I think one of the neighbors brought spirits to our building

[Finspiracy]

Consider this possibility. It may be that the bad spirits, negative energies, whatever you want to call them, are overwhelming your feelings to the point that you cannot feel the other, but that the others are still there. God, angels, forces of good, positive energies, whatever you prefer to call them. it may be that the positive  are still there, and working on your behalf, but you just can't feel their presence because you are being overwhelmed by the negative.

It's been my experience that when you are most alone is when you are really being carried on the shoulders of giants. You just don't realize it, because you are unconscious to it.

I have considered that possibility a lot. But i am pleased to read it suggested by someone else than me.

feelings can lie to you.

This is important and i know that it is true. But it is hard to keep in mind, hard for me to... when the evil is here, it feels like all hope has been lost for all eternity and i have fallen for the final time. Yet, here i am, just had coffee, writing a reply to you and listening to slow cello music. My feelings lied. Maybe i will fucking write on my wall that "God, angels, and the forces of good are still here" and just stare at that the next time the dementors try to fuck me up.