Posts: 2,720
Threads: 216
Joined: May 2016
Reputation:
6,809
It’s a 10 minute walk from my house to the pub,
but a 30 minute walk back from the same pub.
The difference is simply staggering !
.
My Grandad always said, “as one door closes, another opens”,
lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.
.
I got a rejection letter from the origami university today,
I’m not sure what to make of it.
,
When Earl Tupper (inventor of Tupperware) died,
his funeral was held up as they couldn't find the right lid for his coffin.
.
The USA should ban grated cheese,
that would make America grate again!
.
It's so annoying when people get their sayings wrong.
After all, it's not exactly rocket salad!
.
I bought a dog from our local blacksmiths,
as soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.
.
My Grandad was a dyslexic baker in the army,
he used to go in all buns glazing.
NEXT? LOL
Love it 
Posts: 12,044
Threads: 749
Joined: May 2016
Reputation:
38,462
Edith Head Gives Good Wardrobe.
Posts: 10,921
Threads: 1,200
Joined: May 2016
Reputation:
17,093
06-14-2019, 07:18 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-14-2019, 07:20 PM by guohua.)
 OKay, Okay, Okay,,,, I Give Up,,,, "comeon,,,, stop laughing,,, my sides hurt"
Once A Rogue, Always A Rogue!
![[Image: attachment.php?aid=936]](http://rogue-nation3.com/attachment.php?aid=936)
Posts: 2,720
Threads: 216
Joined: May 2016
Reputation:
6,809
I'm unashamedly bumping this thread, as it had me in tears, snot and giggles... AGAIN this morning.
Who couldn't do with more giggles right??
OK - who's got some more?????
BigG
Posts: 257
Threads: 18
Joined: Jun 2020
Reputation:
782
03-26-2022, 08:35 AM
(This post was last modified: 03-26-2022, 08:37 AM by Rodinus.)
Helmet cameras...
Great view for watching F1 racing.
Not so good for gay porn I guess !
I still don't understand why the Kamikaze pilots wore helmets!
Posts: 508
Threads: 199
Joined: May 2016
Reputation:
1,960
If money doesn't grow on trees,
why do banks have so many branches?
Posts: 257
Threads: 18
Joined: Jun 2020
Reputation:
782
What the Fuck is he talking about ?
-Shakespears parents-
I still don't understand why the Kamikaze pilots wore helmets!
Posts: 1,065
Threads: 40
Joined: May 2016
Reputation:
4,316
I once fell into an upholstery machine, but it's okay.
I completely recovered.
"I be ridin' they be hatin'."
-Abraham Lincoln
Posts: 80
Threads: 0
Joined: Mar 2022
Reputation:
229
Posts: 861
Threads: 24
Joined: Jun 2020
Reputation:
2,812
03-26-2022, 03:32 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-26-2022, 03:33 PM by hounddoghowlie.)
Why does a dog lick his nuts? Because he can. 
As is it Rodinus would say i'll show myself out, or is it Bally that says that.
Posts: 861
Threads: 24
Joined: Jun 2020
Reputation:
2,812
03-26-2022, 03:50 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-26-2022, 03:51 PM by hounddoghowlie.)
Here's a couple of if one liners i've known for a while,
If a frog had wings, he wouldn't bump his ass when he hopped.
If a bird could fire a .45 the birds wouldn't fuck with him.
Read this one the other day,
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.
Posts: 80
Threads: 0
Joined: Mar 2022
Reputation:
229
When life give you melons, you may also be a Melon farmer
Posts: 257
Threads: 18
Joined: Jun 2020
Reputation:
782
(03-26-2022, 03:52 PM)NoAngels Wrote: When life give you melons, you may also be a Melon farmer
Or just have big tits...
Okay okay, I know where my coat is...
I still don't understand why the Kamikaze pilots wore helmets!
Posts: 1,702
Threads: 65
Joined: Jun 2020
Reputation:
5,059
(06-14-2019, 09:49 AM)gordi Wrote: NEXT? LOL
Two blondes walk into a bar.
You’d think at least the second one would have the sense to duck.
'Cause if they catch you in the back seat trying to pick her locks
They're gonna send you back to Mother in a cardboard box
You better run!
Posts: 861
Threads: 24
Joined: Jun 2020
Reputation:
2,812
what did the left nut say to the right nut? lets beat our meat.
People say money talks, it's true, mine always say's goodbye.
I've never seen a slow deaf child any where on the road where they post the signs?
Posts: 861
Threads: 24
Joined: Jun 2020
Reputation:
2,812
03-26-2022, 04:36 PM
(This post was last modified: 03-26-2022, 04:36 PM by hounddoghowlie.)
Lone Ranger: Tonto My Guns, Tonto: Get Your Own Fucking Guns
Posts: 44
Threads: 2
Joined: Nov 2020
Reputation:
117
Wayfare has just what I need,but not what I can afford!!
Posts: 1,280
Threads: 248
Joined: Mar 2022
Reputation:
3,098
"The world is a beautiful place ...if you don't mind a touch of hell now and then."
― Lawrence Ferlinghetti
"If God doesn't soon bring judgment upon America, He'll have to go back and apologize to Sodom and Gomorrah!"
― Billy Graham (actually his wife Ruth first said it in 1965)
NASTY = TANSY
The word "tansy" is derived from Greek word "Athanaton" which means "immortal".
NASTY = National Association of Spies, Traitors, and Yahoos. ( Credit)
"The New World fell not to a sword but to a meme." – Daniel Quinn
"Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that." ― John Lennon
Rogue News says that the US is a reality show posing as an Empire.
Posts: 11
Threads: 0
Joined: Mar 2022
Reputation:
28
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.
About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
I married my wife for her looks, but not the ones she's giving me lately.
Noah's diary: "Day 35: Unicorn pie is really delicious!"
All of the above were found on the interwebz but hopefully that doesn't detract from the humour.
The only one I can remember from years ago that I cannot forget is:
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
|
![[Image: CoolForCatzSig.png]](https://s4.gifyu.com/images/CoolForCatzSig.png)
![[Image: SIG-Aug-20-2022.png]](https://i.ibb.co/FHtcy4W/SIG-Aug-20-2022.png)
![[Image: TWBB.png]](https://i.postimg.cc/90175HhY/TWBB.png)
