11-08-2017, 10:10 PM
(a Special thanks to dukefnord .. Inspiration of stuck in a TV show.. So I picked one I do not watch)
Please note I wrote this on a different site but have decided to share here to see if my skills have been bounced to the positive
The idea here was you got put in the body of someone in a tv show
PS I have not watched a single episode of Game of thrones
"No.. No.. Medevil setting.." A teenager looks around and sees a man on a horse, "Sean Bean.. No.. No.. GoT.. F#$% this!!!"
Hiding as the horses go by, the teen swallows hard.. Quietly he sneaks past several people..
"Ok.. I remember the list.. Currency, Food, weapons.." Pausing for second, "Transportation.. F#$%.. I have not ridden a horse since I was a pre-teen.."
Stopping and hiding again..
"Eddard," A woman with long hair walks by calling out..
"That looks like.. I have no clue.. I really should have watched this D@#$ show with my wife.. Let me see.. Sean Bean dies in the first .. No second season.. F#$%.. Ok pre Zombie S@#$.. Who the F#$% did I get Stirling'ed into?" Shaking his head as he snuck around a corner, "I.. Wait.. Why run.. Lets find out who I am.. "
Taking a deep breath, the teen man steps out..
"Theon," Sansa Stark is startled..
"Theon.. Doesnt ring a bell.. Must be somebody unimportant," Not Theon breathes a sigh of relief.. "You are?"
Eyes narrow, "Have you gone mad.."
"I.. I hit my head," Not Theon lies convincingly.. "I.. I am Theon?"
"Stop being stupid," Sansa responds as the woman who called out Eddard earlier walks in with her husband..
"Lord Stark," Not Theon speaks.. "I.."
"Lord Stark," Eddard laughs.. "Theon.. You are trying to develop a sense of humor.."
"He claims he was hit on the head and doesnt know who I am," Sansa Stark shakes her head.. "You are not funny Theon.."
"Lady.. I dont know who you are.. I recognize Lord Stark," Not Theon raised his shoulders in an I do not know..
Catelyn chuckles, "I supose you dont know.."
"Uhm.. Lord Starks mistress," Theon whispered.. "I promise I wont tell his wife mam.."
Eddard Stark burst out laughing as Catelynn gives him an evil look, "My lady.." Eddard Stark slaps Catelyn on the A$$, "Young Theon is correct we better not tell my wife.."
Catelyn slaps Lord Stark, "That is not funny.. After Jon.."
"My lady.. Jon is not lord Starks child.. It is his sisters.. I remember that," Theon covers his mouth.. "S#$%.. You are his wife.. F#$%.. Listen.."
Catelyn turns wide eyed, "Jon is not yours.."
"I.. I am sorry.. He cant tell you because.. I heard one of the servants who died a while back speaking of it.. It.. They would kill your nephew," Theon looks down.. "F@#$.."
"Eddard," Catelyn turns.. "You would let me think.. You never dishonored me.."
"Lord Stark would do the same for all his Family Lady stark.. " Not Theon shakes his head, "I have told no one.. It is all mix.. I.."
"Catelyn," eddard Stark takes a deep breath..
Not Theon falls to his knees, "It hurts.." Shaking his head in pain.. "AGH!!"
"Theon," Eddard Stark checks on Not Theon.. "What happened?"
"Father.. He said he hit his head," Sansa responded..
"Sansa.. Go get Luwin," Catelyn spoke shaking her..
_________________________________________________________
"Theon.." Eddard Stark came into the room, "We need to talk.."
Several men bowed their heads and started to leave, but Theon raised his hand.. "First Uncle Ned.." Not Theon waived his hand..
Three huge men lifted a chest, "Lord Stark.."
The heavy chest is sat in front of Eddard Stark, "What is this Theon?"
"Why your cut Uncle Ned.. It is called taxes.." Not Theon smiled, "I set the the rate at a flat 10%.."
The chest is opened, "I am not for..Taxes.." Eddard paused, "This is thousands of gold Dragons.. This.."
One of the merchants sounded worried, "Lord Greyjoy.. I told you we set it to low.. Lord Stark.. We apologize.."
"Too low.." Eddard is handed a book by not Theon, "This.."
"A ledger Uncle Ned.." Not Theon smiles evilly, "A complete Account of My businesses profit loss statement.."
Ned Stark's eyes glass over, "What.. "
"Oh your here about the five hundred slaves I bought.." Not Theon walked over to his desk, "I have already freed them.. I am offering them apprenticeships.."
