09-14-2018, 05:28 AM
[VIT2018] Crowd Control
They’re coming again. All of them, the jogger who used to run past my door every morning, rain or shine, in his bright yellow skin-tight pants… the mother who I sometimes see pushing a stroller… the fat guy who used to hit on me every time I had the misfortune of leaving my apartment at the same time he left his. I showed them all, didn’t I?
This happens all the time. Every year about this time, they all come around to ruin my day. You know, I never believed the veil got thinner around Halloween until all this started. Hell, I never believed in the veil or anything supposedly on the other side of it until a few years ago.
Thirteen years ago... there, I said it. Why couldn’t they all just leave me alone? I didn’t deserve to be treated like that, I was just trying to shut them up, make them all go away. Maybe I went too far… but, anyway…it started with the jogger guy.
I’m not the most beautiful thing in the world, but even ugly girls need a break every now and then. He could have gone right by and never looked at me, but this one particular day he just had to glance down at his watch… just as I stepped down off the last step of my apartment building. We crashed, we fell, he cursed and I cried. I landed on top of the pile that the neighbor’s Great Dane always left in the little patch of flowers beside our steps.
“Why don’t you get out of the way, fat ass?” Several people turned to see what monstrosity this fine fellow might be addressing. “You take up the whole damn sidewalk!” As he gracefully leaped to his feet, he hurled one last javelin through me. “Damn you’re gross! Stay out of my way from now on, nobody wants to see you anyway!”
He continued jogging down the street, leaving me sitting there with tears all over my face and fresh dog poop all over my freshly ironed blouse I was hoping to wear to work. I decided to pick myself up out of the little flower bed and go back inside to change my clothes. I would be late, but there was no way I was wearing dog poop to work. As I turned to go back up the stairs, a snooty young mother that passed by my apartment building most days took one look at me… then at my blouse. She twisted her face into contortions that I didn’t even know were possible, then looked at me as if I were contagious.
She jerked the stroller, most likely containing her bitch-in-training, away from me so hard she almost threw her out. “Eeewww, you’re disgusting! What is the matter with you?” The smaller version of the bitchy young mother started to wail like the siren on a fire engine speeding to a four-alarm fire. Bitchy mama shoved the stroller past me and on down the street, muttering insults way beyond my capacity to overhear her.
I sobbed and lowered my gaze as I slowly climbed the steps. Maybe I should just go inside and never come out again. Maybe I really am disgusting, and nobody wants to see me. Every insult I’d ever had hurled at me came flooding back, even some from elementary school. As I stood there sobbing, dabbing myself off with a wet rag, the rage began.
I swallowed my rage and barely made it through that day without screaming. So relieved to be heading home, I walked slower than normal, trying to calm down and salvage a bit of peace for myself. SOMEHOW I was going to pull it all together. SOMEHOW I would come out of this with a smile on my face… I just didn’t know how soon.
Halfway up the steps leading into my apartment building, here came fat boy. He exhaled stale tobacco smoke directly into my face, and asked, “How’d you like to come over to my place? You look so tired. Let me make it all better for you.” I shook my head and tried to go to the left, around him and up to my peacefully quiet, dark apartment. He moved in front of me. “What’s the matter, you in a hurry or something?”
I moved to the right… same thing. “I mean, it’s not like there’s a line at your door or anything. You certainly can’t be choosy, looking like you do.” That. Was. It. I shoved him out of my way, knocking him halfway across the railing as I ran past him up the steps. “Fat bitch!” He grabbed at my arm but I was too fast for him. Fat girls can move fast when they’re inspired.
Once I was safely inside my apartment the tears started flowing again. This only made me furious, and I began plotting and planning my revenge. Every last one of them would pay for their sick verbal… and even physical… abuse. I expanded my plans to include even my boss, and every other school yard bully I’d had to put up with. I attacked my planned revenge with reckless abandon that night, deciding on the how, the when and all the grisly little details.
The next day I sprang into action. I had to plan everything just so. I sure didn’t want to get caught before my revenge was complete. HAHA, every one of them would be so sorry for the way they had treated me… ALL OF THEM! First I called in sick, which gave me the utmost satisfaction. Yep, I was sick alright… sick of that job! Then I moved on to the finer details.
That evening, my plans for revenge were complete. Everything had been finalized, and now it was time to carry out the event I had orchestrated so well. I walked up the smaller stairs leading to the roof, to check out the wonderful sunset that was glowing in the distance. I always loved to sit outside on the roof at night by myself, watching the lights and listening to the sounds of happy people as they made their way down my street. Tonight it would be different sounds I would hear.
“Oh no, please!”… “Oh dear God, what are you doing”?... “Please, don’t do it!”
See, they’re all coming again. They show up every year around this time. Every last one of them. They all beg me not to jump, all except that fat bastard that tried to get me to sleep with him. He comes out of his apartment to see what all the fuss is about. “Go ahead, you fat bitch. Jump, splatter your ugly self all over the sidewalk!”
Just like every year before, the same thoughts run through my head. I see the same crowd staring up at me. Ironic, nobody wanted to see me before, but now they ALL see me! ME, you’re all going to pay attention to ME now!
As my feet left contact with mortal earth for the last time, I sincerely hoped I landed on him.
