10-09-2021, 02:05 PM
Definitely off topic and ranty. But I have to let it out.
Background: I am going to school. I have a lot of GI Bill money sitting out there so why not? Thus the primary reason for my current educational endeavor is financial. Crucify me if you want. I am taking a program I am not particularly interested in but it is all on-line. With the price of gas what it is and all the C19 BS going on, on-line is perfect. No wasting my time/money driving around and no playing masky-masky-jabby-jabby. Still, I give it 100%.
Problem: I find the older I get, the less I am able to communicate effectively. Additionally, I struggle trying to understand how/why people do what they do.
I won't bore whomever decides to read this with all the nitty-gritty. To make it short, I had a disagreement with one of my instructors over an assignment. The instructions for the thing were demonstrably unreconcilable with the grading criteria. I spoke up, provided evidence, and voiced my opinion. Did my best to be tactful and take the high road. For my effort, I got gas lit. Was told maybe I did not read things sufficiently. It would be too much work to make adjustments.
I let it go because in the end, it's not that important. Not worth pursuing further. I just chalked it up to good information about to know about that person moving forward. But it really p***ed me off. It resonated big time with the problems I mentioned above.
A big problem for me was spending my adult life in the military. It's a different culture. They work differently. It's not all perfect to be sure but they do stress integrity and being direct when speaking. When I come across a situation like the above, it hits me viscerally. I find it disrespectful to me, to themselves, and the propriety of the circumstances. It is a big red flag that something is not healthy. A danger. But this is just me. My take on the matter. I am finding many people see it as business as usual.
Part of me knows I cannot dwell on this one person. She is what she is. A simple problem really. I now know I cannot trust her to demonstrate simple integrity and honesty when push comes to shove. No worries. I will continue to turn in my work and try my best. If a discrepancy occurs, I just know I will be on the short end.
But another part of me wants to step away from the situation. I need to be true to my convictions and demonstrate I will not participate at that level and drop the class.
So where do I go? It's just one discussion for one class for cripes sake! I am coming out ahead financially on the matter and learning a few things to boot. But I feel weak and sinful letting it be. The two contrary feelings are sitting there in my head and my heart together. As happy as can be. Smiling at me.
Background: I am going to school. I have a lot of GI Bill money sitting out there so why not? Thus the primary reason for my current educational endeavor is financial. Crucify me if you want. I am taking a program I am not particularly interested in but it is all on-line. With the price of gas what it is and all the C19 BS going on, on-line is perfect. No wasting my time/money driving around and no playing masky-masky-jabby-jabby. Still, I give it 100%.
Problem: I find the older I get, the less I am able to communicate effectively. Additionally, I struggle trying to understand how/why people do what they do.
I won't bore whomever decides to read this with all the nitty-gritty. To make it short, I had a disagreement with one of my instructors over an assignment. The instructions for the thing were demonstrably unreconcilable with the grading criteria. I spoke up, provided evidence, and voiced my opinion. Did my best to be tactful and take the high road. For my effort, I got gas lit. Was told maybe I did not read things sufficiently. It would be too much work to make adjustments.
I let it go because in the end, it's not that important. Not worth pursuing further. I just chalked it up to good information about to know about that person moving forward. But it really p***ed me off. It resonated big time with the problems I mentioned above.
A big problem for me was spending my adult life in the military. It's a different culture. They work differently. It's not all perfect to be sure but they do stress integrity and being direct when speaking. When I come across a situation like the above, it hits me viscerally. I find it disrespectful to me, to themselves, and the propriety of the circumstances. It is a big red flag that something is not healthy. A danger. But this is just me. My take on the matter. I am finding many people see it as business as usual.
Part of me knows I cannot dwell on this one person. She is what she is. A simple problem really. I now know I cannot trust her to demonstrate simple integrity and honesty when push comes to shove. No worries. I will continue to turn in my work and try my best. If a discrepancy occurs, I just know I will be on the short end.
But another part of me wants to step away from the situation. I need to be true to my convictions and demonstrate I will not participate at that level and drop the class.
So where do I go? It's just one discussion for one class for cripes sake! I am coming out ahead financially on the matter and learning a few things to boot. But I feel weak and sinful letting it be. The two contrary feelings are sitting there in my head and my heart together. As happy as can be. Smiling at me.