Shared From My In-Box

[Snarl]

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I'll probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.
 
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me a happy birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
 
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
"Who was THAT?"
 
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last, she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
 
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both real old," he replied.
 
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
 
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and she was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try figuring out some of this stuff for yourself!"
 
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
 
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."
 
10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said, warily. "How do you make babies?"
"It's easy," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
 
11. "Give me a sentence about a public servant," instructed the teacher during a lesson.
One small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."
 
12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a dalmatian dog.
The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," offered one child.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
 
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."
 
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
 
15. My Grandparents are funny. When they bend over, you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.

[GeauxHomeLittleD]

Grandkids are the best! Love having video chats with the youngest, he will be 3 in two months. He gets so excited and starts talking so fast that we can barely understand him- we just nod our heads and say "Uh huh, that's right little man! Know what you mean!"

Yesterday he was showing Grampy how to "catch fish" and telling Granny all about dinosaurs- I have no idea what he was saying about them but he sure was cute saying it! lol!

[Snarl]

I changed my car horn to sound like gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

@"beez"  decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. He feels so much better saying, "I went to the Jim this morning."

Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought “nap time” was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is ”I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don’t have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights"! I’m just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet.

**Why do I have to press one for English when you’re just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course @"Ninurta"  talks to himself. Sometimes he needs expert advice.

At my age “getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Actually I'm not complaining because I am a "seenager" (senior teenager). I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don’t have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don’t have a curfew. I have a driver’s license and my own car. And I don’t have acne. Life is great.

[727Sky]

[EndtheMadnessNow]

I changed my car horn to sound like gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Choose your honk...

[Snarl]

Especially for you, Big Brother!!

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[727Sky]

Especially for you, Big Brother!!

Thanks good stuff !

[Snarl]

When the primitive desktop computers came on the scene in the 80s, they ushered in one of the most dynamic eras of growth the modern world has ever seen. It could be argued that the Mac and PC, born in garage workshops, began the Digital Age. Their impact has now been surpassed by a simple laptop born out of a Delaware computer repair shop. The infamous Hunter Laptop has changed the world.

That statement is not hyperbole. Think about what had transpired since 2019, when the laptop was received and buried by the FBI. Nothing to see here. Quite the contrary. Disavowing this laptop has had worldwide effects.
1. Joe Biden would not have been elected the 46th President. That is based on the number of people who claim they would not have voted for Biden had they known about the Hunter Laptop.
2. We would not be looking at the highest inflation the country has seen in forty years. The latest number is 8% and continues to climb.
3. We would not be paying the highest gasoline prices in our history. From Day One of his term, he has declared war on the fossil fuel industry, and Americans are paying the price for his decisions. 
4. His slow reaction to the supply chain issues, specifically at our ports, combined with a Secretary of Transportation who is over his head, haunts us with empty shelves and skyrocketing prices.
5. Our Southern Border would exist. Over 2M illegal immigrants have entered since January 2021, but with Biden dropping Article 42, we may see 100K / week. Outlandish. 
6. That 100,000 is also the number of Americans dying each year from Fentanyl made in China and smuggled through Mexico. It then comes to us through what used to be our border.
7. Ukraine would still have a country, as two million have already relocated to Poland. It is a mess, and because Biden is compromised in Ukraine, China, and Russia, we are not giving Ukraine the support it needs nor exerting all possible sanctions on Russia.
8. We would have a qualified Vice President and would not have been determined to have a Black Woman. It is the same with Biden’s Supreme Court Justice nominee. Lady Liberty is blindfolded, so why can’t we have the best person rather than the best Black Woman? 
9. Biden was giddy at the White House ceremony bragging about how diverse his administration is. Unfortunately, we do not need diversity. We need excellence. We don’t have it in Biden. 
10. The Taliban would not be in charge of Afghanistan, we would not be negotiating with Russia for an Iran Nuclear Deal, and we would never talk to Venezuela about their oil.

Those are just the Top 10, I could go on, but you get the point. If some foreign power intended to destroy America, they could do so without firing a shot. They just had to get Joe Biden in the White House. And to think that a small laptop, probably made in China, may have been their most potent weapon of all.

[AmericanBuffalo]

Sure there is so so much more but at this point the damage has been done. The American populace has demonstrated the old proverb, ' cutting your nose off to spite the face' is the way of life for many sheeples.
Hey man no more mean tweets or hyperbole is worth sliding further into decay. Okay.

[Snarl]

'cutting your nose off to spite the face' 

Saw that happen once, except the 'executioner' took the upper lip along with the nose.

The delay ... before the inevitable scream ... was one of the most unnerving moments I can recall.

I've seen people lose their hands and feet before too.  Oddly, there's no screaming during those.

