Welcome to West Virginia - Please Exercise Caution

[Ninurta]

Apparently, there has been an influx of furriner ("furriner" is a hill folk term designating anyone not from the Appalachians. For example, a new Yorker or Californian is every bit as "furrin" as the lowliest illegal alien still wet across the shoulders from his Rio Grande trek) refugees into WV from large urban centers as they attempt to escape their sinking ships.

Apparently in alarm at the influx of refugees fleeing communist strongholds who will doubtless attempt to turn West Virginia into a carbon copy of the shitholes they are fleeing from, both my brother and my daughter in law have posted to following to their social media account in order to give fair warning:

WEST VIRGINIA CAUTION:

In regards to all the people wanting to move here from New York and California as well as many other heavily populated cities across the country, and for those just wanting to come to visit:

Before you come to West Virginia you must be aware and understand what exactly is happening here. Especially around the rural and all of middle West Virginia. There's a housing shortage, rent has tripled, and folks are vacationing here in record numbers...

So, if you plan on moving here, or just plan on vacationing in our river bottoms, hill country, mountains or lakes this summer, I think you should know that wolf spiders, fire ants and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to dryer than usual weather. The woods will eat you alive with ticks and chiggers.

Our lakes are full of gators, fresh water sharks, and creepy old guys wearing speedos along with huge bald eagles that are known to snatch small children and animals.

Our rivers are full of drunks in tubes peeing themselves while the banjo players lay waiting in the bushes.

Appalachian panthers have eaten many domesticated animals and possibly some small children.

The local bear and coyote population are all 'in heat' and think your wife/girlfriend is hot.

Snakes... don’t even get me started on the water headed copper moccasins here, and the Diamond Back Rattler Cobras.

The poison ivy, sumac and poison oak have overtaken all other vegetation. This plants can cause extreme diarrhea and uncontrollable vomiting.

We have had bear sightings at every park and town and they are after your picnic baskets….and some cougars have been spotted in motel rooms and bars.

Watch out for the jackalopes, they have been extremely aggressive this season.

We have silverback gorillas invading our parks and it’s their mating season. Porcupines are "stabbing" small children should they dare to utilize the local playground equipment.

Skunks have made their way over and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs looking for beer.

Murder hornets!?! We’ve got great black clouds of murder hornets, and swarms of giant crickets and even some west African grasshoppers that spit Skoal wintergreen.

Scorpions have now migrated here and have been congregating in massive quantities under rocks, logs, wooden steps, automobiles, and tarantulas are now stealing peoples food and biting like crazy.

I’m pretty sure all private tiger owners (we had a jump in them after Tiger King debuted on Netflix) have released their cats into the streets of our cities and towns.

Head lice now fly and we have vampire bats and don’t even try and forget about the Moth man! Glowing eyes and wings like a scene out of Jeepers Creepers!

Oh, and no one is vaccinated.

I hear Kentucky and Ohio are really nice though.

.

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

Apparently, there has been an influx of furriner ("furriner" is a hill folk term designating anyone not from the Appalachians. For example, a new Yorker or Californian is every bit as "furrin" as the lowliest illegal alien still wet across the shoulders from his Rio Grande trek) refugees into WV from large urban centers as they attempt to escape their sinking ships.

Apparently in alarm at the influx of refugees fleeing communist strongholds who will doubtless attempt to turn West Virginia into a carbon copy of the shitholes they are fleeing from, both my brother and my daughter in law have posted to following to their social media account in order to give fair warning:

WEST VIRGINIA CAUTION:

In regards to all the people wanting to move here from New York and California as well as many other heavily populated cities across the country, and for those just wanting to come to visit:

Before you come to West Virginia you must be aware and understand what exactly is happening here. Especially around the rural and all of middle West Virginia. There's a housing shortage, rent has tripled, and folks are vacationing here in record numbers...

So, if you plan on moving here, or just plan on vacationing in our river bottoms, hill country, mountains or lakes this summer, I think you should know that wolf spiders, fire ants and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to dryer than usual weather. The woods will eat you alive with ticks and chiggers.

Our lakes are full of gators, fresh water sharks, and creepy old guys wearing speedos along with huge bald eagles that are known to snatch small children and animals.

