What happened to "soccer"?

[DISRAELI]

It's all because of cellular phones, texting and french fries stuck between the seats.

Personally, I blame it all on Chrysler Motors and Lee Iaccoca!  It was the beginning of the great downfall of society in general.

Now, right about now you're likely wondering..."WTF is this dude talking about???" ...right?  Well...

It all happened so fast, and all at once; America failed to take notice.  First that cigar-smokin' Lee Iaccoca dude invented the Gawdforsaken mini-van in about 1983 or so.  And not long afterwards Motorola introduced the cell phone.  Texting followed shortly after that.  It didn't take long before that orange mushroom cloud on the horizon signaled the birth of the inevitable conclusion, the birth of the diabolical "Soccer-Mom" and the nuclear family complete with 2.3 children, all bouncing off the ceiling from their sugar-high of a Happy Meal with Chicken McNuggets and French, erm, American Fries which could slide down into the black hole recesses between the seats.

Suddenly, the same people who made their kids wear helmets on their bikes, and riding the bus too dangerous, also made sports like FOOTball socially unacceptable.  But just eliminating it from people's vocabulary wasn't enough.  No, football had to not only be eradicated, but also replaced with something else, "football" of a different kind...soccer.

And there you have it.

I'm still trying to work out the logic here. I think you are saying that the soccer-mom phenomenon made non-soccer unacceptable, so that it got replaced by soccer. Why didn't the soccer-mom make soccer unacceptable?
And in the words of a question asked regularly at soccer stadiums; "Who ate all the pies?"

Ed Zachary!  No idea what happened to all the pies, but the reason Soccer-Mom made non-soccer unacceptable was because Captain Spock (or somebody) texted them that traditional 'football' was too "violent", and their sissy-boy children should be playing soccer instead, but the term "Soccer" sounded too much like "Sock Her" (which is probably exactly what should have happened to the original Soccer-mom), and so soccer got rebranded as football in the US.  This, despite the fact, 'soccer' had been called 'football' in Europe and South America for ages before Soccer-mom shat all over everything.  But then again, Soccer-Mom was never really very intellectual anyway, so she just went with it because the ends justify the means.

Incidentally, the standard answer to the question is "YOU ate all the pies!"