| DuckforcoveR's Forum Info |
| Joined: |
05-18-2016 |
| Last Visit: |
01-02-2023, 12:38 AM |
| Total Posts: |
874 (0.28 posts per day | 1 percent of total posts)
(Find All Posts)
|
| Total Threads: |
66 (0.02 threads per day | 0.81 percent of total threads)
(Find All Threads)
|
| Time Spent Online: |
1 Month, 3 Days |
| Members Referred: |
1
|
| Reputation: |
2,642
[Details] |
|
|
| Additional Info About DuckforcoveR |
| Location: |
Whiskey India |
| Bio: |
My birth went something like this: "It is important to note that suddenly, and against all probability, a Human named Jim had been called into existence, several miles above the surface of an alien planet. And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a human, this innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity."
After that I had to think really fast about how to survive this fall, but I was stuck. No ideas. And then I remembered: "What to do if you find yourself stuck with no hope of rescue: Consider yourself lucky that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your present circumstances seems more likely, consider yourself lucky that it won't be troubling you much longer." I blacked out and don't remember the rest of the fall.
When I finally woke up I was in the cave there was a bear who offered me protection, all I had to do was climb a cliff and get him some fresh honeycomb. Turns out the bees do sting :(
The rest of my childhood was a blur, teenage years doubly so. "The best drink in existence is the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which, is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon... wrapped around a large gold brick."
Early grown-up life was a breeze. My peers were living the hard life of trying to make ends meet and I just got really really good at Identity Theft. Not like the illegal kind, I just constantly pretended I was a rich man who decided to try and be poor one day while bored. I let that go on for years, it was actually pretty fun. Especially the cocktail party stories!
Long story short, I grew up for real one day and am now I'm like the petunias that were falling right next to me as a child. Except now it's with my daughter. And while she's "wide-eyed" mid-fall, I'm next to her like: "Curiously, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias, as it fell, was, "Oh no, not again!" Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly *why* the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now." |
| Sex: |
Male |
|