Our rivers are full of drunks in tubes peeing themselves while the banjo players lay waiting in the bushes.

Appalachian panthers have eaten many domesticated animals and possibly some small children.

The local bear and coyote population are all 'in heat' and think your wife/girlfriend is hot.

Snakes... don’t even get me started on the water headed copper moccasins here, and the Diamond Back Rattler Cobras.

The poison ivy, sumac and poison oak have overtaken all other vegetation. This plants can cause extreme diarrhea and uncontrollable vomiting.

We have had bear sightings at every park and town and they are after your picnic baskets….and some cougars have been spotted in motel rooms and bars.

Watch out for the jackalopes, they have been extremely aggressive this season.

We have silverback gorillas invading our parks and it’s their mating season. Porcupines are "stabbing" small children should they dare to utilize the local playground equipment.

Skunks have made their way over and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs looking for beer.

Murder hornets!?! We’ve got great black clouds of murder hornets, and swarms of giant crickets and even some west African grasshoppers that spit Skoal wintergreen.

Scorpions have now migrated here and have been congregating in massive quantities under rocks, logs, wooden steps, automobiles, and tarantulas are now stealing peoples food and biting like crazy.

I’m pretty sure all private tiger owners (we had a jump in them after Tiger King debuted on Netflix) have released their cats into the streets of our cities and towns.

Head lice now fly and we have vampire bats and don’t even try and forget about the Moth man! Glowing eyes and wings like a scene out of Jeepers Creepers!

Oh, and no one is vaccinated.

I hear Kentucky and Ohio are really nice though.

.

Dear God in heaven.

I wrote a similar post over at TOS a long while back. I was fairly new to the site at the time, but boy did I get my behind handed to me. I was attacked from so many angles that it was obvious that the intended humor was completely lost to those at the site.

I hope her post isn't as poorly received as mine was.

[Ninurta]

Dear God in heaven.

I wrote a similar post over at TOS a long while back. I was fairly new to the site at the time, but boy did I get my behind handed to me. I was attacked from so many angles that it was obvious that the intended humor was completely lost to those at the site.

I hope her post isn't as poorly received as mine was.

Won't matter to her how it's received - she's hillfolk, and we care even less than Honey Badger!

She got one response along the lines of "I see what you're trying to do there", to which she responded "Good!"

 

.

[Snarl]

... fair warning:

I hear Kentucky and Ohio are really nice though.

I wrote a similar post over at TOS a long while back.

Kentucky's full of bedbugs ... the hungry ones.

As for TOS ... 

[kdog]

Don't send them to Kentucky. We have hidden cave systems here harboring all kinds of critters and cryptoids . You wander to far of the trail, you are most likely going to be suicided by sasquatch.

[ABNARTY]

And don't forget Mountain Monsters. 

Apparently West 'By God' Virginia is home to more monsters than you can shake a stick at. They got teams of specialists running around 24/7 just trying to contain them.

[Servovenford]

I live in West Virginia. Chiggers are real.
And

Don't forget the moth man



Dear "big city folk".. thanks for the tourist change $. Now go home and take your "big city folk votes" with you.

[EndtheMadnessNow]

Apparently, there has been an influx of furriner ("furriner" is a hill folk term designating anyone not from the Appalachians. For example, a new Yorker or Californian is every bit as "furrin" as the lowliest illegal alien still wet across the shoulders from his Rio Grande trek) refugees into WV from large urban centers as they attempt to escape their sinking ships.

Apparently in alarm at the influx of refugees fleeing communist strongholds who will doubtless attempt to turn West Virginia into a carbon copy of the shitholes they are fleeing from, both my brother and my daughter in law have posted to following to their social media account in order to give fair warning:

LMAO! Good one!!  Doesn't WV have a large Gypsy population?


Speaking of hill people...

[Ninurta]

And don't forget Mountain Monsters. 

Apparently West 'By God' Virginia is home to more monsters than you can shake a stick at. They got teams of specialists running around 24/7 just trying to contain them.

It was at a location in West Virginia where I had my run-in with a Bigfoot all those years ago.

