07-01-2020, 03:33 PM
My apologies for the delay! This was supposed to be done first thing in the morning but got pulled in earlier than expected.
Thanks to both @"TheRedneck" and @"beez" for the trip down memory lane!!
I'm not going to sugar-coat this one, it's been a thorn in my side my entire adult life (and the previous Governor of my state - Scott Walker - closed down the pardon board like day one when he was first elected. So there wasn't even a chance to get it looked at until now).
My senior year in high school I joined the Army (as planned), went through entrance in Milwaukee WI on April 27th 2001. I was in DEP to have "one last summer", my ship date to basic was supposed to be 9/11/2001 (what a trip that would've been...). Not even 3 weeks later I got a knock at my door and 3 local PD's were waiting for me. Thinking it was another complaint about the unregistered Turismo in my driveway I opened up with a shit-eating grin to say good morning. "You are under arrest for Delivery of a Controlled Substance" he said. Got pulled away in handcuffs.
Here's the low down: THE PREVIOUS SUMMER I was at a friends house partaking in some ... festivities ... as a 17-year old kid going into his Senior Year ready to put all of this behind me and straighten myself up for the Army. PFCI informant was a "friend" from out of town who had lived here for about a year (was actually brought up from out of state to investigate this Alice's Restaurant type "drug ring"). Turns out he had some pretty serious charges in another state and was a plant from day 1. One night, he's outside this "gathering" in his truck and I went to say hi. Get to the window and his new "girlfriend" (local undercover PD from another city about 3 hours away) was in the car with him. He asked for grass (I wasn't a dealer) and I told him no, "we smoked it all!". He begged for "anything" and I made a joking comment that "all I have left is this roach". He offered to buy it, so I jokingly handed him a roach and told him it's on the house. She threw me 5 dollars for my trouble and I thought "cool, I can buy a pack of smokes!".
Fast forward almost 1 year: The "investigation" concluded and snared a few "big time" dime-bag dealers (who probably netted about 100 bucks each that summer). I was one. I will share some pictures of the "8x10 glossy photos with a description on the back" Arlo Guthrie stuff one day. But there I was, sitting charged with delivery of .6 grams of Marijuana, a Felony with a mandatory minimum of 6 months in jail. (.351 was the actual Marijuana weight once the State Crime Lab tore the zig zag paper off...).
I fought it in court for almost 1.5 years (public defenders were all I could do), reached out to NORML for help (was turned down as the case was "cut and dry"), I tried everything. I had another pre-trial conference scheduled for 11/2002 at 10:30am. I lived in Milwaukee at the time so my "home town" was about 5 hours away. Drove up and arrived at 10am, District Attorney, 2 deputies, and my Public Defender were all there waiting for me. The charge? Felony Bail Jumping. My signature bond that I signed in 5/2001 said I was supposed to confirm day / time with the court within 72 hours. They changed my court time to 9:30 and I never got the letter. Since I didn't confirm, and I was 30 minutes late, I did not meet the conditions of my bond. I was sat down and given two choices:
Plead No Contest to the Felony Marijuana charge and they will drop the Bail Jumping charge (which carried a max of 10 years...) I would serve 6 months in jail and probation.
Or:
Continue to fight the Marijuana charge and also have a Felony Bail Jumping charge to contend with. Both added up could have been a max of like 14 years (and a minimum of 1 year)
I gave up. Shaking and ready to just lash out, I signed the plea deal. That brought end to my fight. I went to county jail for the next 6 months and got a job at a factory. My friends all shipped off to basic, and while I was in jail winter / spring of 2002 / 2003 I watched them get called to Iraq for the invasion, and there I was in an orange jump suit making cribbage boards and chess pieces out of broken combs and toilet paper / tooth paste mixtures. While in jail I stopped fighting the graffiti charge as well, plead no contest and paid the fine. I didn't implicate my friend (although they pressed) because he was sticking his head out of Humvee with a gun in hand on the other side of the world. When he got out, I liked to rub it in that I "took the fall" for painting the bridge. We were drunk and playing pool one night, the bet was that if I lost I could never bring up the stupid "taking the fall" story again. I lost, haven't brought it up since.
And here we go folks. There certainly is some truth scattered in here but I still crack up and get ashamed when I think of this one.
I was on the phone with my ex-ex, and I did hear some ruckus in the treeline. It was coming towards me and really was "step step draaag". I joked with her that "sounds like somebody dragging a body" but I got alarmed when it got closer and louder. I was whispering to her "oh my god! I'm not kidding" and then it stopped... I scanned the treeline and saw a 6' male dressed in cammo with a black ski-mask (one of those neoprene ones) just staring at me.
