I just got back from the hospital ER. Earlier this evening, the nursing home called me and told me they were doing CPR on my husband. I felt my world crash around me. They mentioned the hospital he usually goes to and asked me if I wanted him transported there. I said yes. She then stated that they got his heart going again and the paramedics were loading him up to go to the hospital. She asked if I was alone. I told her I was, and she asked if there was anyone that could drive me to the hospital as she didn't want me driving. I called my parents. They came and got me and took me to the hospital. I was borderline hysterical when I got to the ER. When I checked in, they told me he was stable and conscious, and they were doing tests. They said someone would come talk to me and then I could see him.

Everyone there was so nice. I talked to a social worker and a couple of nurses. Then I got to see him for a little bit. He was awake and aware. I told him how much I love him, and to be strong. I told him they would be admitting him, and that I would come back first thing in the morning. He nodded and smiled. The nurse updated me. The chest x-ray indicated he has double pneumonia. She also said his white blood cell count was elevated. I replied that the nursing home told me he had a UTI, which they have him on Cipro for, and congestive heart failure, which they have him on a diuretic for. She replied that the nursing home neither told the hospital nor the paramedics that. She thanked me for that. I was shocked that the nursing home did not give them that information. Good thing I told her. A couple of days ago, the nursing home actually told me he did not have pneumonia. No wonder he went into cardiac arrest. Double pneumonia, a UTI, and congestive heart failure. I'm so glad they pulled him from the brink. 

He will be admitted. I decided to go back home, as they assured me they would take care of him being admitted and they have my contact info if they need to reach me. My husband was so tired. I'm still a mess, and I don't think I will be getting any sleep, but will at least try and lie down for a while. Please keep him in your prayers. Thanks.

Keeping you both in my thoughts.

Sending strength your way Chief.

If you feel like you need to talk, we are here.

(10-23-2022, 04:09 AM)ChiefD Wrote: I just got back from the hospital ER. Earlier this evening, the nursing home called me and told me they were doing CPR on my husband. I felt my world crash around me. They mentioned the hospital he usually goes to and asked me if I wanted him transported there. I said yes. She then stated that they got his heart going again and the paramedics were loading him up to go to the hospital. She asked if I was alone. I told her I was, and she asked if there was anyone that could drive me to the hospital as she didn't want me driving. I called my parents. They came and got me and took me to the hospital. I was borderline hysterical when I got to the ER. When I checked in, they told me he was stable and conscious, and they were doing tests. They said someone would come talk to me and then I could see him.

Everyone there was so nice. I talked to a social worker and a couple of nurses. Then I got to see him for a little bit. He was awake and aware. I told him how much I love him, and to be strong. I told him they would be admitting him, and that I would come back first thing in the morning. He nodded and smiled. The nurse updated me. The chest x-ray indicated he has double pneumonia. She also said his white blood cell count was elevated. I replied that the nursing home told me he had a UTI, which they have him on Cipro for, and congestive heart failure, which they have him on a diuretic for. She replied that the nursing home neither told the hospital nor the paramedics that. She thanked me for that. I was shocked that the nursing home did not give them that information. Good thing I told her. A couple of days ago, the nursing home actually told me he did not have pneumonia. No wonder he went into cardiac arrest. Double pneumonia, a UTI, and congestive heart failure. I'm so glad they pulled him from the brink. 

He will be admitted. I decided to go back home, as they assured me they would take care of him being admitted and they have my contact info if they need to reach me. My husband was so tired. I'm still a mess, and I don't think I will be getting any sleep, but will at least try and lie down for a while. Please keep him in your prayers. Thanks.

I have been following your struggles with your husbands failing health a while, it sounds very exhausting and stressful.
Don't forget to take care of yourself as well. Your husband is in good hands, but you should also prepare for the worst.
If you can get help with certain tasks , ask those around you to help where they can . 
You will be okay in the end. Take it one day and one breath at a time 
Hugs & strength 

(10-23-2022, 07:41 AM)ancientlight Wrote: I have been following your struggles with your husbands failing health a while, it sounds very exhausting and stressful.

It really does. To say the least :(

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers..

