03-27-2022, 02:54 PM
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.
About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
I married my wife for her looks, but not the ones she's giving me lately.
Noah's diary: "Day 35: Unicorn pie is really delicious!"
All of the above were found on the interwebz but hopefully that doesn't detract from the humour.
The only one I can remember from years ago that I cannot forget is:
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
I just found out I'm colorblind. The diagnosis came completely out of the purple.
About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.
I married my wife for her looks, but not the ones she's giving me lately.
Noah's diary: "Day 35: Unicorn pie is really delicious!"
All of the above were found on the interwebz but hopefully that doesn't detract from the humour.
The only one I can remember from years ago that I cannot forget is:
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.