The Tragic End of Super Rack-Nid
Tragically, Super Rack-Nid's days gave been cut short, and come to an end.
It happened thusly.
As you know, Grace is not quite as mobile as once she was. At around 04: 38 this morning, she yelled to request my assistance in moving from one spot to another, immediately upon her awakening. So, being the dutiful husband I am, I rushed to comply. After I helped her from the bed, and en-route to her destination (I am at times the equivalent of a human walker for her), she suddenly stopped and stared at the bedroom wall. This is what she was staring at:
I've left the corner of the TV, a 52 inch monstrosity, and the end of a USB extension cable in the shot for size comparisons. A closer inspection shows this:
So, instead of proceeding to her desired destination, Grace steered me (as her human walker) into the living room, where she perched upon the sofa and refused to budge until I had done battle and vanquished the foe. I thought that a bit silly, in light of the merriment she had made of me for keeping track of Super Rack-Nid while he (or she) was staying on the basement stairs, but apparently invading the bedroom was just a bit over the edge. To Grace's credit, she did not jump and shout "fuck me running!" as I would have, but her steadfast reluctance to go down the hall speaks volumes all the same.
Grace insisted that it MUST be a monster, since she saw it asleep, blind, and in the dark.
I could not immediately find a swatter nor a handy shovel handle to beat the beast to death with, so the next best implement was a suggestion from Mrs, @"BIAD" - the slipper I was wearing at the time.
Stealthily slipping into the arena of battle, I gauged the distance and computed the odds of my demise vs. the demise of Super Rack-Nid, and finding the odds to be marginally favorable to me, I swiftly and violently sprang into action, and completely ended the interloper's all too short life. The final resting place, the mausoleum of the heroic Super Rack-Nid, was a Walmart shopping bag:
And so ended the days of the heroic Super Rack-Nid, the intrepid and dauntless explorer of regions best left alone.
It's not the first friend or pet I've killed, and likely will not be the last. Life is lonely at the top when folks cannot properly behave themselves, or stay in their places.
RIP Super Rack-Nid.
As an aside, you can bet your ass I am going to remind Grace of this incident the very next time she comments on how I squeal like a little girl at the sight of giant spiders. I may squeal, but I don't park my ass on a sofa and refuse to budge until the interloper is eradicated. After all, I'm the one that has to do the eradicating...
... because life is lonely in the command chair.
I still made Grace a pot of coffee, because some things are not negotiable, not even from the command chair.
.
Diogenes was eating bread and lentils for supper. He was seen by the philosopher Aristippus, who lived comfortably by flattering the king.
Said Aristippus, ‘If you would learn to be subservient to the king you would not have to live on lentils.’ Said Diogenes, ‘Learn to live on lentils and you will not have to be subservient to the king.’
Said Aristippus, ‘If you would learn to be subservient to the king you would not have to live on lentils.’ Said Diogenes, ‘Learn to live on lentils and you will not have to be subservient to the king.’