Which ones of the 10 commandments have you broke? (If any)

[Finspiracy]

I would have been dead, or a vegetable, if I had not moved my head at just that second in just the right direction. I never saw it coming. It changed me.

Yes, it changed you. I know. Things of this nature are extremely profound.

When i was drunk and jaywalking, August of 2020, and got hit by a bus, due to me totally not giving a damn about the bus, and i broke my hip and arm and got bruises... It changed me.

I have always been a deep person. More a curse than a blessing. I am prone to overthinking and that causes anxiety and confusion. I could have been dead, or a vegetable. Instead, i was a prisoner of my own home for 3 months, intense physiotherapy like 8 times a day, learning to walk again. And then completely recovered. Why? That is what i want to know. That is what i always want to know, about everything. Why? It takes me a couple of minutes to write this post. During that time frame, me writing this post, somewhere, on this planet a perfectly good person dies or becomes a vegetable in an accident. And i am God damn scumbag. Why was i saved? Are there protective forces, like guardian Angels, who got my back? Or are there evil forces who want to keep me here to feed them with my mental suffering and struggle? Was i saved? What if i died and got sent directly to hell with crisis after crisis after crisis going on around me. Why am i writing this post? What am i trying to achieve with this post? Maybe i just want to be heard, or read in this case. Why am i even here? Why are you? What is the purpose of everything? Does any purpose even exist? Do i exist? And if so, Why?

I think that with all the massive, insane amounts of contemplating i do.. daily and nightly... whenever i reach an answer, the answer either sprouts 2 or more new questions, or the answer is faulty to begin with. I am the definition of confusion. And i want to know why.