It was also in West Virginia, not far from the site of the Bigfoot encounter, that I was walking home one night along a road that ran along a ridge top, and I saw in the woods on the slope under the ridge two big red glowing things, about 2 feet in diameter each, and separated by about a 5 foot distance center to center that looked an awful lot like eyes to me. No idea what it really was, as I never investigated and never saw it again. I just picked up the pace and got my ass back home.

There's things  in them woods!


.

[Ninurta]

I live in West Virginia. Chiggers are real.
And

Don't forget the moth man



Dear "big city folk".. thanks for the tourist change $. Now go home and take your "big city folk votes" with you.

Half of my family is from West Virginia, and has been there since at least 1763 when my 7-greats-back grand dad, a fella named Adam O'Brien, took up residence in a hollow sycamore in what later became Central WV for about a year to avoid some pesky lawman types, one of the first, if not THE first, white men to break brush there. At that time, he was ignoring the king's order from the Proclamation of 1763 that made it illegal for white folk to enter the Indian lands west of the proclamation line.

My son still lives in WV, towards the eastern panhandle, and has something on his land that leaves what appear to be axe cuts, horizontal slices or deep scratches, about 8 feet off the ground on some of his trees.

 

.

[Ninurta]

Apparently, there has been an influx of furriner ("furriner" is a hill folk term designating anyone not from the Appalachians. For example, a new Yorker or Californian is every bit as "furrin" as the lowliest illegal alien still wet across the shoulders from his Rio Grande trek) refugees into WV from large urban centers as they attempt to escape their sinking ships.

Apparently in alarm at the influx of refugees fleeing communist strongholds who will doubtless attempt to turn West Virginia into a carbon copy of the shitholes they are fleeing from, both my brother and my daughter in law have posted to following to their social media account in order to give fair warning:

LMAO! Good one!!  Doesn't WV have a large Gypsy population?


Speaking of hill people...

I didn't know Joe Biden could play the banjo, but that is clearly Joe Biden on that banjo!


.

[EndtheMadnessNow]

I didn't know Joe Biden could play the banjo, but that is clearly Joe Biden on that banjo!

.

LOL. Yes.

[BIAD]

... one of the first, if not THE first, white men to break brush there. At that time, he was ignoring the king's order
from the Proclamation of 1763 that made it illegal for white folk to enter the Indian lands west of the proclamation line.

 

How dare they?!!
A King's Order and it's just ignored?! We (Limeys) invented tea and umbrellas, you know?


(Secretly, we Loved West Virginia when we visited!)

[Ninurta]

... one of the first, if not THE first, white men to break brush there. At that time, he was ignoring the king's order
from the Proclamation of 1763 that made it illegal for white folk to enter the Indian lands west of the proclamation line.

 

How dare they?!!
A King's Order and it's just ignored?! We (Limeys) invented tea and umbrellas, you know?


(Secretly, we Loved West Virginia when we visited!)

Well, Adam O'Brien was of that roguish Irish stock. so the King really should have seen that one coming...

Irishmen! Ya just can't do nothin' with 'em!

There was a 4 page writeup about a meeting with him in an 1835 edition of the Southern Literary Messenger where he was quoted as saying something along the lines of how he'd rather take his chances with the wild panthers and Indians than Justices and sheriffs, who "for all their civility have no natural feeling". He was with Mike Fink when Mr. Fink and an Indian killed one another somewhere around Orma WV I think. The graves are still there and still maintained.

At the time of the meeting that was written up (which occurred at a road house named "Gandy's"), he was walking to Clarksburg from his home, a distance of about 125 miles, to "ferret out a land title" and he was, as I recall, about 94 or 96 years old at the time. Just him and his hound, out for a long walk to retrieve a piece pf paper. His oldest child at that time was 67, and his youngest was 1. He had 18 kids by 4 wives, and didn't always bother to divorce one before he married the next. I reckon he was something of a character, and died at 109 years old.

One of his wives  is listed on Col. Bouquet's list of captives retrieved from the Shawnees in 1765. According to the pay ledgers from Dunmore's War in 1774, he enlisted at Romney, VA (WV) and was paid for 132 days service in that war at the rate of 2s 6d per day, which was the pay rate for both sergeants and scouts. The pay rolls do not say which he was.


.

[Brotherman]

Dear God in heaven.

