What Is Beauty?

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

I watched a normal young boy reject and say hurtful things about a young girl, because he thought she was ugly. I didn't know the young girl and it was a good thing that she did not hear him. I didn't know a whole lot about the young girl. She seemed nice and I would not call her ugly.

I did know the young boy, so I asked him why he would say she was ugly, when she is clearly not. He said he thought she was. I asked him who he thought was beautiful, and he called off a list of names of famous women, being an old fart, I did not have a clue to who they were, but I got the picture fairly quickly.

I asked him if he thought any of the those women he thought were beautiful would want to be with him. His demeanor changed a bit. I told him he was not rich, not powerful, and he was nice looking, but he was not drop dead gorgeous, so how many girls were calling him ugly, because he didn't look like a movie star. I took little of the cheer out of his Cheerios, but the conversation sent me to that place in my mind that causes me to do a bit of self reflection.

Beauty. What is it? Why does it have such power and influence over us, to the point that we are willing to reject others, for a characteristic that is so superficial and fleeting? What purpose does it have? Why do we even have a category for what is pleasing to the eye, but seems to serve no other purpose, other than stroking our ego, and making us ignore or reject those people or things that serve a greater purpose?

i remembered a young boy that I had a crush on back when I was young. He was gorgeous, and all the girls loved him. I remembered the pride I felt when he chose me over the other girls, especially the prettier ones. It took me longer than it should have to realize he only chose me over the other girls because I could do his homework for him, and the others couldn't even do their own homework. It made me find good looking guys off putting. I became a snob in the other direction. I rejected any guy I thought looked better than me.

Look at the commercials and the other forms of advertising. We are conditioned to think of beauty in a very deliberate way.  They are so good at it, they can even make you accept beauty in things you once thought of as ugly or disgusting. So my reflection has led me here to RN. This is another thing that I am would like to hear what others think. What am I missing?

[Wallfire]

Self conference and self esteem is gained by belittling some one else. Such is the state of the world, what a sad sad place we live in that a young person thinks the only way to feel wanted and valued is by doing this.

[Moonmagic]

Beauty is so subjective, and often guided by so many other influences, especially in today's world. Growing up I have gone through so many phases of what I think is beautiful, as I matured I came to realize the only thing that never changes is my attraction to somebody's mind, that's the one that's lasting rather than fleeting. That's not to say I don't appreciate a good looking Woman, but weirdly that can change so often it almost doesn't matter anymore.

Physical Attraction wise, and beyond all the obvious Male attraction stuff, I go for the eyes, there is something about Beautiful eyes that just sets my heart racing.

Symmetry is interesting, because that is ''Beauty'' to a Human eye on a more basic level, and this is universal. There is something interesting about this that has huge impacts on us all. Prison sentencing and people being found guilty etc, I can't remember where I read this, but basically there was an experiment or study and they found that  ''good looking'' people were found not guilty, or innocent or given shorter sentences over ''ugly'' people. There has been experiments in other areas too which all come to the same conclusion, basically genetically blessed folks get an easier ride than not so genetically blessed folks, be that jobs, general treatment by others, perceived intelligence, or even simply receiving a smile from others.

Obviously there are exceptions.

It's a confusing World and we are a confusing and unfair species.

[LadyJae]

Our young women are being conditioned to associate "sexy" and glamorous with beauty. No one is teaching them that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder or that true beauty lies within.

I read an article on beauty some time back that really opened my eyes.  This article told of the ideal beauty in different countries and in different decades. The differences are truly eye opening.  This sort of information should be required reading for our young people.

Kindness, generosity, compassion, self-respect, self-discipline--these are but a few earmarks of true beauty.

Thank you for the thought provoking post :)

LJ

EDIT: Here is an interesting article on this very subject:

Beauty Standards

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

Self conference and self esteem is gained by belittling some one else. Such is the state of the world, what a sad sad place we live in that a young person thinks the only way to feel wanted and valued is by doing this.

He is indeed a very insecure and immature young man. He is also very affected by what he is exposed to on social media, and his  value system at this point of his young life us warped. 

Unfortunately, he is not alone. Thank goodness all of his friends are not the same way,  just most of them.

They are too young to see anything that I tell them as anything more than an aggravation from an old lady that they better act respectful towards, or they will get their little assess snatched up. 

Yes, the little darlings feign respect for the neighbor Auntie.

