10-24-2022, 07:23 AM
(10-23-2022, 09:35 PM)ChiefD Wrote: Thank you so much for your kind replies and prayers. I greatly appreciate it.
Regarding an update, I have some bad news. Ron's heart and lungs are failing. He is struggling to breathe even with the bipap going full throttle. It's obvious to the doctors, nurses, and me that he is suffering. The main doctor told me that without the bipap helping him to breathe, he will die. He told me as gently as he could that the he cannot stay on a bipap indefinitely. The nursing home wouldn't take him back like that anyway. They could do a tracheotomy, but that would be quite invasive, and the doctor told me he wouldn't likely survive the surgery. And his quality of life and comfort would be gone. As it is, seeing him struggle to breathe is one of the most gut wrenching things I've ever seen in my life. The doctor stated his chances of recovery are very low. Even if he did fully recover, his heart is starting to fail too. There is a good chance that he will go into cardiac arrest again. I changed things to DNR and they put a bracelet on him. Trying to do CPR on him again would do him more harm than good.
He was awake and conscious, and I could tell he was agitated. I told him how much I love him, and that I would do everything I can to make sure he's comfortable. The doctor told me that there is an option to take him off the bipap, give him some meds to relax him, and then I can say my final goodbyes and he would just go to sleep permanently. I feel this is a humane thing to do, as much as I know in my heart after talking to a couple of doctors and a chaplain that he is declining. I'm going to take a couple of days at the most so I can get things in order. I've already talked to someone at the funeral home where I did pre planning on his funeral. He will be cremated and have full military honors. He will be buried at the veterans cemetery in King, WI. I actually got the approval letter from the military cemetery today.
They did a CT scan on him earlier this afternoon, after I had left and gone back home. I'm waiting to hear from the doctor on that. They think he has a large blood clot on his lung, a PE. The pulmonary doctor echoed what the main doctor said, that if this is the case, the options could be risky and make the blood clot burst, which would kill him. So I'm waiting on those results and praying for a miracle, but I don't think there will be a miracle. I called and talked to Ron's daughter and son-in-law who live in Kansas. They are going to make a 10 hour drive to the hospital to see him. They will be here Monday night. I hope Ron can hold on until Tuesday. Once Tuesday comes, I will be making the decision and get things set up. I just don't want to prolong his suffering. I can't do that to him. This is horrific for me, and I'm a complete mess right now. But I am determined to take action by Monday or Tuesday.
I know he's going to Heaven. He will be reunited with his Mom, Dad, and brother, and friends he made while in the Navy. I will think about that when I feel like I want to lay down and die. I won't lay down and die. I will keep on and honor his final wishes. It's the least I can do.
Oh no, I am so, so sorry .... I am crying as I write this, for I feel your pain
Nothing is worse than seeing our loved one dying, suffering and not a damn thing that we can do.
Just keep telling him how much you love him.
Talk to him, sing to him -- whatever
Let him know how wonderful he is and that it is okay for him to go on, that you forgive him for everything and that you will love him always
Tell him you will meet him again, in the next life ... or in heaven (not sure of your beliefs, no offense intended)
The emotional roller coaster ride will take a toll on you, so be sure and get as much rest that you can and try to eat, if possible .
Sending positive vibes your way
Will be keeping you in my thoughts
Stay Strong ~
Susan