I wrote a similar post over at TOS a long while back. I was fairly new to the site at the time, but boy did I get my behind handed to me. I was attacked from so many angles that it was obvious that the intended humor was completely lost to those at the site.

I hope her post isn't as poorly received as mine was.

Won't matter to her how it's received - she's hillfolk, and we care even less than Honey Badger!

She got one response along the lines of "I see what you're trying to do there", to which she responded "Good!"

 

.

You said honey badger and fuck now Im here don't know how I got here but here I am.

[BIAD]

...He was with Mike Fink when Mr. Fink and an Indian killed one another somewhere around Orma WV I think.
The graves are still there and still maintained...

[Ninurta]

...He was with Mike Fink when Mr. Fink and an Indian killed one another somewhere around Orma WV I think.
The graves are still there and still maintained...

Yup, that's the grave. It's around 6 miles south of where my dad was raised. O'Brien came back with a burial party, and they buried them where they fell. As the image shows, the graves are still maintained, and the headstone is a modern one.

The area was not very heavily settled until around 1810 and afterwards, 30 years after the fight in the wilderness, when the initial settlers arrived like Peter McCune (O'Brien's son in law and exploration partner) and several others, some of whom were harbingers of encroaching civilization  like a tanner and cobbler named Felix Norman.

Most accounts say that O'Brien lived to the age of about 109, and died at his home just south of Spencer, WV, which is now in Roane County, but back then was still in Kanawha County. This grave is several miles east in what is now Calhoun County.

Mike Fink was a riverman, working on the flatboats that went down the Ohio river. They cobbled the boats together out of lumber at Fort Pitt, now Pittsburg PA, and used them to haul furs and produce to New Orleans, in Louisiana, by river. In New Orleans, they would sell the cargo, disassemble the boat and sell it for lumber, and then return north overland. There are a lot of tall tales about Mike Fink from those days, but this grave is the final resting place of a legend.

In the middle of nowhere.

The story of Mike Fink's death is a cautionary tale - in an era of single shot weapons that are slow to reload, carry more than one, because you may run into more opposition than one shot can kill.

.

[EndtheMadnessNow]

...He was with Mike Fink when Mr. Fink and an Indian killed one another somewhere around Orma WV I think.
The graves are still there and still maintained...

Yup, that's the grave. It's around 6 miles south of where my dad was raised. O'Brien came back with a burial party, and they buried them where they fell. As the image shows, the graves are still maintained, and the headstone is a modern one.

The area was not very heavily settled until around 1810 and afterwards, 30 years after the fight in the wilderness, when the initial settlers arrived like Peter McCune (O'Brien's son in law and exploration partner) and several others, some of whom were harbingers of encroaching civilization  like a tanner and cobbler named Felix Norman.

Most accounts say that O'Brien lived to the age of about 109, and died at his home just south of Spencer, WV, which is now in Roane County, but back then was still in Kanawha County. This grave is several miles east in what is now Calhoun County.

Mike Fink was a riverman, working on the flatboats that went down the Ohio river. They cobbled the boats together out of lumber at Fort Pitt, now Pittsburg PA, and used them to haul furs and produce to New Orleans, in Louisiana, by river. In New Orleans, they would sell the cargo, disassemble the boat and sell it for lumber, and then return north overland. There are a lot of tall tales about Mike Fink from those days, but this grave is the final resting place of a legend.

In the middle of nowhere.

The story of Mike Fink's death is a cautionary tale - in an era of single shot weapons that are slow to reload, carry more than one, because you may run into more opposition than one shot can kill.

.

Please tell me no relation to Larry Fink of BlackRock.  

[Ninurta]

Please tell me no relation to Larry Fink of BlackRock.  

I dunno, man. it was 252 years ago when he was killed, and 252 years can bring out a lot of generations scattered all over the globe.

That's roughly 10 generations ago. 40 generations ago, I have Ragnar Lodbrok in my tree in at least two branches, one through Ivar the Boneless, and one through Bjorn Ironside.

England can blame me for The Great Heathen Army and the death of King Edmund the Martyr... and king Aille, King of Northumbria, I think, . Let's not forget the dumbass that got blood-eagled for screwing around with the wrong damned Dane...





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