It's News Guys, But Not As We Know it!

[BIAD]

Oh for the days when serious news outlets delivered unbiased, neutral information that attracted customers from all
walks of life. But could it be that the supposed 'golden years' of being informed are attempting to resurrect themselves?

Er, no.

Woman who ‘married’ pirate ghost claims he tried to kill her after dumping

A woman who “married” the 300-year-old ghost of a pirate says he nearly killed her when she broke off the relationship.



'Amanda Teague underwent an exorcism after the spirit possessed her. Her ex was a Haitian pirate called Jack who was
executed in the 1700s. The 47-year-old –who has worked as a Captain Jack Sparrow impersonator –said: “After two weeks
of marriage, I started to get health problems.

“I started to get reoccurring abscesses and I was suffering from cirrhosis. About four or five months in, when things started to
go really downhill, I went back to some of the people that had communicated with Jack. “I know the symptoms of possession
and part of it is ill health. So I was concerned that it was to do with the relationship, because of the timeline.
But I was assured that he was a lovely spirit who wouldn’t harm me.”

Amanda, of Downpatrick, Northern Ireland, cut off sex with the ghost in order to see if that helped.
She said: “Once I stopped having sexual contact with Jack, the abscesses started to improve. And I’d say that was literally the
best three weeks I’d had since we got married.

“So, anyway, one night a friend of mine got married to her spiritual partner and Jack and I ended up being intimate.
The very next day, the abscess was back with a vengeance. ” Amanda was rushed to hospital for surgery in May last year after
developing sepsis. But she says when she confronted him the ghost threatened to kill her.

Amanda said: “His reaction when I told him he had to leave was that he wasn’t going to.
“And that if I tried to have an exorcism and get rid of him, he was going to kill me.”
She says her health has drastically improved since the exorcism in December.

Amanda has now sworn off all spiritual work and written book A New Attitude about her experiences, available on Amazon...'

Daily Star:

We're always warned that when drinking from a pirate's bottle of rum, always-always wipe the rim.

............................................

THE PHANTOM MAID

Intruder breaks into family’s home while they’re out… and CLEANS the entire house.

'An intruder broke into a family's home and poked around their stuff while they were out -and then cleaned the entire house.
The stranger didn't steal a single thing but instead vacuumed, made the beds and scrubbed the toilets.
His five-year-old son's room had been tidied and all the toys were put away. They even made origami roses out of the rolls
of toilet paper.



Nate Roman, 44, discovered his house had been given a spring clean when he returned home from work in Marlborough,
Massachusetts, on May 15. He said it's possible that he forgot to lock his door as whoever got in didn't break anything to enter.
The dad now thinks a cleaning service may have entered his home by mistake.



Mr Roman said he found the situation "weird and creepy" and reported the incident to the police.
He told The Boston Globe: "It’s funny now, but didn’t feel funny at the time. "I kept the toilet paper roses as souvenirs."

Police said they haven't heard of this happening anywhere else in the area.
Marlborough Police Sergeant Daniel Campbell said: "We have not received any reports similar to this in other locations,
and we have no suspects at this time."

Nate called the incident 'creepy'...'

The Sun:

Thanks Nate and you're probably right about a Cleaning Agency accidentally entering the wrong home and I for one will
be happier when they invent reminders about protecting ones home and family.