The Meaning of Disgrace

[projectvxn]

I came to the US as a child in 1989. I was not oppressed but my parents had been. I lived very poorly in Costa Rica, where my parents had fled to from Cuba. A decade before their lives were in danger. They had taken refuge in the embassy of Peru with nearly 11,000 other refugees desperate to escape the tyrannical yoke of the Marxist government of Fidel Castro.

By the grace of God they were able to escape and secure passage on a Peruvian aircraft bound for Costa Rica, where political asylum had been granted. They left with nothing. Not that they had anything to begin with.

We secured immigration sponsorship and political asylum in the US in the interim 10 years. When we received the green-light to enter the US, we did so. I was just barely 5 years old. We landed in Miami, stayed for little while and then proceeded to Los Angeles, California where I would live until 1994. In that time my father had proven deeply abusive and by age 7 had abandoned the family entirely.

My mother moved us to Las Vegas and struggled with 2 boys, little english, and no marketable skills for the next several years. By the time I was 16, I had moved out and had started my own life. At the age of 26 I joined the United States Army. Up to that point I didn't have much stability. A couple of years before joining the military I had finally secured enough economic stability to finish my green card paperwork, get my GED, and go serve my country.

It was the first time in my life I had any real clarity. My wife, who has supported me through so much doubt and misery has been faithfully by my side for nearly 16 years. She too was a poor child growing up in a dysfuctional household. She too sought to do better with her life, and she too was as lost as I was. But she stayed with me. Gave us two highly intelligent children whose future I will do anything to secure.

I left the army in 2016 after a back injury in Afghanistan took me off of flight status, and eventually maintenance too. I was medically separated from the Army with a disability rating, an Army commendation medal, an air medal, and two army achievement medals.

I left with just shy of 355 combat flight hours in special operations environments and nearly 15,000 logged maintenance hours on army aircraft. I also left with a lot of uncertainty, self-doubt, PTSD, and survivors guilt that completely squashed what would have otherwise created a confident and effective human being.

But I have once again regained control of my life. Especially in the last few years. I bought a home well within my means, we have all the luxury available to any American family, and other than my home, I have no other debt. I've sought to understand what happened in Afghanistan and have started a new chapter in my professional life. I am blessed, happy, and absolutely scared to death.

I am not alone. I want to keep what I have worked so hard to build. My life doesn't belong to me. It belongs to my wife and kids who are central to it. I would die and kill to ensure their safety and their future. I want to secure for them the blessings of liberty that were denied to my parents for my children and theirs.

I don't want a Great Reset. I don't want a Green New Deal. I don't want Big Tech's fascism and censorship. I don't want China's interests represented above the United States and her people. I don't want anyone else to leave their souls or their lives in far off battlefields. Hellscapes marshalled by incompetent men with no sense of responsibility for the lives wasted in exchange for the profits of Chinese mining interests.

All I want is to live what remains of my life in peace so that I can give my children a better world than the one I was born to.

Don't get in the way of that. The extent of grace isn't unlimited and you're fast approaching the limits. If you take my peace, threaten the only people in my life who matter to me, and make it impossible to live freely, I will create my own hellscape especially for you would-be tyrants.

Dying was in my job description. Dying for this country. You can't scare me and I am not alone. There are millions of us and you just don't seem to get it.

Don't Tread On Me.

[guohua]

Awesome story.

Thank You for your Service. 


Welcome To America, yours and my adopted home. 

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

What I am about to say, you will not want to hear. I know that, and I am not trying to make light of your fear and angst. and I am not trying to be dismissive.

I too grew up poor, but I was blessed to have grown up in the country, so we ate off the economy, and from what we could catch from the Bay. I too served in the US military, but no combat, not in the jungles anyway.


I spent my life fighting the battle of doubt, insecurity, and obstacles, that kept doors slamming in my face. I was told the first time I tried to buy a home, that I needed a co-signature, because I was too young, and a "single" female, which meant I was too high of a risk. My boss at the time had faith in me, so she signed for me to get my house.

I have spent years proving to everyone that told me I could not do something, that I could. I wasted a lot of years, and lived through a lot of agony, fighting the boogeyman of what might happen, and every time I came face to face with my fears, they were always much smaller than what I had grown in my head. I am old enough now to know better, so I have gotten pretty adept at keeping those monsters at bay.

You know what you want. You are prepared for what might be. Don't waste your time and your joy on building monsters that might be. Value every second of what is. Make pleasant, joyful memories with your children, that will carry them through the time when you are no longer with them.

We can only guess what tomorrow will bring. Fight for the gift of today, enjoy all that you can, and deal with the if, of what might happen, tomorrow.

I know that we are living in a time of uncertainty that is creating Godzilla sized monsters in our heads. We are constantly being distracted and bombarded with truths, lies, and deception, to generate fears, that continue to grow until we break, blow up, or open our eyes. Again, I am not saying that your fears are not real, what I am saying is use your energy to fight the monsters you are facing today, tomorrow will always be there to fight, if you are there to meet it.

Just an old lady, trying to be useful.

[F2d5thCav]

@"projectvxn" 

Everyone has a unique trail they've walked in life.

I would have never pegged you as a Cuban-American.  The toughest soldiers I knew where those who had heritage from a country the communists had taken over.  No compromises.

Thank you for your service.

Cheers

[ABNARTY]

I know that we are living in a time of uncertainty that is creating Godzilla sized monsters in our heads. We are constantly being distracted and bombarded with truths, lies, and deception, to generate fears, that continue to grow until we break, blow up, or open our eyes. Again, I am not saying that your fears are not real, what I am saying is use your energy to fight the monsters you are facing today, tomorrow will always be there to fight, if you are there to meet it.

Wise words. Thank you.

[ABNARTY]

All I want is to live what remains of my life in peace so that I can give my children a better world than the one I was born to.

It sounds like you are doing a great job so far.