I did panic, I did run in the house thinking he was now chasing after me with a machete, and drunk off my ass I got in my car and started to dial 9-11. As I'm screaming in the phone peeling out of the parking lot, this figure runs out from the other side of the building dragging a kayak in complete panic mode. I slammed on the brakes and watched stunned as my next door neighbor (who had taken his ski mask off by this time) was hurrying to hide his kayak in his garage. I ended up hanging up on 911 and jumped out of the car to confront him. I gave him my "dead body" interpretation and he gave me his "trespassing on private property to kayak in the flooded quarry" speech. I thought I was dead, he thought he was in trouble.
Didn't take long for it to sink in that the police were probably on the way because I said somebody was dragging a dead body. Told him to go inside and I went back to my place. the 9-11 dispatcher called me back and I explained I was mistaken, but they sent PD out anyways. When I told them I was confused because I was drunk, it may have been just somebody walking in the woods they did a sweep of the area, admonished me, and were gone within an hour. I never told the dispatcher that I was in my car trying to drive away, I think it was a panicky high pitched scream of "somebody was in the woods and is coming after me now!!!" I also never told them about my neighbor and we had a good laugh about it on a few occasions while out on the patio. Guy was just trying to get some exercise on a pristine piece of water in the burbs. I moved out a few months after that but to this day I hear about it from friends and family.
Thanks to both @"TheRedneck" and @"beez" for the trip down memory lane!!
THE BIG REVEAL...
TRUTH #1
Quote:Claim 2:
As part of tradition, the graduating class in my hometown would spray paint a small slogan on the train bridge crossing the river. While halfway through "cheeched a ton..." a train came across the bridge while we were dangling 20ft above the water. The conductor (as part of normal checks) checked the bridge and found me and a friend hanging on for dear life. A chase ensued after he called the local PD, and it ended with me escaping only to come back later to find my friend in a tree hiding.
This did indeed happen as stated. The senior tradition going back decades was for the senior class to vote on a slogan to paint on the bridge. This train bridge "used" to be visible from the actual car bridge going across the river maybe 200 yards north. My best friend and I volunteered to do the actual painting. We parked at a local clinic late at night (mistake #1) and walked to the bridge to begin our painting. We had to start by painting over the previous slogan from the last graduating class. What we DIDN'T know, when we parked and ran onto the tracks an employee at that clinic was out on break and saw two young guys dressed in black running onto the train tracks. The authorities were called and they called somebody on the train going to the mill to be on the lookout (that's why he was hanging outside with a flashlight while crossing the bridge). When he saw us, he then called the police back with "yep, two punks on the bridge" and the rest is as told.
Funny tidbit, almost a year later "somebody" was in trouble for something else and ratted me out (more to come on that), to this day I have a graffiti charge on my record (I plead no contest - reasons to come).
TRUTH #2
Quote:Claim 3:
I was investigated, arrested, and ultimately convicted of delivery of a controlled substance: .351 grams of Marijuana. The flakes from a roach. Spent 6 months in jail, 5 years of probation, got kicked out of the Army, and had to give up a fabulous gun collection because of my newfound felony.
My senior year in high school I joined the Army (as planned), went through entrance in Milwaukee WI on April 27th 2001. I was in DEP to have "one last summer", my ship date to basic was supposed to be 9/11/2001 (what a trip that would've been...). Not even 3 weeks later I got a knock at my door and 3 local PD's were waiting for me. Thinking it was another complaint about the unregistered Turismo in my driveway I opened up with a shit-eating grin to say good morning. "You are under arrest for Delivery of a Controlled Substance" he said. Got pulled away in handcuffs.
Here's the low down: THE PREVIOUS SUMMER I was at a friends house partaking in some ... festivities ... as a 17-year old kid going into his Senior Year ready to put all of this behind me and straighten myself up for the Army. PFCI informant was a "friend" from out of town who had lived here for about a year (was actually brought up from out of state to investigate this Alice's Restaurant type "drug ring"). Turns out he had some pretty serious charges in another state and was a plant from day 1. One night, he's outside this "gathering" in his truck and I went to say hi. Get to the window and his new "girlfriend" (local undercover PD from another city about 3 hours away) was in the car with him. He asked for grass (I wasn't a dealer) and I told him no, "we smoked it all!". He begged for "anything" and I made a joking comment that "all I have left is this roach". He offered to buy it, so I jokingly handed him a roach and told him it's on the house. She threw me 5 dollars for my trouble and I thought "cool, I can buy a pack of smokes!".
Fast forward almost 1 year: The "investigation" concluded and snared a few "big time" dime-bag dealers (who probably netted about 100 bucks each that summer). I was one. I will share some pictures of the "8x10 glossy photos with a description on the back" Arlo Guthrie stuff one day. But there I was, sitting charged with delivery of .6 grams of Marijuana, a Felony with a mandatory minimum of 6 months in jail. (.351 was the actual Marijuana weight once the State Crime Lab tore the zig zag paper off...).