(10-23-2022, 04:09 AM)ChiefD Wrote: I just got back from the hospital ER. Earlier this evening, the nursing home called me and told me they were doing CPR on my husband. I felt my world crash around me. They mentioned the hospital he usually goes to and asked me if I wanted him transported there. I said yes. She then stated that they got his heart going again and the paramedics were loading him up to go to the hospital. She asked if I was alone. I told her I was, and she asked if there was anyone that could drive me to the hospital as she didn't want me driving. I called my parents. They came and got me and took me to the hospital. I was borderline hysterical when I got to the ER. When I checked in, they told me he was stable and conscious, and they were doing tests. They said someone would come talk to me and then I could see him.

Everyone there was so nice. I talked to a social worker and a couple of nurses. Then I got to see him for a little bit. He was awake and aware. I told him how much I love him, and to be strong. I told him they would be admitting him, and that I would come back first thing in the morning. He nodded and smiled. The nurse updated me. The chest x-ray indicated he has double pneumonia. She also said his white blood cell count was elevated. I replied that the nursing home told me he had a UTI, which they have him on Cipro for, and congestive heart failure, which they have him on a diuretic for. She replied that the nursing home neither told the hospital nor the paramedics that. She thanked me for that. I was shocked that the nursing home did not give them that information. Good thing I told her. A couple of days ago, the nursing home actually told me he did not have pneumonia. No wonder he went into cardiac arrest. Double pneumonia, a UTI, and congestive heart failure. I'm so glad they pulled him from the brink. 

He will be admitted. I decided to go back home, as they assured me they would take care of him being admitted and they have my contact info if they need to reach me. My husband was so tired. I'm still a mess, and I don't think I will be getting any sleep, but will at least try and lie down for a while. Please keep him in your prayers. Thanks.

Thinking of and praying for your husband and you too, make sure you take good care of yourself during this too

How are you doing there, ChiefD?

Must be really hard.

Prayers sent for you and your husband! Hopefully somebody is listening. 

(10-23-2022, 05:14 PM)GeauxHomeLittleD Wrote: Prayers sent for you and your husband! Hopefully somebody is listening. 

I know this heroin user Lady from Australia.

She says that God is an abusive alcoholic. I dunno it is a rough thing to say, but starts to make sense somehow.

Tell kdog to come for bong hits. I know you have a teleport in the basement.

(10-23-2022, 04:09 AM)ChiefD Wrote: He will be admitted. I decided to go back home, as they assured me they would take care of him being admitted and they have my contact info if they need to reach me. My husband was so tired. I'm still a mess, and I don't think I will be getting any sleep, but will at least try and lie down for a while. Please keep him in your prayers. Thanks.

I am sorry that your husband is having medical difficulties. It is so very hard to go through this when you have almost no control over what ìs happening.

The nursing home provides the ER with a copy of the patient's medication record. The ER may not have a supporting diagnosis for each of his medications, but they should know the medications he is taking.

I know these are very difficult times for you. I pray for peace for you and your husband.

Thank you so much for your kind replies and prayers. I greatly appreciate it. 

Regarding an update, I have some bad news. Ron's heart and lungs are failing. He is struggling to breathe even with the bipap going full throttle. It's obvious to the doctors, nurses, and me that he is suffering. The main doctor told me that without the bipap helping him to breathe, he will die. He told me as gently as he could that the he cannot stay on a bipap indefinitely. The nursing home wouldn't take him back like that anyway. They could do a tracheotomy, but that would be quite invasive, and the doctor told me he wouldn't likely survive the surgery. And his quality of life and comfort would be gone. As it is, seeing him struggle to breathe is one of the most gut wrenching things I've ever seen in my life. The doctor stated his chances of recovery are very low. Even if he did fully recover, his heart is starting to fail too. There is a good chance that he will go into cardiac arrest again. I changed things to DNR and they put a bracelet on him. Trying to do CPR on him again would do him more harm than good. 

He was awake and conscious, and I could tell he was agitated. I told him how much I love him, and that I would do everything I can to make sure he's comfortable. The doctor told me that there is an option to take him off the bipap, give him some meds to relax him, and then I can say my final goodbyes and he would just go to sleep permanently. I feel this is a humane thing to do, as much as I know in my heart after talking to a couple of doctors and a chaplain that he is declining. I'm going to take a couple of days at the most so I can get things in order. I've already talked to someone at the funeral home where I did pre planning on his funeral. He will be cremated and have full military honors. He will be buried at the veterans cemetery in King, WI. I actually got the approval letter from the military cemetery today. 