"You.. Wait, freed them," Ned Stark was completely lost..
"It is the policy of the merchants guld that we are allowed to buy slaves.. We free them and give them jobs.. " The same merchants was nervous, "We will of course listen if your lord has.."
"You free them Theon," Ned Stark relaxed.. "Policy.."
"Yes, Uncle Ned.. The Merchants guild I formed.. We do not tolerate slave owners in our ranks.. " Not Theon sighs, "We help where we can but.. It will never be enough.."
Catelyn was listening, "Thank god.. We thought you were running slaves.."
"Auntie Catelyn," Not Theon snapped his fingers..
One of the merchants opened a box, "My lady.. We call them Catelyn's.."
"Catelyn's.." Looking at the boots, "Theon.. Wait you own the shops that have sprung up?"
"Auntie you can have those free.. If you were them.." Theon smiled, "Try them on.. If you endorse them you get ten per cent per sale.."
Catelyn looks at the boots, "Theon.. Wait.. I get part of the money.. You mean in Taxes.."
"No Auntie.. Ten percent post cost.. As the Lady of winterh#$$ here it goes directly to you.. If you approve," Theon motioned as a chair was sat in front of her.. "Let me know if they are comfortable.."
Eddard looks through the books, "You own all these merchant places?"
Sansa comes in with Ayra.. She sees the gold, "That wow.."
"I got something for you two as well," Theon smiles as boxes are brought out..
Sansa takes her box and opens it, "What is this?"
"It is called a bra.. You were it under your clothes for support of your breast.. The Shoes with your mother's picture are comfortable.. And the cloth shorts are called panties," Theon smiled..
Arya opened her box, "Toys!!"
"They are educational.. It is a set of all the animals of Westerios.. The others are picture books.." Theon smiles as Arya Stark takes out the toys, "The last one is a doll.."
Ayra hugs Theon, "All mine.."
"I will need to know what you think," Theon smiles when he sees Jon.. "I have something for everyone.."
A thin curved sword in a scabbard is brought over to the Present Jon Snow..
"Wow.." Jon takes the sword, "It doesnt look nice.."
The large men take out a long board and hold it..
"Slash it," theon smiles..
Ned nods his head as Jon takes the sword properly.. He slices down and the sword cleanly cuts through the board..
"That sword," Ned stark inspects the wood.. "A clean cut.. Theon.."
"If your interested in buying them.. They are for sale," theon smiles as he looks back at the chest of gold.. "We have to pay the men who will make them.."
Narrowing his eyes, "How much?"
"My lord for the same cost as it cost your lordship.. We provide a superior product," The merchant spoke.. "Not to mention the new armor.."
Catelyn stands up, "Ok.. These.."
"Padding Auntie Catelyn," Theon smiles.. "I'll make more money off those and a few other things.." Taking a deep breath, "Do remember the talk we had over how to get pregnant.. Well .. What if I told you I had products for women.. Something a woman can wear to absorb the blood from her monthly.."
"Theon.. You will make more money off of the swords," Eddard commented..
"Actually.. I will be making less then one percent on the swords and armor.. Not with out a more secure tax base," Theon shook his head..
"You know how much it cost for each of the swords? And the armors," Ned Stark looked at Theon..
Theon motions for everyone to be lead out except Catelynn, Eddard, and Theon..
Theon sits a different book on his desk, "I know how much everyone is paying and what they buy.. From what I have been told the Throne is deep in debt to the Lannisters.."
Everyone looks at Theon for the statement..
Eddard sets the log book he is holding on the desk corner.. He sits down and starts reading through, "I.. Show me all of this.."
Theon begins explaining and answering questions..
After three hours of discussion Eddard leans back, "Enough.. You put this together based just on.."
"The cost it is based on time, money, and people.. The Lannister have an ungodly lead," Theon grimly speaks.. "We can take them.. It is why I set the price so low.."
"So how are we going to keep the swords and weapons out of everyone elses hands," Catelyn Stark sits across from her husband? "Theon.. This is.."
"They are coming for house stark.. The numbers show it.. Their are things we can do.. As for keeping it out of their hands.." Theon turns arounds, "We are not.. We are going to sell it to them at a medium price.."
He tosses a different book to Ned Stark..
"That would be suicide," Catelyn is wide eyed..
Opening the book Eddard looks up after a few pages, "This will.."