[Mystic Wanderer]

Yep, it's sad, but true.  Rarely do you find a person who is beautiful on the outside and also beautiful on the inside. They are out there, but they are a rare breed. I only have one friend who is both.
I have many friends who are just average looking women, but inside they are some of the nicest people you'd ever want in your life.
On the other hand, I've had friends who are drop dead gorgeous on the outside, but real pricks on the inside.

When it comes down to it, I guess guys/gals need to figure out what's more important, beauty that is only skin deep, or someone who will be there to support you and lift you up and treat you like a king/queen through thick and thin.

It's a lesson everyone has to learn for themselves I guess.

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

Symmetry is interesting, because that is ''Beauty'' to a Human eye on a more basic level, and this is universal. There is something interesting about this that has huge impacts on us all. Prison sentencing and people being found guilty etc, I can't remember where I read this, but basically there was an experiment or study and they found that  ''good looking'' people were found not guilty, or innocent or given shorter sentences over ''ugly'' people. There has been experiments in other areas too which all come to the same conclusion, basically genetically blessed folks get an easier ride than not so genetically blessed folks, be that jobs, general treatment by others, perceived intelligence, or even simply receiving a smile from others.

Obviously there are exceptions.

It's a confusing World and we are a confusing and unfair species.

I used to think that beauty created a sense of natural attraction, until I fell victim to a low life that used his good looks strictly to his advantage. 

I then realized that under certain circumstance it could have an opposite effect. I developed a distrust and dislike for attractive men. I was young and foolish, and dealt with a shaming on a personal level in a personal way. With a knee jerk solution, that took me a little while to realize was not fair. 

I use to think that the eyes alone were the windows to the soul, but since we have been forced to wear masks, I find the eyes alone can make it a little hard to read a person's mood or personality. 

I still question why we accept the standards of beauty we are being conditioned to accept. Especially when they seem to always attach sexuality, with beauty. Why would we want our wife's, mothers, and daughters to be beautiful, if it is going to label them as an object for sexual gratification, real or imagined?

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

Our young women are being conditioned to associate "sexy" and glamorous with beauty. No one is teaching them that beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder or that true beauty lies within.

I read an article on beauty some time back that really opened my eyes.  This article told of the ideal beauty in different countries and in different decades. The differences are truly eye opening.  This sort of information should be required reading for our young people.

Kindness, generosity, compassion, self-respect, self-discipline--these are but a few earmarks of true beauty.

Thank you for the thought provoking post :)

LJ

EDIT: Here is an interesting article on this very subject:

Beauty Standards

We are not teaching our children any of the basics. They are being taught nililism. They believe they have no future so they just live in the moment. 

Time will move on and unfortunately many won't make it because they have not learned how to live in a world that is not just about them and the right now.

Interesting article, but it too questions why the beauty standards change and who makes the call of what the standard will be. We each personally will make our own call, but we will still be measured by the societal standard.

[PLOTUS]

It might go something like this

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2015/09/07/young/

But we all were young and naieve once, and finally disillusioned ultimately.

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

It might go something like this

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2015/09/07/young/

But we all were young and naieve once, and finally disillusioned ultimately.

I don't think I would redo my life, unless I could get a do over, being able to know everything I know now.

And I want to start the do over starting at the same time that I was born before. Even with what I know now, I don't think I would survive being a child today.

[GeauxHomeLittleD]

I believe the purpose for an attraction to beauty traces back to the more animalistic parts of our DNA memory. In the animal kingdom the most beautiful have the largest selection of "suitors" so they have the best chances of breeding and securing the continuation of the species as per instinct. Humans are just animals in clothes who drive cars but have the same instincts as all other animals- to propagate the species. 
When we are young and entering the time when our breeding instincts kick in we become attracted to physical appearance. Just as birds are attracted to brightly colored feathers and beautiful song in their quests to mate humans become attracted by the softness and curves of the female or the height and musculature of the male. We are attracted to the physical and don't really have any sort of control over what traits and characteristics get our "motors running". Natural instincts are a strange thing!
Fortunately age and experience teach us that physical appearance is far, far down the list of important factors for choosing a life mate. I guess that's why so many that marry young end up divorced- hormones chose their mate before they were mature enough to think past them.

