Coffee and Cakes in the Forest for Cancer Care

[BIAD]

Well done Big Man and congratulations on a successful charity cause.

However, I feel it would be only correct of me to explain your comments of your antics during that day and
expound on what you truly meant.

'...The Sun shone brightly all day, and everyone had a fantastic time drinking coffee, eating cakes...'

Many may know already that the sun doesn't actually shine in Scotland. It hasn't since the battle of Culloden.
The summer fires of heather are done chiefly to warm the roaming haggis due to the sun not getting that far north.

Now onto the personal-part of Gordi.

'...Trying out the hammocks...'

Gordi fell asleep.

'...Forest obstacle course...'

Dealing with a heavy bladder, Gordi struggled on his way to urinate into the surrounding woodland.
(Probably involving four branches and flip-flops)

'...Tightrope...'

That conversation all men have when questioned by wife about the amount of mead drank. The same one all men lose.

'... And tree swing...'

A metaphor for the silence in the car on the way home.

'...There was craft-making, toasting marshmallows on the camp-fire and live music (from yours truly)too...'

Notice Gordi hiding his light under a bushel in regards of his mushroom carving, his guilt on the amount of marshmallows
he ate and his pride of singing forgotten songs from the sixties.

'...The amazing sum of £400 was raised for a great cause too!'

Phew! A saving grace!

Seriously, well done Sir.