Which ones of the 10 commandments have you broke? (If any)

[yuppa]

I would have been dead, or a vegetable, if I had not moved my head at just that second in just the right direction. I never saw it coming. It changed me.

Yes, it changed you. I know. Things of this nature are extremely profound.

When i was drunk and jaywalking, August of 2020, and got hit by a bus, due to me totally not giving a damn about the bus, and i broke my hip and arm and got bruises... It changed me.

I have always been a deep person. More a curse than a blessing. I am prone to overthinking and that causes anxiety and confusion. I could have been dead, or a vegetable. Instead, i was a prisoner of my own home for 3 months, intense physiotherapy like 8 times a day, learning to walk again. And then completely recovered. Why? That is what i want to know. That is what i always want to know, about everything. Why? It takes me a couple of minutes to write this post. During that time frame, me writing this post, somewhere, on this planet a perfectly good person dies or becomes a vegetable in an accident. And i am God damn scumbag. Why was i saved? Are there protective forces, like guardian Angels, who got my back? Or are there evil forces who want to keep me here to feed them with my mental suffering and struggle? Was i saved? What if i died and got sent directly to hell with crisis after crisis after crisis going on around me. Why am i writing this post? What am i trying to achieve with this post? Maybe i just want to be heard, or read in this case. Why am i even here? Why are you? What is the purpose of everything? Does any purpose even exist? Do i exist? And if so, Why?

I think that with all the massive, insane amounts of contemplating i do.. daily and nightly... whenever i reach an answer, the answer either sprouts 2 or more new questions, or the answer is faulty to begin with. I am the definition of confusion. And i want to know why.

Why? My Mother said that was one of the first words that ever came out of my mouth, and that I never stopped asking the question once it crossed my lips. She saved her change so she could buy me books to add and complete our encyclopedia collections. I spent an unusual amount of time in the local library, chasing answers to questions that others could not answer, for me. I spent hours in the Library of Congress, also searching for that elusive information. All those years later, and here I am, almost at the gate, and still asking, why?

Maybe that is the quest, searching to still the addiction for the knowing. Maybe as suggested in the novel "Ishmael", that the eating from the fruit of the tree of knowledge infected us with the curse of ever searching for the why? but keeping us from the understanding required to quench the thirst of knowing. It might be why we look to those we deem to be wiser, more knowing, always hoping that someone will breach the fortress of the knowing and share that gift with us. All we keep finding is disappointment, because I believe that the answer is so simple  we just can't process what is right in front of our eyes. Or we don't want to see it, and likely don't want to know it. Plausible denial remains strong in our human psyche.

Here is the thing. the 10 commandments are specified for the direct people of abraham/jews/hebrews.
The rest of us are covered under the NT covenant of Grace,not laws. We only need to do 3 things Jesus asked non hebrews to do. The catholic church is handicapping itself by trying to be hebrews.
Jesus came to uphold the laws,just some have different laws to follow than others.