Valiant Thor

[ABNARTY]

It always saddens me when I have to do this, these tales I grew up on and even though, I knew the backdrop of 'Valiant Thor'
would immediately expose the silliness of the claim -along with his name, I wallowed in the fictional enjoyment of the whole
buffoonery.

Have you noticed, the chiseled features of @EndtheMadnessNow's image and how the more-rugged blonde-maned Valiant
Thor had changed from the slim, handsome dark-haired and younger man in @hounddoghowlie's image...? Is it merely a
natural part of Venusian evolution of hair-colouring or did this alien feel the need for hair-dye?

Considering his alleged influence he had in the powerful circles Valiant Thor was supposed to mix in, one would think he'd have
given us the ingredients for a material that could endure the horrible environment of his 'home planet'. Number Nine and Ten of
the Soviet's Venera expeditions did show an inhospitable place and yet, many bought the concept that a couple of photographs
stating some basically human-like species lived underground and constructed a unique -for its era, apparatus that could travel
the twenty-five million miles to tell us about... about what?


Mr Thor's stomping-ground.

Mid-March, 1957.
What did the Venusian give us in the three years Valiant Thor was here?
Well, after landing in a farmer's field in Alexandria, Virginia, Valiant Thor commanded his two fellow-occupants of the craft -that
is never discussed, to remain with their vehicle and then instructs the local Police -who'd arrived in the location for some reason,
that he needed to speak to the President of The United States. Maybe the lack of yester-year's media showing up to a spaceship
arrival is an indicator of how laziness in Journalism is impacting today on their trade.

One may presume that Thor's home-planet had been monitoring our communications and understood how our hierarchical strata
of power works and ergo, not asked to speak to the White House Janitor. It seems this manner of ranked-governance is also how
they do things out there among the stars.

Whisked away from the scene of his smouldering touchdown, Valiant Thor arrives at the President's residence and meets with
Secretary of Defence, Neil H McElroy and accepting the handsome young Venusian's credentials, invites him into the Oval Office.
Dwight D. Eisenhower was there along with Vice-President Richard Nixon and his Joint Chiefs, so Valiant had landed on his feet
from the get-go.

Valiant Thor laid it out as thus: The Intergalactic High Council were beginning to sweat about the nuclear capabilities of this little
blue planet and what mess we could make for them. I'd wager you feel unlucky right now for not being born on Venus, all this stuff
about space-travelling committees would be common knowledge to those on a planet that can melt lead any day of the week on
its surface. Sadly, they just left us out of the whole game for some reason.

In a nutshell, Valiant's superiors didn't want us to blow ourselves up, it can make a mess and the Intergalactic High Council don't
employ Janitors like the White House does. (Was a Vladimir Thor discussing the same dilemma with Nikita Khrushchev in the
Kremlin at that moment or did he only speak with those who shunned Communism?)

Anyway, Thor stuck around in an advisory capacity and even though Eisenhower wanted to tell the public about his out-of-this
-world confidant, Tricky Dickie and the traditionally grave-faced Joint Chiefs talked him out of it.
(Damn, lucked-out again!)

Frank Stranges was supposed to be a Chaplain with top security-clearance at the Pentagon (he wasn't), did break the news
on the young Venusian and claims he met Valiant and this two friends on several occasions. When I say 'break-the-news',
I meant he wrote a book where sources is another word for ketchup.
Stranges' claims were backed-up by the nephew author of Admiral Richard E. Byrd, which makes it okay.

After the three years were up and on March 16 1960, Valiant said goodbye to the innocent middle and upper-class people
he'd mixed with and buggered-off back to Venus.

Since we can later assume Thor didn't have an equal passing-on this type of intergalactic warning to the Russians, they
built the sixteen Venera space probes and unknowingly followed the three Buzz Lightyears to their home planet. It was
reported after hearing of the waste of materials and effects on the climate due to the expeditions, a young John Kerry
wept.

But wait... there's more.
Val Thor -'cos that what his friends called him, also explained lesser-known revelations of how his people exist in the grim
environment of Venus. He told us that many races like his own, live underground (where your probes won't see us... can't
we catch one freakin' break here?!) and that these multitudes of aliens will quietly come here to help our planet's seemingly
insurmountable problems.

But what the now-blonde-haired dude from Venus was most happy to pass along was that the Intergalactic High Council and
all those it served enjoyed Christ's presence in the universe and that it was heart-warming to see Christ's advanced teaching
continuing here on the Earth. Jeez, did Big Val mean the white guy who the Jews nailed on a cross...? I guess the high-falutin
Sadducees are on a blacklist somewhere up there among the stars.
................................................................

It's a shame, because it's a fine story. It was just an era where the world was still recovering from a war and a bright future
was hoped to lie ahead for us. The Forties and Fifties had screamed of restraint and guys like Thor were a possible doorway
into an approaching time of wished-for goodness. It's just a shame the granite-jawed Venusian couldn't stick around and enjoy
the free-love, the Kent State shootings, Kennedy visiting Dallas, The Beatles and a certain man he'd met with having to resign
as President.

C'est La Vie -as they say on Saturn.

So... you're saying there are aspects of his claim you find odd? 

Perhaps, a stretch even? 

I'll have you know some of my best friends are Venusians. VLM!!!

Crikey!  Then you'd probably know Zealous Zeus, Jesus Jupiter and Croc Dundee then?  

I do!!!