I have killed two of these this year

[Ninurta]

Be careful 727Sky. 

We have poisonous centipedes here too, but they don't look like that.
That is an ugly bugger right there.

I have noticed that many things poisonous have the color red/orange on them somewhere. Is this nature's way of making them stand out so we can see them? 
Of course, there are many things that don't have bright colors too, like certain snakes and scorpions, etc.

I often wonder what The Creator was thinking when He/She made these creatures? Especially yellow jackets! What purpose do they serve except to scare the poop out of people and make them sick, or possibly die?
Nature's way of thinning the population?

Okay, I'm rambling.  I'll stop now.

You know, when Grace and I were moving back here from Kansas City, I told her we were moving to a rain forest. On the way, when we were in Eastern Kentucky (and it was in July), the deep blue-green of the trees, the canopy cover on the mountains, and the mist rising through the trees nearly convinced her.

That first winter argued against it.

However, in either the first or second month in this house, I ran into one of the centipedes. I normally keep my clothes in a chair near the bed so I can jump up and jump into them with little or no notice. I was going in to work at 7 am at the time, so it was early morning when I got up. Started to put my clothes on, and one of the little bastards fell out of my clothes onto the floor. It died a horrendous death, but I could feel centipedes crawling all over my body the rest of that day.

It wasn't a big one, only about 3 or 4 inches long or so and looked just like the one in the photo (but smaller), but what creeped me out was that it was in the house, and got hid in my clothes, and had to climb a chair leg to do that. It was like the little bugger was aiming for me. Made my skin crawl all day. I started banging my boots out like I did back in the day after that. Creepy crawlies (spiders, centipedes, scorpions, snakes, etc.) in the jungle just LOVE to hide out in your boots, and wait for you to put them on unawares.

I pound them boots on the floor and then shake them out to this very day. Probably will the rest of my life. That first year I killed 21 spiders by shaking those boots out.

All kinds of spiders here. We have a big "Huntsman spider" that is about 6 inches or so across the legs. I call them "saber-tooth spiders" because their fangs are near a quarter inch long. My sister calls them "tarantulas", but they aren't - they not nearly as stocky as tarantulas are. I've killed about 5 of them in this house. Now, one might think those are pretty creepy, but let me tell you a story...

I went out to the laundry room one day, and there in the floor was one of those big-assed huntsman spiders. The thing is, it was laid over on it's back, with it's legs all curled up and meeting just above it's belly. Upon closer inspection, I saw that it's feet were TIED TOGETHER with spider silk. The big bastard had been hog-tied by some OTHER spider!

Nowadays, the big ass Huntsman spiders don't creep me out nearly as much as whatever spider did that to that one!

Then there are the "jumping spiders" or "dancing spiders". I don't know what they are really called, but they're mean little bastards. they attack without provocation. They're not like the little tiny black jumping spiders that are really called "Jumping spiders" - they run across the ground dancing - they kind of roll like a wobbly top when they run... and they like as not will be running straight for you. They're anywhere from an inch and a half to 3 inches across the legs. I've had them jump as high as my knees and straight AT me, maybe 2 or 3 feet forward towards me, and they only missed because I could jump or scoot backwards just as fast. They, too, die horrible, horrible deaths whenever I see one. Had one crawl up the back of my chair one evening. Grace at first thought it was the cat climbing my chair, but when she realized what it was she shrieked and pointed, and just that quick I was 5 feet away and facing the chair, with that blasted spider perched on the top of the back of it, wondering how in the hell I did that... and that was the last thought it had.

Got black widows around here, and at work, too. We killed 9 in the space of a 15 minute break one day up there, as the rain ran them out of their hidey-holes. I killed one one day that was dangling from the roof on a thread of silk, aiming for a young lady that stood there unawares. I saw it, walked up to her and tapped her on the shoulder, and said "'scuse me miss - could you step 3 feet thataway?" when she did, I grabbed it's silk string, lowered it to the ground, and lowered the boom on it. A crowd of folks around there generally took the opinion that I was crazy, playing with black widows like that, but hell, no one got bit by it, and all was well, right?

Then there are the millipedes here. Great big ones. They aren't dangerous, but they're still pretty creepy. Got too many legs, y'know? I was walking back home from my sister's house a couple hundred yards up the road one summer day, and saw something in the road which I thought was a baby snake... until I got up to it. It was one of those millipedes, the biggest one I ever saw here, that had been crossing the road when a car decided it's fate. It was about 8 or 10 inches long, but the car won that fight anyhow. I took pictures of it, because I was pretty sure that if I didn't, I'd convince myself that I was just hallucinating it a couple years down the road.

Not everything here is dangerous, though. Sure, we've got copperheads, rattle snakes, and water moccasins, but everyone around here claims every snake they see is a "copperhead". The vast majority are not. We had an infestation at work, where snakes were getting in all over the building, and every one they saw was a "copperhead". A guy caught one under my trash can one day when I was off work. It bit him as he was catching it, but he never swelled or nothing. it was just a regular snake. Another one came in through a crack in the concrete floor, but got away when a guy tried to kill it, causing me and another manager to have to spend a whole day de-snaking the place. That one wasn't really a copperhead, either. A guy killed one in the ladies bathroom and threw it out. He swore it was a copperhead, but I made him show me where it was, and it was just a corn snake. I killed one in the lobby that folks swore was a copperhead, but it was just a corn snake, too. I had to kill it to set them back at ease.

For some odd reason, the state has declared it illegal to kill rattlesnakes in this county. They can kiss my ass - I'll kill every one I can find. I reckon if I don't mention it to the state, then it must have never happened. I.E. - it ain't illegal if ya don't get caught.

Years ago, I had a friend that I spent a lot of time in the brush and  tall grass with. He's dead now, died years ago, but something he always said stuck in my mind, and will likely be there till the end of my days. He was fond of saying "in the end, the wild will win". The older I get, and the more this place changes back to wilderness and creepy critters, the more I am convinced he was right.

P.S. - Yellowjackets. Yellowjackets are a variety of hornet, and all hornets are just assholes with wings.

P.P.S. - I reckon we come by creepy crawlies honest around here. 315 million years ago, when this whole area was a coal swamp 5 degrees off the equator, there was a centipede that lived here called "Arthropleura". It was 8 feet long. Thank God there aren't any of those left...

There AREN'T any of those left, right? RIGHT?

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