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

I believe the purpose for an attraction to beauty traces back to the more animalistic parts of our DNA memory. In the animal kingdom the most beautiful have the largest selection of "suitors" so they have the best chances of breeding and securing the continuation of the species as per instinct. Humans are just animals in clothes who drive cars but have the same instincts as all other animals- to propagate the species. 
When we are young and entering the time when our breeding instincts kick in we become attracted to physical appearance. Just as birds are attracted to brightly colored feathers and beautiful song in their quests to mate humans become attracted by the softness and curves of the female or the height and musculature of the male. We are attracted to the physical and don't really have any sort of control over what traits and characteristics get our "motors running". Natural instincts are a strange thing!
Fortunately age and experience teach us that physical appearance is far, far down the list of important factors for choosing a life mate. I guess that's why so many that marry young end up divorced- hormones chose their mate before they were mature enough to think past them.

It depends on the animal. Some will jump on anything they can hold down. I know a lot of guys like that also.

I know in the animal kingdom with many species it is the female that make the pick, and chooses the mate that has the characteristics that are most likely to give her children the greatest chance at survival.

Maybe that is why it is the males in our society that make demands on how a woman looks, while the female is more concerned with how well he can provide.

[kdog]

I can totally relate. As a young man, I was attracted to the cute girls, but the relationships never lasted long. I was always the nice, shy guy and they usually ended up leaving to better deal me with some hot bad guy. So, eventually , I looked for someone who would not leave and settle down with. 

Never really, truly fell in love, just settled. Got married, had kids and so on. Funny how someone can pretend to be something they were not until they feel they have you trapped and become their real self. And then expect you to change to meet their needs. 

That is when I had to find myself and love myself. I knew before I could find true love, this needed to happen. 

It wasn't until I meet my wife that I fell in love, real love for the first time. I fell in love with her heart and mind before I even knew what she looked like. That is where her true beauty was. 

And I was going somewhere with this, but got interrupted by my wife. 

[Antisthenes]

Johnny Carson used to trot out the occasional Savant or Genius child or whatever you'd like to label it periodically as part of his dog and pony show. We were expected to be amazed by their didetic memory or calculator like mastery of numbers. Some were brilliant and amazing musicians. But my takeaway was always the same analysis. They were in the final analysis, children. Children with no life experience and upon observation, amazingly self involved and hopelessly lost in a morass of true ignorance. Such is the nature of kids. They really know nothing, genius or no. Because to know something you must experience it, live it and feel it to gain some empathy and have a frame of reference. Ask a child what beauty is and you will get a very skewed and varied opinion. Ask an 80 year old and I think you'll see a much more homogenized and linear ideal. I would also suspect that it will be more ethereal than egocentric. Beauty becomes an ideal as opposed to a fixed object. We all lament losing our youth and "beauty" but I can't imagine trading my rich experience and the "beauty" my mature soul has garnered over a lifetime of watching , empathizing, rationalizing and learning to have that one dimensional ideal back.

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

I can totally relate. As a young man, I was attracted to the cute girls, but the relationships never lasted long. I was always the nice, shy guy and they usually ended up leaving to better deal me with some hot bad guy. So, eventually , I looked for someone who would not leave and settle down with. 

Never really, truly fell in love, just settled. Got married, had kids and so on. Funny how someone can pretend to be something they were not until they feel they have you trapped and become their real self. And then expect you to change to meet their needs. 

That is when I had to find myself and love myself. I knew before I could find true love, this needed to happen. 

It wasn't until I meet my wife that I fell in love, real love for the first time. I fell in love with her heart and mind before I even knew what she looked like. That is where her true beauty was. 

And I was going somewhere with this, but got interrupted by my wife. 

You are truly a lucky man. 

I don't think,  no I will be honest. I never fell in love or had that kind of love you see in the movies. 

I had friends that I love dearly. Too much to let them carry the baggage I had when I was young.

No true love mate. No regrets.

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

Johnny Carson used to trot out the occasional Savant or Genius or whatever you'd like to label it periodically as part of his dog and pony show. We were expected to be amazed by their didetic memory or calculator like mastery of numbers. Some were brilliant and amazing musicians. But my takeaway was always the same analysis. They were in the final analysis, children. Children with no life experience and upon onservation, amazingly self involved and hopelessly lost in a morass of true ignorance. Such is the nature of kids. They really know nothing, genius or no. Because to know something you must experience it, live it and feel it to gain some empathy and have a frame of reference. Ask a child what beauty is and you will get a very skewed and varied opinion. Ask an 80 year old and I think you'll see a much more homogenized and linear perspective. I would also suspect that it will be more ethereal than egocentric as well. Beauty becomes an ideal as opposed to a fixed object. We all lament losing our youth and "beauty" but I can't imagine trading my rich experience and the "beauty" my mature soul has garnered over a lifetime of watching and learning to have that one dimensional ideal back.