"They will go right through the armor.. They will spend thousands and thousands on the armor.." Theon smiled, "And when they attack.. We deploy our new weapons.. They have been tested for centuries.. I bought the designs off the Alchemist.."
"You.. What is your game," Eddard Stark coldly ask shutting the book..
"Not dying in the middle of medevil bullS#$%.." Not Theon spoke, "Right now.. Make me your Prime Minister.. I will set up a beauracracy.. A middle class.. Expand the tax base.." Sighing the look n his face, "For instance.. Let me set up a court of law.. Based on your rules.. The judges are appointed by you for crimes.. "
"The command theory idea you spoke of to Jon," Catelyn Stark spoke up.. "These judges operate in Eddards name trained to think like him.. And rule accordingly.."
"How will this stop the Lannisters," Ned Stark puts his hands up in steeple..
"Not immeditely.. It will however provide a stream of income and others will invest in business in your lands.."
"Like the deal for these shoes," Catelyn intelligenty ask?
"I am thinking more then just deals.. We set up hospitals, schools, Orphanages, military training barracks.." Pausing as he sees the cost go through ned's eyes, "Those things require supplies, workers, shipping, warehouses..."
"Which means more taxes.. Which means we can build more weapons.. And it will attract more people who wish to live in winterfall." Ned Stark stands up, "Outline what your duties as Prime Minister would be.."
"Well first I need to walk through what your policies are Uncle Ned.. Same as aunties.." Seeing his confused look, "Well whose names are we putting on the buildings.. She has a prettier face Uncle Ned.. She can sell the policies to the people.." Seeing them look at each other, "Policies.. Ok Law is the guidelines.. Policies are how your adminisitration intends to enact them.."
"Like the roads you keep wanting.." Catelyn narrows her eyes, "It gives you a lot of power Nephew.."
"No mam.. Who do you think is going to smooth talk the wives of the local gentry," Theon tries to not smile.." The ones who run the towns and bigger groups.. Their wives and misters need charity organizations exctra to work through.. Well if your the face of it.. I have only the power to execute the policies.."
"Like the road.. It is very expensive," Ned is standing..
"But if you sell the right to name the roads in the official maps.. Well these new people with money will buy the liscenes to name the road.."
____________________________________________________________________________
Please note I wrote this on a different site but have decided to share here to see if my skills have been bounced to the positive
The idea here was you got put in the body of someone in a tv show
PS I have not watched a single episode of Game of thrones
"No.. No.. Medevil setting.." A teenager looks around and sees a man on a horse, "Sean Bean.. No.. No.. GoT.. F#$% this!!!"
Hiding as the horses go by, the teen swallows hard.. Quietly he sneaks past several people..
"Ok.. I remember the list.. Currency, Food, weapons.." Pausing for second, "Transportation.. F#$%.. I have not ridden a horse since I was a pre-teen.."
Stopping and hiding again..
"Eddard," A woman with long hair walks by calling out..
"That looks like.. I have no clue.. I really should have watched this D@#$ show with my wife.. Let me see.. Sean Bean dies in the first .. No second season.. F#$%.. Ok pre Zombie S@#$.. Who the F#$% did I get Stirling'ed into?" Shaking his head as he snuck around a corner, "I.. Wait.. Why run.. Lets find out who I am.. "
Taking a deep breath, the teen man steps out..
"Theon," Sansa Stark is startled..
"Theon.. Doesnt ring a bell.. Must be somebody unimportant," Not Theon breathes a sigh of relief.. "You are?"
Eyes narrow, "Have you gone mad.."
"I.. I hit my head," Not Theon lies convincingly.. "I.. I am Theon?"
"Stop being stupid," Sansa responds as the woman who called out Eddard earlier walks in with her husband..
"Lord Stark," Not Theon speaks.. "I.."
"Lord Stark," Eddard laughs.. "Theon.. You are trying to develop a sense of humor.."
"He claims he was hit on the head and doesnt know who I am," Sansa Stark shakes her head.. "You are not funny Theon.."
"Lady.. I dont know who you are.. I recognize Lord Stark," Not Theon raised his shoulders in an I do not know..
Catelyn chuckles, "I supose you dont know.."
"Uhm.. Lord Starks mistress," Theon whispered.. "I promise I wont tell his wife mam.."
Eddard Stark burst out laughing as Catelynn gives him an evil look, "My lady.." Eddard Stark slaps Catelyn on the A$$, "Young Theon is correct we better not tell my wife.."
