Britain getting Screwed

[BIAD]

I'll beg your forgiveness. You see, I have a friend here who is an author - a real author, unlike my pretense-ridden self
- who shot me a message a few days ago intimating that there is a character in his most recent novel that I might find
excessive interest in, so I've been reading his series.

I've not gotten to the introduction of that character yet, but the series, being of a post-apocalyptic, SHTF nature, may
have crept into my thinking somewhat, perhaps coloring my thought process just a bit...

I do understand and please forgive me for my pompousness, fellow-Rogues come in all shapes and sizes... and moods.
If I may, I'll take it this character of the story is short on temper and long on personnel-halting-and-stimulation-response-rifle
and Multi-functional Night Eyes?
*(I have to admit, I cut and paste these without knowing what they are!)

I'm not judging you understand, it's just that the brief comments from BIAD regarding his and yourself's past history leaves
me with the feeling that any interaction you and he have been involved in, usually ends in a the smell of cordite and those
stunted cigars you smoke.

Maybe I'm being rude and I know I shouldn't be. It's just I worry about BIAD''s only friend and his outlook of his fellow planet
-dwellers. Up there on that mountain, a man can see differently, I assume.
Anyway, I think I understand.

...Now, I wouldn't hop astride a horse and shoot the average sight seeing passer-by, not even in my befuddles state,
but I might make it forcefully known that they ought to KEEP ON passing by.

I mean, the county IS trying to promote tourism, and I wouldn't want to attract the sort of tourist that is looking for a gun fight,
y'know? It's just the ones who might stop at my gate and beat it with a stick that would disturb my normal calm enough to
bring out the irritable side of me...

I know that this is one of the things Boy In A Dress admires in you, your civic duty. That -and the way you tend to go for a
leg-shot before trying to take out any fancy logo on a tourist's backpack. Tourism is important and goes a long way to
generating diversity of opinion from those who seek and those who meet that seeking.

As you've indicated, travellers from afar may come to see you up there and it just wouldn't do that when they're marvelling at
the hovering hummingbirds, to see you strapping one of those old nasty guns to a gatepost for better balance.

...Besides, everyone knows that you don't leave them hanging on the fence. that's what scarecrows are for.
It's common knowledge that you take the unsightly corpses and drop them in abandoned mine shafts before going back
in to see what's on the idiot tube!
Why, if I were going to leave bodies laying about, I might as well put a few rusted and abandoned cars up on blocks in
my yard too, to complete the effect!

Too much work to bury 'em - whether cars or interlopers - but that's what we have abandoned mine shafts for!...

We have cemeteries now... not everything is seen as carrion. I can appreciate your concern for keeping up an appearance
for any hiking-folk or ramblers, but there is a system that many counties adhere to when it comes to dealing with the somber
situation of death. Nobody thinks a rusted clunker on blocks in a yard is a good idea, just as nobody believes tossing
intruders down a mine-shaft is okay.
You'll get letters.

...One of my great ambitions in life is to make Nancy Pelosi swoon. There's always hope!

Me too!

P.S. - you know me too well, methinks. Said Black Rifle is indeed propped against the wall next to my throne - erm, I mean chair
- while I sit typing, always within easy reach in case of a disturbance of my calm.

Ruining the 'oh-I'm-so-conceited' attitude, I'm seriously proud that I hope I do know you! You're a good man.
(Back to it though!)

Have you considered exchanging the rifle for a fidget spinner to assist in keeping your thoughts calm?
Granted, the carnage will not be the same, but at least it's less strain on one's spine than filling mineshafts with... prey?
It's just a suggestion.