We Must Tackle Climate Change

[Mystic Wanderer]

 

America enjoys a winter filled with tons of snow and frigid cold weather and out pops the Climate Hoaxsters to assure this kind of weather only further proves our planet is getting, uhm… warmer.

This current Climate Hoaxster freak out is largely in reaction to President Trump’s tweet earlier this week mocking the Climate Hoaxsters.

“In the beautiful Midwest, windchill temperatures are reaching minus 60 degrees, the coldest ever recorded,” he tweeted. “What the hell is going on with Global Warming? Please come back fast, we need you!”

Naturally, this launched a million reactionary headlines from our oh-so objective, unbiased, not-at-all left-wing media.
“Look at This Embarrassing F*cking Moron,” screamed Esquire.
“Debunking the utter idiocy of Donald Trump’s global warming tweet,” pouted CNN.
“Here’s Why the Crazy Cold Temperatures Prove Global Warming is Real,” Forbes says reassuringly.
“What Trump keeps getting wrong about Global Warming,” the Washington Post helpfully reports.

But here is my personal favorite headline from, where else?, NBC News…. “Yes, it can be this cold outside in a time of global warming.”

There are three Party slogans in George Orwell’s 1984, his masterpiece about an all-controlling centralized government that runs on lies, terror, and propaganda. See if you can pick out which Party slogan I invented among the four:

• War is Peace
  
• Freedom is Slavery
  
• Ignorance is Strength
  
• Frigid Weather Means Our Planet is Getting Warmer
  
  

The Climate Hoaxsters say that this run of cold weather does not mean the planet will not warm over the course of years, which would sound reasonable if these were not the same Climate Hoaxters who told us Global Warming meant the “end of snow,” or that this winter would be “warmer-than-average,” or that a run of warm weather last winter proved the planet is warming.

That last example is interesting, no?

You see, last year our Climate Hucksters told us a run of warm weather proved the planet is warming, which means we all have to give up our freedoms to a centralized government in order to save the planet. BUT… a run of frigid weather this year also proves the planet is warming and we all have to give up our freedoms to a centralized government in order to save the planet.

So no matter what happens, no matter how cold or warm or temperate it is, everything proves Global Warming is fer real.

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