As the menacing pair approached Ninurta, leaning against the wall, Chad set his feet in a wide stance and offered the challenge once more. "I ast' yer what yer doin' there, fella! Don't ignore me, or you might get dealt with rough!"
Ninurta sighed, and - his cover blown - decided that a smoke would be permissible now. As he reached into his pocket for his makings to roll one up, he responded with "Mindin' my own goddamned business. I highly recommend it."
Chad's eyes widened a bit, and he edged a little closer before replying "You gettin' smart with me, fella? Are we gonna have a problem here?"
Ninurta finished biting the edge off his rolling paper - he preferred OCB papers, which didn't have the sticky gum to hold the rolled product together - then licked the ragged edge and stuck it down. Fishing a strike anywhere match from his pocket, he looked Chad in the eye - not failing to notice that the other guy, Whitey, was edging around to his side - and grunted out "Nope. I don't see anything here that could present any sort of problem at all" and struck the match with a thumbnail.
Chad snorted. "You don' think that the two of us could be a problem fer yer scrawny ass?"
"Nope" was the single word reply.
Several things then happened all at once. Ninurta lit his smoke, Chad lunged from the front and Whitey from the side. Ninurta flicked the still lit match at Whitey's head and with the other hand punched Chad in the throat. The he grabbed Chad by the scruff of his neck with his left hand and stuck his right leg out. Pivoting on his left leg, he swept Whitey's legs out from under him and continuing the pivot to his right deposited Chad atop Whitey in a heap.
Ninurta puffed his smoke surveying the heap, and said "That was disappointin'. Y'all git yer asses up an' let's try that again. Mebbe you'll have better luck nest time."
Obligingly, Chad arose gasping for air and Whitey arose muttering. Chad balled up a fist and took a jab at Ninurta's head, which was a mistake. Well, anything he could do at that point would have been a mistake, so the mistake he made was as good as any, Ninurta snapped his head to the side just enough to guarantee a miss, then grabbed Chad's wrist with his left hand and his upper arm with the right hand and twisted the arm up behind Chad, causing Chad to spin himself around to avoid the pain, until the fist was between his shoulder blades... then shoved him directly at the rising Whitey hooking Chad's ankles with the back of Ninurta's own ankle resulting in the pair being deposited in a heap again.
Ninurta took another puff. "Are y'all new at this fightin' thing or something? Git up! Try it again. I aim to keep ye at it 'til ye git it right."
At that point Muckles interjected with one of her stage whispers "why'nt ye jist shoot 'em?"
Ninurta shrugged and replied "Guns is noisy. Loud bangs might upset the delicate negotiations goin' on in yon bar." Then, to the heap of flesh on the ground, he said "Git the hell up! YOU were the ones lookin' fer 'fun' - where's yer spirit now? Iffen you don' git up, ahm gonna kick the shit out of you where you lay, ya nosy bastards!"
As the intrepid duo untangled their limbs from the heap and started to rise again, Ninurta kicked Chad in the face and sent him sprawling on his back, and then shot his boot into Whitey's ribs causing him to roll over grunting. "Well I reckon y'all ain't gittin' up fast enough to suit me" he muttered. "better git up quicker this time afore I beat you to goddamned death where ye lay."
Dutifully, the pair started to get up again, far too slowly as they nursed their bruises and such. Muckles again whispered harshly "They's just gunna keep coming if ye don't use yer gun".
Ninurta studied the pair struggling to arise and commented "Ah'll give 'em that. They ARE obedient pups!" as he drew his pistol at Muckles' suggestion. Instead of shooting them, however, which might have drawn a crowd, Ninurta grasped the weapon by it's barrel and squatted between the struggling pair. Looking at Chad, Ninurta said " 'Fun' my ass! Y'all ain't no damned fun at all! You'd best get back to the schoolyard an' practice 'till you can at least whoop a schoolgirl afore ye come back for any more. Nighty-night, now." and struck each on the back of their head with the butt of the gun, leaving them in separate sprawling heaps.
Ninurta, with Muckles' assistance, then wrested the hulks into the bed of their pickup truck and left them there to sleep off the beating. Returning to his post against the wall, Nin muttered "That WAS disappointing! No goddamned fun at all!"
Mucklebones cackled at him "There's sumpin' wrong wi' you, there is!"
Ninurta shrugged and said "Prolly so" and continued puffing on his smoke which had only burned half way down during the entirety of the struggle.
.
Ninurta sighed, and - his cover blown - decided that a smoke would be permissible now. As he reached into his pocket for his makings to roll one up, he responded with "Mindin' my own goddamned business. I highly recommend it."
