Those dang gone baby boomers are killin the world, ya'll!

[kdog]

It's all my fault. Putting elevators in for 34 years made all the later generations fat. 

Before that, people were skinny because they had to take the stairs.

I need an elevator to my basement... Feeling helpful? Hahaha hahaha

Oh, I could rig up something from materials from Harbor Freight, but you need to sign a waiver releasing me from any liability.