How NOT to walk on water

[DuckforcoveR]

I just want to start by saying

A pastor in Zimbabwe has been eaten alive by crocodiles after he attempted to show his congregation he could walk on water.

Really?!

The pastor walked into the river, known locally as Crocodile River, and attempted to ascend above the water before walking across it, according to Zimbabwe Today.  

Rule #1 of trying to recreate something that somebody said somebody else did:

Don't try to recreate that in CROCODILE RIVER!!!

“We still don’t understand how this happened because he fasted and prayed the whole week,” he was quoted as saying by the Daily Post.

LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT "understanding":

The pastor walked into the river, known locally as Crocodile River, and attempted to ascend above the water before walking across it, according to Zimbabwe Today.  

Does that clear it up?

In case you needed more explanation...

Eyewitness Deacon Nkosi told local newspaper The Herald: “The pastor taught us about faith on Sunday last week.

“He promised he would demonstrate his faith to us today, but he unfortunately ended up drowning and getting eaten by three large crocodiles in front of us.

The funny thing about faith is how easy it is to forget it to be a two way street. You have faith that God will be totally cool with you walking across Crocodile River, God has faith that his over-under bet with the elders on how many minutes you'll last is completely safe...

Another Source

[BIAD]

'...“All that was left of him when they finished eating him is a pair of sandals and his
underwear floating above the water.”

According to Daily Post Nigeria, the emergency services arrived 30 minutes after the
incident but were unable to save the pastor...'

And this sentence from the report you kindly supplied also shows that when the 'Big G'
invented the crocodile, a great emphasis was not only placed in the animal's consuming
efficiency, but also in the limits that a Doctor can run or a vehicle can move, were also
weighed.

On the up-side, this account goes a long way to advertise the resilience of certain sandals
and particular under-garments.
Sadly, faith had to settle for the bronze award in this instance.

[DuckforcoveR]

You have a very good point...

Those are some kick ass sandals indeed 

[Daitengu]

Well earned darwin award .... more of the imaginary skyfairy followers should follow his example .... making sure of course that theres plenty of crocodiles waiting for lunch .....

[Mystic Wanderer]

I think the pastor forgot to consider the faith the crocodiles had in seeing an easy target for lunch.  

It appears the crocks had more faith than the pastor. 

[727Sky]

'...“All that was left of him when they finished eating him is a pair of sandals and his
underwear floating above the water.”

According to Daily Post Nigeria, the emergency services arrived 30 minutes after the
incident but were unable to save the pastor...'

And this sentence from the report you kindly supplied also shows that when the 'Big G'
invented the crocodile, a great emphasis was not only placed in the animal's consuming
efficiency, but also in the limits that a Doctor can run or a vehicle can move, were also
weighed.

On the up-side, this account goes a long way to advertise the resilience of certain sandals
and particular under-garments.
Sadly, faith had to settle for the bronze award in this instance.

 On the up-side, this account goes a long way to advertise the resilience of certain sandals
and particular under-garments.... Either that or they were made in China with left over hazardous waste that even the Crocks could not stomach; kinda like some of their dog food that killed a bunch of pets ?