They did a CT scan on him earlier this afternoon, after I had left and gone back home. I'm waiting to hear from the doctor on that. They think he has a large blood clot on his lung, a PE. The pulmonary doctor echoed what the main doctor said, that if this is the case, the options could be risky and make the blood clot burst, which would kill him. So I'm waiting on those results and praying for a miracle, but I don't think there will be a miracle. I called and talked to Ron's daughter and son-in-law who live in Kansas. They are going to make a 10 hour drive to the hospital to see him. They will be here Monday night. I hope Ron can hold on until Tuesday. Once Tuesday comes, I will be making the decision and get things set up. I just don't want to prolong his suffering. I can't do that to him. This is horrific for me, and I'm a complete mess right now. But I am determined to take action by Monday or Tuesday. 

I know he's going to Heaven. He will be reunited with his Mom, Dad, and brother, and friends he made while in the Navy. I will think about that when I feel like I want to lay down and die. I won't lay down and die. I will keep on and honor his final wishes. It's the least I can do.

(10-23-2022, 09:35 PM)ChiefD Wrote: Thank you so much for your kind replies and prayers. I greatly appreciate it. 

Regarding an update, I have some bad news. Ron's heart and lungs are failing. He is struggling to breathe even with the bipap going full throttle. It's obvious to the doctors, nurses, and me that he is suffering. The main doctor told me that without the bipap helping him to breathe, he will die. He told me as gently as he could that the he cannot stay on a bipap indefinitely. The nursing home wouldn't take him back like that anyway. They could do a tracheotomy, but that would be quite invasive, and the doctor told me he wouldn't likely survive the surgery. And his quality of life and comfort would be gone. As it is, seeing him struggle to breathe is one of the most gut wrenching things I've ever seen in my life. The doctor stated his chances of recovery are very low. Even if he did fully recover, his heart is starting to fail too. There is a good chance that he will go into cardiac arrest again. I changed things to DNR and they put a bracelet on him. Trying to do CPR on him again would do him more harm than good. 

He was awake and conscious, and I could tell he was agitated. I told him how much I love him, and that I would do everything I can to make sure he's comfortable. The doctor told me that there is an option to take him off the bipap, give him some meds to relax him, and then I can say my final goodbyes and he would just go to sleep permanently. I feel this is a humane thing to do, as much as I know in my heart after talking to a couple of doctors and a chaplain that he is declining. I'm going to take a couple of days at the most so I can get things in order. I've already talked to someone at the funeral home where I did pre planning on his funeral. He will be cremated and have full military honors. He will be buried at the veterans cemetery in King, WI. I actually got the approval letter from the military cemetery today. 

They did a CT scan on him earlier this afternoon, after I had left and gone back home. I'm waiting to hear from the doctor on that. They think he has a large blood clot on his lung, a PE. The pulmonary doctor echoed what the main doctor said, that if this is the case, the options could be risky and make the blood clot burst, which would kill him. So I'm waiting on those results and praying for a miracle, but I don't think there will be a miracle. I called and talked to Ron's daughter and son-in-law who live in Kansas. They are going to make a 10 hour drive to the hospital to see him. They will be here Monday night. I hope Ron can hold on until Tuesday. Once Tuesday comes, I will be making the decision and get things set up. I just don't want to prolong his suffering. I can't do that to him. This is horrific for me, and I'm a complete mess right now. But I am determined to take action by Monday or Tuesday. 

I know he's going to Heaven. He will be reunited with his Mom, Dad, and brother, and friends he made while in the Navy. I will think about that when I feel like I want to lay down and die. I won't lay down and die. I will keep on and honor his final wishes. It's the least I can do.

Oh no :(

This would be the exact moment i would like to come up with something beautiful and comforting to say. But i do not really think that there are words, for moments like this.

I have fucking drank and smoked heavily for 3 days now, in order to escape from reality.

Now we have people here watching their husband die.

Had enough. Unable to cope.

Good night, going to bed now.

(10-23-2022, 09:52 PM)Finspiracy Wrote: I have fucking drank and smoked heavily for 3 days now, in order to escape from reality.

Now we have people here watching their husband die.

Had enough. Unable to cope.

Good night, going to bed now.

I'm worried about you too, Fin. I'll say a prayer for you. G'night and take care.

(10-23-2022, 09:35 PM)ChiefD Wrote: Thank you so much for your kind replies and prayers. I greatly appreciate it. 

