Some One-Liners to Brighten your day!

[gordi]

It’s a 10 minute walk from my house to the pub,
but a 30 minute walk back from the same pub.
The difference is simply staggering !

.

My Grandad always said, “as one door closes, another opens”,
lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.

.

I got a rejection letter from the origami university today,
I’m not sure what to make of it.

,

When Earl Tupper (inventor of Tupperware) died,
his funeral was held up as they couldn't find the right lid for his coffin.

.

The USA should ban grated cheese,
that would make America grate again!
.

It's so annoying when people get their sayings wrong. 
After all, it's not exactly rocket salad!


.

I bought a dog from our local blacksmiths,
as soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.

.

My Grandad was a dyslexic baker in the army,
he used to go in all buns glazing.

NEXT? LOL