That Feeling...That Moment

[FlyingClayDisk]

Funny cause lately I wake up every day and I have that feeling/ moment completely opposite of yours every waking second. It's actually quite painful and depressing and it don't go away.

As did I.  Not so long ago either.  Not so very long ago at all.  In fact, I just commented to the wife today about what a truly dark place I've come from over the past two years.  And, you know, it's not like some religious rebirth or anything like that, some sudden revelation of "Positive Mental Attitude" will fix everything.  Neither is the case.

The facts are, there's a lot of really bad stuff going down right now.  Some of it might not all work out okay in the end.  Not "okay" at all.

In fact, it is your reply here specifically which is the very inspiration for what I put in the OP.  I didn't know what would happen in the next moment, but I knew what was happening in that moment...and it was good.  No matter what happened after that, if I captured that memory forever it would always be a mental keepsake of something good that happened in life.

Contrast this with casting a dark cloud over every present second worrying about what the next might bring.

Hey, I know pain (boy do I), both physical and mental anquish...and man, I've been through it over the past couple years.  Many of us all have been through the mental part of it, but when you add in the physical elements, it can get pretty depressing and overwhelming.

At one point I even discussed with my wife the idea of possibly going to see someone about some of my concerns.  Knowing 2-3 psychologists and therapists who are spouses of some of my employees and colleagues, and kind of knowing how that whole experience "rolls"...there was one question I couldn't answer.  It would be the first question anyone would ask too..."Why are you here?". 

At face value, such a question seems so innocuous, so innocent and simple, but in reality it is a very deep question.  And, when I started to think about the answer I might give, I realized that the help I thought I was looking for was really contained in that very answer...if I only dug deep enough, and was honest and realistic enough, with myself in answering it.

I would have been there because I'd forgotten how to, well, enjoy the moment for what it was.  And, I was allowing my negative attitude to cloud, even diminish, my own future.  Analysis never gives you the answer, they always make you find the answer yourself.  Why? Because they can't give you an answer they don't have.  Only a mind reader could.  So, what they do is help to give you the tools to find the answers.  Now, if those answers are both real, and overwhelmingly negative, then there is a different area of analysis which is required and that is a far different world where what people think is manipulated in some cases with chemicals and the like to achieve a more acceptable behavior (regardless if it truly 'changes' the underlying thought). 

I think all of the items noted above are reasons why people get into trouble with drugs (illegal and prescription)  (which is another post altogether).