Well said.

[ChiefD]

There’s some really good conversation going on with this thread. We all hear the things like “beauty is more than skin deep”, and my personal favorite “beauty fades, dumb is forever”. I too think that as we age, we think of beauty differently. I always joke with my hubby that he must have married me for my money because he sure as hell didn’t marry me for my looks! I fell in love with my hubby’s kind gentle ways, and his bitingly sarcastic wit. Well, his eyes too, the most beautiful hazel eyes. He had the whole dad bod Thing going on and a beer gut, but I thought he was the most handsome man in the world. He told me at the time early in our relationship that he thought I looked a lot like Princess Diana, and so his nickname for me was princess. 

Sometimes I think of these vain celebrities who are only famous because of their looks, which they definitely use to their advantage. But as they age, they won’t all age well, and eventually their looks will no longer open doors. People love beauty and youth, but to me life’s experiences and humility are so much better, and I think as people get older they have more of the latter. Beauty though is more than looks though. Beauty is a great story, loving someone all the more when they’re going through chemo and have lost all their hair, treating others kindly and with respect.

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

There’s some really good conversation going on with this thread. We all hear the things like “beauty is more than skin deep”, and my personal favorite “beauty fades, dumb is forever”. I too think that as we age, we think of beauty differently. I always joke with my hubby that he must have married me for my money because he sure as hell didn’t marry me for my looks! I fell in love with my hubby’s kind gentle ways, and his bitingly sarcastic wit. Well, his eyes too, the most beautiful hazel eyes. He had the whole dad bod Thing going on and a beer gut, but I thought he was the most handsome man in the world. He told me at the time early in our relationship that he thought I looked a lot like Princess Diana, and so his nickname for me was princess. 

Sometimes I think of these vain celebrities who are only famous because of their looks, which they definitely use to their advantage. But as they age, they won’t all age well, and eventually their looks will no longer open doors. People love beauty and youth, but to me life’s experiences and humility are so much better, and I think as people get older they have more of the latter. Beauty though is more than looks though. Beauty is a great story, loving someone all the more when they’re going through chemo and have lost all their hair, treating others kindly and with respect.

About an hour ago I was talking to some friends about this. I get a bug in my brain and it takes a while for me to get it out. I found it interesting this is something that was discussed as far back as Biblical time. In Proverbs, Lemuel speaks of the warnings his mother gave him about women as she raised him. She warned him to be careful of women because charm can be deceptive and beauty doesn't last. Now I am not going to list all the things she did tell him to look for in a wife, because if a guy would hold all women to that list, there would be maybe three women a year in the whole world, that would ever get married, and none would come from the US.

Thousand of years ago we were teaching young people about the foolhardiness and dangers in falling for the femme fatale. Today we are making them desirable and teaching little girls it is normal and acceptable. Yet how many fathers dream of their little girl being the hot desirable girl in school?

[Wallfire]

Wile reading this thread, I remembered what I had studied many many many moons ago. 

Aphrodite – The Goddess of Love and Beauty in Greek Mythology

• December 16, 2018
   
  
• GreekMythologyTours Team
   
  
• Greek Gods and Goddesses
  

Aphrodite was the Olympian Goddess of beauty, love, and desire in Greek Mythology. She was born on the island of Cyprus in a city called Phaphos – located on the southwest coast of Cyprus.

