My Friends, DFC needs us

[guohua]

My Friends,, My Family, here at Rogue-Nations we care for each other.

Not long ago I received a PM from Our Very Good Friend and Fellow Family Member "DuckforcoveR" that his Father (Jim) has passed away.
So, So Very Sad.
I'll post part of the PM.

Hi there, I'm very sorry that I have been gone for a few days. I'm on sporadically but haven't had much free time. 


I'm probably going to be gone for a few more days now and I just wanted to give you a head's up. My dad didn't show up for work today and his boss (I have known the guy my whole life) called me at work around 7:30am to let me know that he didn't show up and wasn't answering his phone. I raced down to Milwaukee (about 30 minutes south of me) and ended up finding him collapsed on the floor. His heart just gave out on him, I couldn't revive him (and neither could the paramedics). 

Please remember his father in each of your own special way tonight or today for some of you.
His Fathers name was Jim and I and my husband have already started lighting candles and incense for Jim and DFC and his family.
As soon as I complete this post, we are both going to meditate and send as much Love and Comforting Energy as the two of us can towards our Friend DFC and his Family.
  

[gordi]

I'm so sorry to hear this sad news Duck.
I will be thinking of you and yours over the coming days.

We're here if you need us bro.

G

[BIAD]

Thinking of you and yours at this time, DFC.

Respects.

[Mystic Wanderer]

Losing a parent is hard, especially when it's unexpected.  My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

[Wallfire]

To lose someone close is a pain that hurts deep in the heart. Perhaps time heals the pain, perhaps time helps us understand that we should be happy for the time we had together and not think too much about what could of been.
All words are empty till the person who said them fills them with meaning, and if your fathers words give you love and wisdom them he has done good.
No one but you knows your pain, but many know what your pain is like so you are not alone.

[senona]

No amount of words can fill the void of losing your Father, but I am sorry.


Just know that we are here for you.

My sympathies for your loss, truly.
But he will always be with you through your memories.

[DuckforcoveR]

Hello all. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the warm messages during all of this. There is nothing in my life that’s come close to the emptiness right now but I just need to focus on filling it back up with positive experiences and memories. The last 2 weeks I’ve basically beat down grief and sadness thinking “I have to stay strong for my kids, wife, sisters, work, etc.” and I’m fairly certain that’s not the healthiest way of doing things. Time will tell, but I’m sure it’s going to come out at some point.
 
It’s also a good lesson of “be careful what you wish for”, one of those “THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!” scenarios. In 2001 after school, it seemed like 2 times a year my friends and classmates were dropping like flies. I went to maybe a dozen funerals in 5 years (graduating class was only 75 people) and it took an emotional toll. I buried that as well (by going to work, it’s what dad did so why not me?) but every time I picked up the phone to my mom saying “Honey, I have some bad news” my heart would race with that fear of “who now? Dad?!”
 
I made my mom promise me that no matter what, nobody is to call me and break the news about dad over the phone. It was a fear that I had for years, thinking I would be at the store and a random call would shatter everything (while I’m in front of everybody).
 
Well, the universe listened, I didn’t have to find out from a phone call…
 
But with that said, this is something we all have to deal with eventually. I got to talk to all of my dad’s friends at the funeral (even the ones from the 70’s – those were some great stories!) and it made me realize that this is the way it’s supposed to be. Some of his friends came close to burying their children (and some did): cancer, accidents, etc. Children are supposed to bury their parents and in that respect, I am fortunate (and so was my dad) that all of his children and grandchildren were gathered last Sunday to say goodbye to him.
 
My dad had really bad scoliosis his whole life. Doctor’s told him he wouldn’t live past 30 (he passed away at 2 months shy of 60) so he beat the odds his entire life. But because of his back, he was always fearful that his spine would twist too far one day and he’d be paralyzed. This led to more than a few nights were I was having a few with dad and he made me promise to hire a hitman if he was ever bedridden so that “nobody needs to come wipe me every day”. He was stubborn until the end.
 
I went on a bit long there, sorry, it’s comforting to write. But thank you all again, it means the world to me to have people help me through this. Some day I’ll do a world tour on my Cessna and thank you all in person over a Pabst (note – I don’t own a Cessna  )

[BIAD]

...This led to more than a few nights were I was having a few with dad and he made me promise to hire a hitman
if he was ever bedridden so that “nobody needs to come wipe me every day”. He was stubborn until the end...

You mean he was a man and I mean that with all respect.
It'll take a while, DFC, but we're here if you ever need to lean.

[guohua]

@"DuckforcoveR" 

We love and Respect YOU!
Your Dad Raised A GREAT Family.

[Sol]

Hi DFC and my apologies for not responding to this earlier.

Hang in there, my friend. I can tell - from experience as my Dad was my closest friend when he passed away - that you will heal in time. The scar remains, along with the good memories but the intense pain goes away, in due time.

You and your family remain in my prayers during this hard time.

Marc.