I fought it in court for almost 1.5 years (public defenders were all I could do), reached out to NORML for help (was turned down as the case was "cut and dry"), I tried everything. I had another pre-trial conference scheduled for 11/2002 at 10:30am. I lived in Milwaukee at the time so my "home town" was about 5 hours away. Drove up and arrived at 10am, District Attorney, 2 deputies, and my Public Defender were all there waiting for me. The charge? Felony Bail Jumping. My signature bond that I signed in 5/2001 said I was supposed to confirm day / time with the court within 72 hours. They changed my court time to 9:30 and I never got the letter. Since I didn't confirm, and I was 30 minutes late, I did not meet the conditions of my bond. I was sat down and given two choices:
Plead No Contest to the Felony Marijuana charge and they will drop the Bail Jumping charge (which carried a max of 10 years...) I would serve 6 months in jail and probation.
Or:
Continue to fight the Marijuana charge and also have a Felony Bail Jumping charge to contend with. Both added up could have been a max of like 14 years (and a minimum of 1 year)
I gave up. Shaking and ready to just lash out, I signed the plea deal. That brought end to my fight. I went to county jail for the next 6 months and got a job at a factory. My friends all shipped off to basic, and while I was in jail winter / spring of 2002 / 2003 I watched them get called to Iraq for the invasion, and there I was in an orange jump suit making cribbage boards and chess pieces out of broken combs and toilet paper / tooth paste mixtures. While in jail I stopped fighting the graffiti charge as well, plead no contest and paid the fine. I didn't implicate my friend (although they pressed) because he was sticking his head out of Humvee with a gun in hand on the other side of the world. When he got out, I liked to rub it in that I "took the fall" for painting the bridge. We were drunk and playing pool one night, the bet was that if I lost I could never bring up the stupid "taking the fall" story again. I lost, haven't brought it up since.
THE LIE!!!
Quote:Claim 1:
I was on the phone with my ex-ex, and I heard a somebody dragging a dead body through the woods behind my house. He caught me watching as his face peered from the treeline. I was a bottle + in on the wine at the time so my panicking attempt at a getaway in my car was not a good idea, but it worked. I ended up catching my neighbor red handed trying to hide the evidence and it resulted in a very long and drunk night with detectives.
I was on the phone with my ex-ex, and I did hear some ruckus in the treeline. It was coming towards me and really was "step step draaag". I joked with her that "sounds like somebody dragging a body" but I got alarmed when it got closer and louder. I was whispering to her "oh my god! I'm not kidding" and then it stopped... I scanned the treeline and saw a 6' male dressed in cammo with a black ski-mask (one of those neoprene ones) just staring at me.
I did panic, I did run in the house thinking he was now chasing after me with a machete, and drunk off my ass I got in my car and started to dial 9-11. As I'm screaming in the phone peeling out of the parking lot, this figure runs out from the other side of the building dragging a kayak in complete panic mode. I slammed on the brakes and watched stunned as my next door neighbor (who had taken his ski mask off by this time) was hurrying to hide his kayak in his garage. I ended up hanging up on 911 and jumped out of the car to confront him. I gave him my "dead body" interpretation and he gave me his "trespassing on private property to kayak in the flooded quarry" speech. I thought I was dead, he thought he was in trouble.
Didn't take long for it to sink in that the police were probably on the way because I said somebody was dragging a dead body. Told him to go inside and I went back to my place. the 9-11 dispatcher called me back and I explained I was mistaken, but they sent PD out anyways. When I told them I was confused because I was drunk, it may have been just somebody walking in the woods they did a sweep of the area, admonished me, and were gone within an hour. I never told the dispatcher that I was in my car trying to drive away, I think it was a panicky high pitched scream of "somebody was in the woods and is coming after me now!!!" I also never told them about my neighbor and we had a good laugh about it on a few occasions while out on the patio. Guy was just trying to get some exercise on a pristine piece of water in the burbs. I moved out a few months after that but to this day I hear about it from friends and family.
So that's it folks!
I'm more than happy to answer any followups on the two truths, I still have all of my court papers in a box because on more than one occasion I've had to break them out to prove it wasn't made up. I show them the description from the Informant who said "Mr xxx spit onto the curb and said his spit looked like marshmallows after taking the $5", the 8x10 glossy photos of the wads of marked bills given to the CI to purchase the pot, and the other 30+ pages of investigative documents that justified state funding for our local PD for a solid year...
@sol - take it from here as I'm not sure protocol (being a new game and all)
@TheRedneck and @beez - thank you both for participating!
I thought I was going to get busted by @IAMTAT for a question posed about "how did they die" for claim #1. Thankfully I didn't have to answer, but @sol did clarify the rules for me once the game had ended. I was under the impression I had to answer truthfully to the "lie" as well, so I did my best to skate around the issue with a few of the answers. But it turns out I could've lied through my teeth 100% and made up some axe-murder story! Ah well, now I know!!!