80 year old golfer

[727Sky]

An 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up.
[b]The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy [/b]is in and as sharp as a tack;
[b]'how do you stay in such great physical condition?'[/b]

[b]I'm Italian and I am a golfer,' says Frank, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape.
I'm up well before daylight and out [/b]golfing up and down the fairways.
[b]I have a glass of vino, and all is well.'[/b]




[b]"'Well' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. [/b]
How old was your Father when he died?
 

"Who said he was dead?"

[b]The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and
your Father's still alive. How old is he?'[/b]

[b]'He's 100 years old,' says Frank. 'In fact he golfed [/b]
[b]with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk
and had a little vino and that's why he's still alive. He's Italian [/b]
[b]and he's a golfer, too.'[/b]

[b]'Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure [/b]
[b]there's more to it than that. How about your Father's Father?
How old was he when he died?'[/b]
 


[b]'Who said my grandfather's dead?' [/b]

[b]Stunned, the doctor asks, you mean you're 80 years old [/b]
[b]and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?'[/b]



[b]'He's 118 years old,' says the Old Italian golfer.[/b]

[b]The doctor is getting frustrated at this point,[/b]
[b]'So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?'[/b]

[b]'No, No he couldn't go this morning [/b]
[b]because he's getting married today.'[/b]

[b]At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting [/b]
[b]married? Why would a 118 year- old guy want to get [/b]
[b]married?'[/b]
 

 


'Who said he wanted to?
 

 



                                                                   

[guohua]

@"727Sky" 

'Who said he wanted to?

                                               

           
                             lucky bastard 

[727Sky]

An Old Golfer was hitting his ball from near a water hazard and his club fell into the water.
 
When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"
 
The golfer replied that his club had fallen into the water and he needed the club to have a chance to win the tournament and supplement his meager pension.
 
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden club.
 
"Is this your club?" the Lord asked.
 
The golfer replied, "No."
 
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver club.
 
"Is this your club?" the Lord asked.
 
Again, the golfer replied, "No."
 
The Lord went down again and came up with an old iron club. "Is this your club?" the Lord asked.
 
The golfer replied, "Yes, that’s it!"
 
The Lord was pleased with the golfer's honesty and gave him all three clubs to keep, and the golfer won his tournament and went home happy.
 
Sometime later, the golfer was walking with his wife along the water hazard, and she fell into the lake.
 
When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"
 
"Oh, Lord, my woman has fallen into the water!"
 
The Lord went into the water and reappeared with Kate Upton.  "Is this your woman?" the Lord asked.
 

"Yes," cried the golfer.
 
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
 
The golfer replied, "Oh, forgive me Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'No' to Kate Upton, you would have come up with Jennifer Anniston. Then if I said 'No' to her, you would have come up with my woman. Had I then said 'Yes,' you would have given me all three. And Lord, I am an old man not able to take care of all three women in a way that they deserve... so that's why I said 'Yes' to Kate Upton.
 
And God was pleased.
 
The moral of this story is:
 
If a golfer ever tells a lie, it is for a good and honorable reason and only out of consideration for others.

[guohua]

@"727Sky" 
Aren't You a Golfer? 

[727Sky]

@"727Sky" 
Aren't You a Golfer? 

Some people think so but to be honest I am fading fast. Last year I shot in the 60s a few times and many scores of even par or less.... this year I am lucky to shoot even par of 72. I am tired of getting so friggen old....losing distance and actually having to think about golf stuff..

 One thing about getting old is every day is a new day because you do not remember what worked last week much less yesterday !! hahahah

[gordi]

HaHaHa!!!

Nice One @"727Sky" 

[BIAD]

An Old Golfer was hitting his ball from near a water hazard and his club fell into the water...

Another fine example of mirth from 727Sky and I do not need Snopes to understand this as a fact.
(I'm still giggling!)

[hounddoghowlie]

a insurance brooker was given a all expenses paid vacation by his company to japan for being the top brooker.
on his first night there another brooker met him at the hotel he was staying in and took him out to dinner with two japanese  women that
didn't speak english very well.

the first brooker and his date took to each other fairly well and wound up back in his room doing what comes natural for men and women, when all of a sudden she starts yelling and screaming a certain phrase over and over again in japanese. he thought she was giving hi praise for his performance, as she kept on saying it as she left the next morning.

the two brookers had decided to play a round of golf that afternoon, when they teed off, the the second brooker hit the ball all the way up on the green just about a foot from the hole.

the first brooker thought he would impress his friend with the new words he heard last night and that morning and repeated them to his friend.

he said them and his friend turned around and said what do you mean wrong hole.