(02-25-2021, 06:39 PM)BIAD Wrote: I'm laid-up in bed at the moment with a horrible bout of (NOT Covid!) flu and decided to lift my spirits with
some good old-fashioned comedy called mainstream news on a Television set in my bedroom that makes a
fine dust-collector.
So as I hacked a lung out and steadied my bowels, I watched my local news outlet on the only major
independent channel in the UK that could supposedly rival the BBC. It was the usual reportage of misery,
with clips of old people weeping their relief of being saved by an hospital and as long as the camera didn't
pan down to the twenty-stone bodies stuffed into a wheelchair, we could easily fall for the usual narrative
that Coronavirus came to this chilly land, scared everyone into their homes and only took the slowest and
unhealthy.
...
Stay away from medical personnel. They'll insist on testing you, and it's a well known scientific fact that the common flu turns into covid immediately upon exposure to a test kit. Follow the science! Stay away from doctors!
Plus, the CCP has taken a page from the alien playbook and started testing for covid by anal swap. Now we know what all that "alien probing" was REALLY all about! Rest assured that it will only be a matter of time before anal probe testing spreads around the world, just like covid did, both courtesy the CCP. You don't want to be the first for that treatment, now do you?
Get better soon! I'm still recommending the 151 proof rum as a valid medical treatment. If it'll kill covid, it ought to at least beat the shit out of a flu... in the meantime, do not laugh at anything I've posted here. You have a delicate Ailementary condition to consider. Laughter cannot be good for it, and the results could be disastrous.
If you get a package from the US with "Ninurta" in the return address that is labelled "delicate auto parts - do not drop!", it's a special virus treatment I've been working on - moonshine infused with hot peppers. That'll kill any virus ever made.
The CCP also taught me that smuggler's trick with the package labelling...
.
Diogenes was eating bread and lentils for supper. He was seen by the philosopher Aristippus, who lived comfortably by flattering the king.
Said Aristippus, ‘If you would learn to be subservient to the king you would not have to live on lentils.’ Said Diogenes, ‘Learn to live on lentils and you will not have to be subservient to the king.’
Said Aristippus, ‘If you would learn to be subservient to the king you would not have to live on lentils.’ Said Diogenes, ‘Learn to live on lentils and you will not have to be subservient to the king.’