Regarding an update, I have some bad news. Ron's heart and lungs are failing. He is struggling to breathe even with the bipap going full throttle. It's obvious to the doctors, nurses, and me that he is suffering. The main doctor told me that without the bipap helping him to breathe, he will die. He told me as gently as he could that the he cannot stay on a bipap indefinitely. The nursing home wouldn't take him back like that anyway. They could do a tracheotomy, but that would be quite invasive, and the doctor told me he wouldn't likely survive the surgery. And his quality of life and comfort would be gone. As it is, seeing him struggle to breathe is one of the most gut wrenching things I've ever seen in my life. The doctor stated his chances of recovery are very low. Even if he did fully recover, his heart is starting to fail too. There is a good chance that he will go into cardiac arrest again. I changed things to DNR and they put a bracelet on him. Trying to do CPR on him again would do him more harm than good. 

He was awake and conscious, and I could tell he was agitated. I told him how much I love him, and that I would do everything I can to make sure he's comfortable. The doctor told me that there is an option to take him off the bipap, give him some meds to relax him, and then I can say my final goodbyes and he would just go to sleep permanently. I feel this is a humane thing to do, as much as I know in my heart after talking to a couple of doctors and a chaplain that he is declining. I'm going to take a couple of days at the most so I can get things in order. I've already talked to someone at the funeral home where I did pre planning on his funeral. He will be cremated and have full military honors. He will be buried at the veterans cemetery in King, WI. I actually got the approval letter from the military cemetery today. 

They did a CT scan on him earlier this afternoon, after I had left and gone back home. I'm waiting to hear from the doctor on that. They think he has a large blood clot on his lung, a PE. The pulmonary doctor echoed what the main doctor said, that if this is the case, the options could be risky and make the blood clot burst, which would kill him. So I'm waiting on those results and praying for a miracle, but I don't think there will be a miracle. I called and talked to Ron's daughter and son-in-law who live in Kansas. They are going to make a 10 hour drive to the hospital to see him. They will be here Monday night. I hope Ron can hold on until Tuesday. Once Tuesday comes, I will be making the decision and get things set up. I just don't want to prolong his suffering. I can't do that to him. This is horrific for me, and I'm a complete mess right now. But I am determined to take action by Monday or Tuesday. 

I know he's going to Heaven. He will be reunited with his Mom, Dad, and brother, and friends he made while in the Navy. I will think about that when I feel like I want to lay down and die. I won't lay down and die. I will keep on and honor his final wishes. It's the least I can do.

Yes, it sounds like it's the right decision in the best interest of your husband. 
I know it hurts, and it will hurt more, but in the end you can feel comforted knowing you made the right decision , a decision out of love .
Your husband will be at peace and his suffering over.  
Hugs & strength to you

(10-23-2022, 09:52 PM)Finspiracy Wrote: I have fucking drank and smoked heavily for 3 days now, in order to escape from reality.

Now we have people here watching their husband die.

Had enough. Unable to cope.

Good night, going to bed now.

If you need to talk , I will listen. There's nothing I can do from a distance but listen 

I don't know what to say. I can empathize, but not really put myself in your shoes.

If the end is coming, the best you can do is be there for him until the end arrives. It comes one day for all of us. Grace has always insisted on a DNR, and to be truthful, as heartless as it sounds, I'd rather she go first. That way, she will never be alone, right up to it. I will then be alone, but better me than her, I think. It pains me to think of her having to navigate this shitshow all alone.

It sounds like you have a handle on all the details, so now all you have to do is surround him with love until God takes that job over for you. He will then have something a lot of people never have, and he will have it all the way to the Other Side. Can one person really give another a greater gift?

My heart breaks for you.

.

(10-23-2022, 10:11 PM)ChiefD Wrote: I'm worried about you too, Fin. I'll say a prayer for you. G'night and take care.

Oh? Hey look, i do not want people to be worried about me. Not cool.

I am just a bit reckless and also alcoholic but nothing bad is gonna happen to me really.

(10-24-2022, 01:23 AM)ancientlight Wrote: If you need to talk , I will listen. There's nothing I can do from a distance but listen 

I might, a bit later. It is a new day and new week now and i feel like a fart. Totally needing black coffee. Now.

I might open up in the shoutbox wannabe thread. Leaving this one for ChiefD.

Thank you!