Chad's eyes widened a bit, and he edged a little closer before replying "You gettin' smart with me, fella? Are we gonna have a problem here?"
Ninurta finished biting the edge off his rolling paper - he preferred OCB papers, which didn't have the sticky gum to hold the rolled product together - then licked the ragged edge and stuck it down. Fishing a strike anywhere match from his pocket, he looked Chad in the eye - not failing to notice that the other guy, Whitey, was edging around to his side - and grunted out "Nope. I don't see anything here that could present any sort of problem at all" and struck the match with a thumbnail.
Chad snorted. "You don' think that the two of us could be a problem fer yer scrawny ass?"
"Nope" was the single word reply.
Several things then happened all at once. Ninurta lit his smoke, Chad lunged from the front and Whitey from the side. Ninurta flicked the still lit match at Whitey's head and with the other hand punched Chad in the throat. The he grabbed Chad by the scruff of his neck with his left hand and stuck his right leg out. Pivoting on his left leg, he swept Whitey's legs out from under him and continuing the pivot to his right deposited Chad atop Whitey in a heap.
Ninurta puffed his smoke surveying the heap, and said "That was disappointin'. Y'all git yer asses up an' let's try that again. Mebbe you'll have better luck nest time."
Obligingly, Chad arose gasping for air and Whitey arose muttering. Chad balled up a fist and took a jab at Ninurta's head, which was a mistake. Well, anything he could do at that point would have been a mistake, so the mistake he made was as good as any, Ninurta snapped his head to the side just enough to guarantee a miss, then grabbed Chad's wrist with his left hand and his upper arm with the right hand and twisted the arm up behind Chad, causing Chad to spin himself around to avoid the pain, until the fist was between his shoulder blades... then shoved him directly at the rising Whitey hooking Chad's ankles with the back of Ninurta's own ankle resulting in the pair being deposited in a heap again.
Ninurta took another puff. "Are y'all new at this fightin' thing or something? Git up! Try it again. I aim to keep ye at it 'til ye git it right."
At that point Muckles interjected with one of her stage whispers "why'nt ye jist shoot 'em?"
Ninurta shrugged and replied "Guns is noisy. Loud bangs might upset the delicate negotiations goin' on in yon bar." Then, to the heap of flesh on the ground, he said "Git the hell up! YOU were the ones lookin' fer 'fun' - where's yer spirit now? Iffen you don' git up, ahm gonna kick the shit out of you where you lay, ya nosy bastards!"
As the intrepid duo untangled their limbs from the heap and started to rise again, Ninurta kicked Chad in the face and sent him sprawling on his back, and then shot his boot into Whitey's ribs causing him to roll over grunting. "Well I reckon y'all ain't gittin' up fast enough to suit me" he muttered. "better git up quicker this time afore I beat you to goddamned death where ye lay."
Dutifully, the pair started to get up again, far too slowly as they nursed their bruises and such. Muckles again whispered harshly "They's just gunna keep coming if ye don't use yer gun".
Ninurta studied the pair struggling to arise and commented "Ah'll give 'em that. They ARE obedient pups!" as he drew his pistol at Muckles' suggestion. Instead of shooting them, however, which might have drawn a crowd, Ninurta grasped the weapon by it's barrel and squatted between the struggling pair. Looking at Chad, Ninurta said " 'Fun' my ass! Y'all ain't no damned fun at all! You'd best get back to the schoolyard an' practice 'till you can at least whoop a schoolgirl afore ye come back for any more. Nighty-night, now." and struck each on the back of their head with the butt of the gun, leaving them in separate sprawling heaps.
Ninurta, with Muckles' assistance, then wrested the hulks into the bed of their pickup truck and left them there to sleep off the beating. Returning to his post against the wall, Nin muttered "That WAS disappointing! No goddamned fun at all!"
Mucklebones cackled at him "There's sumpin' wrong wi' you, there is!"
Ninurta shrugged and said "Prolly so" and continued puffing on his smoke which had only burned half way down during the entirety of the struggle.
.
Diogenes was eating bread and lentils for supper. He was seen by the philosopher Aristippus, who lived comfortably by flattering the king.
Said Aristippus, ‘If you would learn to be subservient to the king you would not have to live on lentils.’ Said Diogenes, ‘Learn to live on lentils and you will not have to be subservient to the king.’
Said Aristippus, ‘If you would learn to be subservient to the king you would not have to live on lentils.’ Said Diogenes, ‘Learn to live on lentils and you will not have to be subservient to the king.’