[AmericanBuffalo]

'cutting your nose off to spite the face' 

Saw that happen once, except the 'executioner' took the upper lip along with the nose.

The delay ... before the inevitable scream ... was one of the most unnerving moments I can recall.

I've seen people lose their hands and feet before too.  Oddly, there's no screaming during those.

Sounds horrible to witness! I saw a guy lose his foot once. He didn't know it until he went to take a step and all he had was a bloody stump. It was a bit unnerving to see.

[Snarl]

Sounds horrible to witness!

More like a rite of passage.  Certainly changed my perspective of the people with whom we share this planet.

Never had a problem aiming guns at muslims after that.

[727Sky]

Sounds horrible to witness!

More like a rite of passage.  Certainly changed my perspective of the people with whom we share this planet.

Never had a problem aiming guns at muslims after that.

[Snarl]

Three eye openers today:

1. 40,000 National Guardsmen are about to be kicked-out for not vaxxing-up.

2. Military Troops are gonna have trouble in the abortion lane. I suspect this will lead to a lot of preggo females shedding their uniforms and walking off into the sunset.

3. Even though they've curtailed recruitment goals, the complete lack of interest in joining the military, has reduced the Army to seeking recruits who don't have a HS diploma or a GED.  Even better, all you've got to score on the ASVAB Test is a 50 and you're in.  The lowest ASVAB score that'll get you into a combat arms MOS: 31

I recall a bunch of people knocking the Russian Army after they invaded The Ukraine. How do we look in comparison?

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

Three eye openers today:

1. 40,000 National Guardsmen are about to be kicked-out for not vaxxing-up.

2. Military Troops are gonna have trouble in the abortion lane. I suspect this will lead to a lot of preggo females shedding their uniforms and walking off into the sunset.

3. Even though they've curtailed recruitment goals, the complete lack of interest in joining the military, has reduced the Army to seeking recruits who don't have a HS diploma or a GED.  Even better, all you've got to score on the ASVAB Test is a 50 and you're in.  The lowest ASVAB score that'll get you into a combat arms MOS: 31

I recall a bunch of people knocking the Russian Army after they invaded The Ukraine. How do we look in comparison?

Sounds about right.

For most young folk there are not a whole lot of incentives for joining the military, unless they feel they don't have any other choice, and many of them will not put a lot of faith in education.

Those that are interested in obtaining a high school diploma, interested in some career market, or college, is not going to willingly sign up for the military, unless they are fall for the, "We will pay for your college, if you join", deception. That is how they got me.

Never got the school I wanted, when "I" wanted it. But I made lemonade out of the lemons I was handed, so it was not a complete loss.

The military are either looking for officer material, or fodder. You don't want your fodder to be too intelligent, you just want them to be desperate.

[Snarl]

Even better, all you've got to score on the ASVAB Test is a 50 and you're in.  The lowest ASVAB score that'll get you into a combat arms MOS: 31

You don't want your fodder to be too intelligent, you just want them to be desperate.

Am assuming the ASVAB test score I quoted was meant to be the GT Score.  You know how dumb people are who can only post a 50 ... let alone a 31.  I would guess you've got to get a higher score than 31 simply by bubbling in an answer on every line.

[Ninurta]

Three eye openers today:

1. 40,000 National Guardsmen are about to be kicked-out for not vaxxing-up.

2. Military Troops are gonna have trouble in the abortion lane. I suspect this will lead to a lot of preggo females shedding their uniforms and walking off into the sunset.

3. Even though they've curtailed recruitment goals, the complete lack of interest in joining the military, has reduced the Army to seeking recruits who don't have a HS diploma or a GED.  Even better, all you've got to score on the ASVAB Test is a 50 and you're in.  The lowest ASVAB score that'll get you into a combat arms MOS: 31

I recall a bunch of people knocking the Russian Army after they invaded The Ukraine. How do we look in comparison?

Sounds about right.

For most young folk there are not a whole lot of incentives for joining the military, unless they feel they don't have any other choice, and many of them will not put a lot of faith in education.

Those that are interested in obtaining a high school diploma, interested in some career market, or college, is not going to willingly sign up for the military, unless they are fall for the, "We will pay for your college, if you join", deception. That is how they got me.

Never got the school I wanted, when "I" wanted it. But I made lemonade out of the lemons I was handed, so it was not a complete loss.

The military are either looking for officer material, or fodder. You don't want your fodder to be too intelligent, you just want them to be desperate.

West Point has gone woke, and is teaching CRT. That will be their officer material. So much for the officer corps.

Recruiters are just looking for cannon fodder, and finding damned little of that. Most of what they are looking for as cannon fodder is busy running the streets, burning crap down, and trying to whack people in the head with locks on bike chains.