They’re coming again. All of them, the jogger who used to run past my door every morning, rain or shine, in his bright yellow skin-tight pants… the mother who I sometimes see pushing a stroller… the fat guy who used to hit on me every time I had the misfortune of leaving my apartment at the same time he left his. I showed them all, didn’t I?
This happens all the time. Every year about this time, they all come around to ruin my day. You know, I never believed the veil got thinner around Halloween until all this started. Hell, I never believed in the veil or anything supposedly on the other side of it until a few years ago.
Thirteen years ago... there, I said it. Why couldn’t they all just leave me alone? I didn’t deserve to be treated like that, I was just trying to shut them up, make them all go away. Maybe I went too far… but, anyway…it started with the jogger guy.
I’m not the most beautiful thing in the world, but even ugly girls need a break every now and then. He could have gone right by and never looked at me, but this one particular day he just had to glance down at his watch… just as I stepped down off the last step of my apartment building. We crashed, we fell, he cursed and I cried. I landed on top of the pile that the neighbor’s Great Dane always left in the little patch of flowers beside our steps.
“Why don’t you get out of the way, fat ass?” Several people turned to see what monstrosity this fine fellow might be addressing. “You take up the whole damn sidewalk!” As he gracefully leaped to his feet, he hurled one last javelin through me. “Damn you’re gross! Stay out of my way from now on, nobody wants to see you anyway!”
He continued jogging down the street, leaving me sitting there with tears all over my face and fresh dog poop all over my freshly ironed blouse I was hoping to wear to work. I decided to pick myself up out of the little flower bed and go back inside to change my clothes. I would be late, but there was no way I was wearing dog poop to work. As I turned to go back up the stairs, a snooty young mother that passed by my apartment building most days took one look at me… then at my blouse. She twisted her face into contortions that I didn’t even know were possible, then looked at me as if I were contagious.
She jerked the stroller, most likely containing her bitch-in-training, away from me so hard she almost threw her out. “Eeewww, you’re disgusting! What is the matter with you?” The smaller version of the bitchy young mother started to wail like the siren on a fire engine speeding to a four-alarm fire. Bitchy mama shoved the stroller past me and on down the street, muttering insults way beyond my capacity to overhear her.
I sobbed and lowered my gaze as I slowly climbed the steps. Maybe I should just go inside and never come out again. Maybe I really am disgusting, and nobody wants to see me. Every insult I’d ever had hurled at me came flooding back, even some from elementary school. As I stood there sobbing, dabbing myself off with a wet rag, the rage began.
I swallowed my rage and barely made it through that day without screaming. So relieved to be heading home, I walked slower than normal, trying to calm down and salvage a bit of peace for myself. SOMEHOW I was going to pull it all together. SOMEHOW I would come out of this with a smile on my face… I just didn’t know how soon.
Halfway up the steps leading into my apartment building, here came fat boy. He exhaled stale tobacco smoke directly into my face, and asked, “How’d you like to come over to my place? You look so tired. Let me make it all better for you.” I shook my head and tried to go to the left, around him and up to my peacefully quiet, dark apartment. He moved in front of me. “What’s the matter, you in a hurry or something?”
I moved to the right… same thing. “I mean, it’s not like there’s a line at your door or anything. You certainly can’t be choosy, looking like you do.” That. Was. It. I shoved him out of my way, knocking him halfway across the railing as I ran past him up the steps. “Fat bitch!” He grabbed at my arm but I was too fast for him. Fat girls can move fast when they’re inspired.
Once I was safely inside my apartment the tears started flowing again. This only made me furious, and I began plotting and planning my revenge. Every last one of them would pay for their sick verbal… and even physical… abuse. I expanded my plans to include even my boss, and every other school yard bully I’d had to put up with. I attacked my planned revenge with reckless abandon that night, deciding on the how, the when and all the grisly little details.
The next day I sprang into action. I had to plan everything just so. I sure didn’t want to get caught before my revenge was complete. HAHA, every one of them would be so sorry for the way they had treated me… ALL OF THEM! First I called in sick, which gave me the utmost satisfaction. Yep, I was sick alright… sick of that job! Then I moved on to the finer details.
That evening, my plans for revenge were complete. Everything had been finalized, and now it was time to carry out the event I had orchestrated so well. I walked up the smaller stairs leading to the roof, to check out the wonderful sunset that was glowing in the distance. I always loved to sit outside on the roof at night by myself, watching the lights and listening to the sounds of happy people as they made their way down my street. Tonight it would be different sounds I would hear.
“Oh no, please!”… “Oh dear God, what are you doing”?... “Please, don’t do it!”
See, they’re all coming again. They show up every year around this time. Every last one of them. They all beg me not to jump, all except that fat bastard that tried to get me to sleep with him. He comes out of his apartment to see what all the fuss is about. “Go ahead, you fat bitch. Jump, splatter your ugly self all over the sidewalk!”
Just like every year before, the same thoughts run through my head. I see the same crowd staring up at me. Ironic, nobody wanted to see me before, but now they ALL see me! ME, you’re all going to pay attention to ME now!
As my feet left contact with mortal earth for the last time, I sincerely hoped I landed on him.
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