California is just Fucked-Up

[Wallfire]

Back from the Land of Nod to pick up where I left off…

@"Michigan Swamp Buck"   Thanks.  
_________________________

@Ninurta
What an excellent response and an attitude I have much respect for. Others could learn from you.

I won’t go into a tit-for-tat reply but did want to expand a bit on one or two of your thoughts. Firstly on the old dog/new tricks thing. I am sixty-six. Are you that much older than me?

Gender and sex have traditionally been used interchangeably until more recently because 99.3% of the time, they meant the same thing and were in alignment but once the whole trans thing entered the discourse, the need for some differentiation became crucial because the very definition of trans is a misalignment between the two. It’s not really that hard.

Secondly, on your concept of “major”… Yes, I am who I am and have always been and there’s no debate about that but I have been through some extraordinary things that for most of my life I more or less disassociated and distanced myself from up until about when I was sixty and realized there were others like me and that I was not alone in my uniqueness.

This also more or less coincides with the “trans tipping point”, Laverne Cox on the cover of Time Magazine and the trans discourse entering my awareness. It became all a bit much to ignore and I honestly did not know what transgender even was and had to look up the meaning of the word and how it was used and who these transgender people were and what they were about. I was actually pretty alarmed.

Part of my history might explain my ignorance? As a child, I had no concept of why I was a girl born with a penis and had no words to describe things and thought I was some kind of a freak or an anomaly with a birth defect and that there was no one else like me in the whole world. That feeling of being the “only one” isolated me and the deep-seated need to express myself so that others would understand me the same way I understood myself created nothing but havoc in my young life not only for me but for my parents as well. Nevertheless I persisted without having any idea of why I was in the predicament I was in or how to communicate the problem other than just to be what I knew myself to be.

Consequently, I was never seen as a normal boy, was never accepted as one and never fit in as one all the while not understanding what any of this really meant. I never really went through some sort of boy to girl transition like we think of in today’s terms so when I started living more fully and openly as a girl at fifteen and my family referred to me with she/her pronouns and called me by a different name, it was just a natural and organic progression of what I’d just grown up to be but I still didn’t understand it – it just was.

Segue to next 50+ years of my life.

It wasn’t until I was seventeen that I learned there was a name for people like me and that something could be done about it but the early 1970s weren’t exactly enlightened times so the approach was to blend in, be nothing less than binary and perfectly feminine, attracted to the opposite gender (i.e. same sex) and to keep your head down and keep your mouth shut. In other words, be normal and quietly fit into the cisgender heterosexual paradigm without making waves and keeping things on the down low.

Since all this came naturally to me and it was impossible and always had been for me to blend in or fit into the world as a boy, that’s what I did and have done for the remainder of my life. I am neither proud nor ashamed of being transsexual but it is kind of embarrassing or maybe complicated is a better word and it is not something I wish to have known about me in the real world because it invariably changes other’s perception and in most cases, not in a good way so if you will, I’ve remained hidden and in the closet about my history or to use a trans term, been stealth.

That is until six or so years ago on ATS where I met a young member there that helped me more or less become better accepting of the things I dealt with and went through as a child because she had grown up the same way and been through the same things. Having never met someone of such similar circumstance, it was an epiphany and revolutionary.

As she was countering the prevalent anti-trans bias and hate endemic to that community, she encouraged me to join her in her quest to spread some actual knowledge and information straight from the horse’s mouth as it were and I begrudgingly began to do so. With so much misinformation, hearsay, rumor and myth which causes the fear, prejudice and hate surrounding the whole trans topic, I found value in helping others have a better understanding of the issues involved feeling that education and knowledge about the lives and experiences of “true” transsexuals better served to improve the understanding of others more than spouting transgender ideology, rhetoric and activism ever could. I received many private messages from people thanking me for helping them see things from a better perspective.

Yes, I am who I am but that also includes what I’ve been through in life that has undeniably shaped my views, opinions, perspectives and experiences. I’m not out to change people’s minds or shove anything down people’s throats. I realize that many if not most people aren’t receptive to things that upset their apple cart but there are those willing to learn given the right information that might reevaluate or reconsider their position in these matters and come to a better understanding of them.

I have been very fortunate and privileged and perhaps because of my successes and invisibility, also maybe a little guilty for not doing more to help others of my tribe and the least I can do is speak up when things get out of hand or go sideways when I can do so online anonymously. You have no idea what it’s like to sit through a hate and ignorance filled anti-trans conversation in a redneck dive bar without saying anything or the kind of fear and apprehension of repercussions I might be subject to if I was out and open about being one of those fucking tranny faggots. Let me assure you it is not pleasant or a comfortable situation to be in and I feel like a traitor and a coward but having been assaulted several times and nearly beaten to death as a teenager for being different, I have to be pretty cautious about my surroundings.

Online, that is not the case and why I even bring it up here. If I were indeed an activist, I could have started a dozen threads on this topic but I have only gotten involved when someone else brings it up. I got involved in this thread because right off the bat, I could see where it was going to go. No more boys and girls? What were those crazy tranners and radical gender abolitionists going to come up with next was inferred along with the downfall of traditional society and by some leap, Marxists and Commies and I wanted to maybe distance myself from the madness or set the record straight that just because someone happens to be trans that they are the ones pushing for this sort of thing.

Again Mr. Ninurta, I appreciate the dialog.
_________________________

@Guohua

Thank you for your interesting comments and thoughts about reincarnation. I’ve thought about this myself and my own mother thought there may be some sort of karma involved. Like maybe I was a man in a former life and did something terrible to a woman that forced me to come back as a male and go through a lot of shit to become a woman? Like being trans was punishment for something I did in a former life or something like that? Or maybe this was my last time around and something I needed to experience before reaching the highest plane? Many have told me I am an old soul.

I am not a religious or even a spiritual person but nevertheless, I’ve always had a female heart and soul or spirit if you will that was simply undeniable and irrepressible. I’ve never really sought answers or an explanation for this, it’s just something that's just always been.

Your answers to some of the questions are very similar to others I have heard from other people. I would postulate that you are using the "Lefts" hand book on how to answer such questions ( the way you answer is very much in the Lefts doctrine ). Last time I seen this type of thing was when the moonies trained there people to answer set questions. 
Still makes interesting reading, not very convicting reading but interesting.
But I do wonder why dont you just get on with your life and live just as you are, you like myself are way too old to be involved in things like this, just enjoy your life