Quote:[b]1.[/b] Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 

2.  Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?


[b]3.[/b] If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? 


[b]4.[/b] If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? 


[b]6.[/b] Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? 

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

[b]8.[/b] Why do "tug" boats push their barges? 

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting? 


[b]11.[/b] Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"? 

12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13... Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites? 


[b]14. [/b]Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?


[b]18.[/b] If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21... Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control  when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word? 


[b]24. [/b]Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

27. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
 
 
28.  Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? I dunno, why do we?

Quote:21...

Quote: Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control  when you know the batteries are dead?

?  

(08-12-2016, 03:54 AM)senona Wrote:

Quote:21...

Quote: Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control  when you know the batteries are dead?

LMAO....yes, indeed
Gee, why is that I wonder?  

(08-12-2016, 08:47 AM)BIAD Wrote: Even worse, why do we take the batteries out of the remote, rub them and then
put them back in believing that one's tactile manipulation will magically endow them
with a little-more power?!

 ... and sometimes it works!

(08-12-2016, 09:15 AM)gordi Wrote: Then take one step further! Find the exact point at which your remote WON'T work.

Now stare at your car.... and place the keyfob to the side of your head (as if you were "shooting" yourself with it)
and operate the keyfob whilst it's pointing at your temple... Your remote WILL WORK!

(Now you will try it again.... just to make sure!!! ROFL)

(08-12-2016, 10:22 AM)BIAD Wrote:
Do you have any idea about the damage you've caused between my wife -(Driver) and me -(Grateful Passenger)?!

I asked her to try it and after explaining to a couple of puzzled on-looking neighbours and standing red-faced
in front of my Missus as she ripped me a new one about the suggestion, I seriously expect that I will be sleeping
in BIAD's shed tonight.


Oh... er, I've just found out that she was actually ridiculing me for my lack of knowledge
regarding vehicles! My wife stood there, did as you suggested and placed the keys next to
her forehead and the locking mechanism... didn't work.

After enduring being told-off about the idea, I have now learned that our car doesn't use a key-fob
locking system and the thing she held to her noggin was just a leather 'Isle Of Man' souvenir fob.
The door opens with a conventional key, it appears.

I must pay more attention to reality.

(08-12-2016, 12:42 PM)gordi Wrote: (pssst: next time slip one of those mini-tasers onto the fob? PICS or it didn't happen!!!!)