No one is interested in joining any more because they see what the military is becoming. It is being "fundamentally transformed" from a fighting defense force into a domestic dissent suppression force. That is the only reason I can think of to woke up the officer corps, woke up the rank and file, and mandate the vax or be booted.

I'm no genius, and if I can see it, it's a sure bet that bright young minds can see it, too, and they have no interest in joining that sort of force. Only the Wokers would do that, and there aren't quite as many of them around as the MSM would have us believe.

On top of that, a lot of military folks are getting out while the getting is good. They see where it's headed, too, From the inside. I know two personally who retired during May and June.

Hard times for the former American military machine, but it's going to be interesting times for the good ol' USA.

.

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

Hard times for the former American military machine, but it's going to be interesting times for the good ol' USA.

.

You got me to thinking.

I have a friend that was seduced into the military to get his citizenship.

He said they injected him and the others with something that was supposed to be the standard vaccinations, but he said whatever it was made them all sick and he has not been the same since. 

He also thinks that the numerous ailments he has, is due to those injections.

He says he is suspicious because, when he tried to track exactly what vaccines they gave him, the record, is no longer available. They can't find them.

They also shafted him on his benefits.

So, I could be wrong as two left shoes, but...

Just might explain the drive for open borders.

Just a thought.

[EndtheMadnessNow]

Hard times for the former American military machine, but it's going to be interesting times for the good ol' USA.

.

You got me to thinking.

I have a friend that was seduced into the military to get his citizenship.

He said they injected him and the others with something that was supposed to be the standard vaccinations, but he said whatever it was made them all sick and he has not been the same since. 

He also thinks that the numerous ailments he has, is due to those injections.

He says he is suspicious because, when he tried to track exactly what vaccines they gave him, the record, is no longer available. They can't find them.

They also shafted him on his benefits.

So, I could be wrong as two left shoes, but...

Just might explain the drive for open borders.

Just a thought.

I heard somewhere that NG troops are being sent to Somalia. The unvaxxed?

After the mil seen my ASVAB score they wanted me in the nuclear program. I said no and went into electronics & crypto. I still have no idea what the military injected into me, we were not told at the time and in my medical record it just says 2 experimental injections for CBR. It's probably known by now but haven't looked into it in years. Funny thing is that the Air Force rejected me and the Navy couldn't wait to get me signed up. Guess, I got lucky back then unlike today's shitstorm where I got my choice of schools, duty stations, and a big (to me) re-enlistment bonus. They wanted me to go officer, turned that down, and shortly after exited the Navy. I'm more of a hands-on guy vice managerial type. My good buddy who at the time hated the Navy, couldn't wait to get out, ended up staying in, and became an officer, retiring when he hit his 20. Go figure.

[Ninurta]

I heard somewhere that NG troops are being sent to Somalia. The unvaxxed?

After the mil seen my ASVAB score they wanted me in the nuclear program. I said no and went into electronics & crypto. I still have no idea what the military injected into me, we were not told at the time and in my medical record it just says 2 experimental injections for CBR. It's probably known by now but haven't looked into it in years. Funny thing is that the Air Force rejected me and the Navy couldn't wait to get me signed up. Guess, I got lucky back then unlike today's shitstorm where I got my choice of schools, duty stations, and a big (to me) re-enlistment bonus. They wanted me to go officer, turned that down, and shortly after exited the Navy. I'm more of a hands-on guy vice managerial type. My good buddy who at the time hated the Navy, couldn't wait to get out, ended up staying in, and became an officer, retiring when he hit his 20. Go figure.

Same here on the ASVAB. I scored a 97, and the Navy recruiter told me I could write my own ticket, but they kept coming back around to trying to talk me into going nuke, on a sub. That wasn't gonna happen. I got so frustrated with it coming back to that subject that I finally told them I wanted to sleep in the mud and crawl around in barbed wire, and did they have any job descriptions like that?

The recruiters kept bugging the crap out of me and calling me, so I finally told them I couldn't go military, and when they asked why, I just said "I don't like shiny shoes", and that was the last I heard from them. I went freelance instead, and that is likely why I am not as attached to any particular flag or a chain of command ending at a Dumbass-in-Chief as most military types are. My flag changed every time I got on an airplane - hard to get attached to just one like that.

It's also probably why I'm not attached to any particular party, even though I lean hard conservative, philosophically, and it's why I can make posts that are not defending BidenHarris, but at the same time unwilling to remove him from his high chair. I look at the line of succession standing behind him, and am convinced that removing him will only install a greater evil. Better the incompetent devil you know rather than the shadows waiting in the wings, just slobbering for him to slip out of his chair.

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