The Greek Goddess Aphrodite
The meaning of the name Aphrodite is said to be “arisen from the foam”, although there is some debate as to the origins of the word and Goddess herself. Currently, many scholars believe her to be a form of Ishtar, a Goddess imported from the Phoenicians in the guise of Astarte.
Regardless of her origins, Aphrodite was soon adopted as one of the main Olympian Gods and Goddesses in Greek Mythology. She was famous for great feminine beauty and a constant smile, elegant jewellery and dress. Her beauty beguiled mortals and deities alike, and she was  considered a goddess that was the most attractive of all in the Kingdom of Mount Olympus.
The Birth of Aphrodite
According to myth, she was born from sea-foam caused by the genitals of Uranus when they were thrown into the sea near Cythera’s coast. Kronos dismembered his own father and when throwing it into the sea, the foam it created was how Aphrodite was “formed”. According to Homer writing in the Iliad, however, Aphrodite was the daughter of Zeus and Dione.
What powers and skills does she have?
The Greek Goddess Aphrodite held the powers of fertility, pleasure and eternal youth, along with extraordinary beauty. Her beauty and sexuality were of such high regard that it could spark a war between the Gods and was even believed to have caused the Trojan War.
Aphrodite sometimes used her powers to help the other Gods, and in particular Zeus. She and Eros, also known as Cupid, caused her father Zeus (according to Homer, Zeus gave birth to Aphrodite) to fall in love with a mortal named Europa.

By Dave & Margie Hill / Kleerup from Centennial, CO, USA – Getty Villa – CollectionUploaded by Marcus Cyron, CC BY-SA 2.0, Link
Aphrodite of Milos
Many people have heard of the famous statues the Venus of Milos which is on display in the Louvre, France. In actual fact, this statue should be called the Aphrodite of Milos! It is recognised as a very important and influential masterpiece dating from the first century BC. It also gives us a very good indication of how the ancients Greeks though Aphrodite would look.
Aphrodite had a short temper
There do not seem to be many Gods or Goddesses from Greek Mythology who are renowned for their patience! Aphrodite was no exception, and was at times short tempered and vengeful.
One myth passed down is that Aphrodite cursed women of Lemnos because they refused to make sacrifice to her. Aphrodite’s curse was that the women should smell so badly their men would refuse to have sex with them!
Aphrodite and Hephaestus
The Goddess of Love and the God of Volcanoes might seem a mismatched pair to be husband and wife, and indeed they were. Aphrodite had numerous affairs, and in particular with Ares, the God of War.
On one occasion, Hephaestus was said to have found the couple in bed, where he trapped them in a cleverly crafted net. He then called in the other Gods and Goddesses to mock them!
What interesting children did she have?
Although Aphrodite was married to Hephaestus, she never had children with him. She did have plenty of children with other people though, especially Ares.
Perhaps the most famous of her offspring is Eros, more commonly known nowadays as Cupid, God of Love. They were often found in each other’s company and caused gods and mortals to fall in love.
Another child she had with Ares was called Phobos, and was personified as fear. Today, we get the word “phobia” from this source. Twin brother to Phobos was Deimos, personified as terror that came from war including the dreaded feelings attached to fear. His name literally means “dread” according to Greek Mythology.
link

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

My mother didn't wear make-up, so I was never introduced to it. My experimentation with make-up happened when I was in University. With no knowledge of how to apply it, my early attempts made me look like a clown, so I gave up on it.

I never thought of myself as beautiful, but from the opinions of others, I think I classified as pleasing to the eye.  My eyes where my strong suit, in appearance, they were far from perfect for what they were designed to do, but because of their very light brown color, many called them "cat eyes".  I have aged and I don't much like that young vibrant girl. My Mother was beautiful. My saving grace when I was young was being patient, waiting for the day I would be as beautiful as she was. By the time I realized that was not going to happen, it no longer mattered.

All of this is just backstory. I just finished a Zoom gathering. I have a love hate relationship with Zoom. I hate that the camera is on you the whole time, and since I am pre Facebook, I don't like looking at myself. My Mother was with me during the gathering, so I focused on her when my eyes were drawn back to our frame.

I noticed something watching her. She looks old. She is 87 just a few months shy of 88, so she earned her wrinkles, though to be true, she really doesn't have many, and she doesn't have many gray hairs either. She was a cornflower blonde when she was a little girl, but it is a few shades darker and very thin now.

When I first noticed how old she looked, it made me a little sad, because I knew I was looking at myself. I am only about 20 years younger than she is, but when I stopped feeling for myself, I noticed something else. Her beauty. She looked almost regal. She held her head erect, her smile was genuine and dazzling. She spoke with authority, and all listened. She made us laugh with little effort, and she beamed love.

It is amazing how distorted our vision becomes when we allow our thoughts to interfere. When you look at someone you love. Look with unjaundiced eyes. The beauty our minds can obscure will shine through.