Catelyn slaps Lord Stark, "That is not funny.. After Jon.."
"My lady.. Jon is not lord Starks child.. It is his sisters.. I remember that," Theon covers his mouth.. "S#$%.. You are his wife.. F#$%.. Listen.."
Catelyn turns wide eyed, "Jon is not yours.."
"I.. I am sorry.. He cant tell you because.. I heard one of the servants who died a while back speaking of it.. It.. They would kill your nephew," Theon looks down.. "F@#$.."
"Eddard," Catelyn turns.. "You would let me think.. You never dishonored me.."
"Lord Stark would do the same for all his Family Lady stark.. " Not Theon shakes his head, "I have told no one.. It is all mix.. I.."
"Catelyn," eddard Stark takes a deep breath..
Not Theon falls to his knees, "It hurts.." Shaking his head in pain.. "AGH!!"
"Theon," Eddard Stark checks on Not Theon.. "What happened?"
"Father.. He said he hit his head," Sansa responded..
"Sansa.. Go get Luwin," Catelyn spoke shaking her..
_________________________________________________________
"Theon.." Eddard Stark came into the room, "We need to talk.."
Several men bowed their heads and started to leave, but Theon raised his hand.. "First Uncle Ned.." Not Theon waived his hand..
Three huge men lifted a chest, "Lord Stark.."
The heavy chest is sat in front of Eddard Stark, "What is this Theon?"
"Why your cut Uncle Ned.. It is called taxes.." Not Theon smiled, "I set the the rate at a flat 10%.."
The chest is opened, "I am not for..Taxes.." Eddard paused, "This is thousands of gold Dragons.. This.."
One of the merchants sounded worried, "Lord Greyjoy.. I told you we set it to low.. Lord Stark.. We apologize.."
"Too low.." Eddard is handed a book by not Theon, "This.."
"A ledger Uncle Ned.." Not Theon smiles evilly, "A complete Account of My businesses profit loss statement.."
Ned Stark's eyes glass over, "What.. "
"Oh your here about the five hundred slaves I bought.." Not Theon walked over to his desk, "I have already freed them.. I am offering them apprenticeships.."
"You.. Wait, freed them," Ned Stark was completely lost..
"It is the policy of the merchants guld that we are allowed to buy slaves.. We free them and give them jobs.. " The same merchants was nervous, "We will of course listen if your lord has.."
"You free them Theon," Ned Stark relaxed.. "Policy.."
"Yes, Uncle Ned.. The Merchants guild I formed.. We do not tolerate slave owners in our ranks.. " Not Theon sighs, "We help where we can but.. It will never be enough.."
Catelyn was listening, "Thank god.. We thought you were running slaves.."
"Auntie Catelyn," Not Theon snapped his fingers..
One of the merchants opened a box, "My lady.. We call them Catelyn's.."
"Catelyn's.." Looking at the boots, "Theon.. Wait you own the shops that have sprung up?"
"Auntie you can have those free.. If you were them.." Theon smiled, "Try them on.. If you endorse them you get ten per cent per sale.."
Catelyn looks at the boots, "Theon.. Wait.. I get part of the money.. You mean in Taxes.."
"No Auntie.. Ten percent post cost.. As the Lady of winterh#$$ here it goes directly to you.. If you approve," Theon motioned as a chair was sat in front of her.. "Let me know if they are comfortable.."
Eddard looks through the books, "You own all these merchant places?"
Sansa comes in with Ayra.. She sees the gold, "That wow.."
"I got something for you two as well," Theon smiles as boxes are brought out..
Sansa takes her box and opens it, "What is this?"
"It is called a bra.. You were it under your clothes for support of your breast.. The Shoes with your mother's picture are comfortable.. And the cloth shorts are called panties," Theon smiled..
Arya opened her box, "Toys!!"
"They are educational.. It is a set of all the animals of Westerios.. The others are picture books.." Theon smiles as Arya Stark takes out the toys, "The last one is a doll.."
Ayra hugs Theon, "All mine.."
"I will need to know what you think," Theon smiles when he sees Jon.. "I have something for everyone.."
A thin curved sword in a scabbard is brought over to the Present Jon Snow..
"Wow.." Jon takes the sword, "It doesnt look nice.."
The large men take out a long board and hold it..
"Slash it," theon smiles..
Ned nods his head as Jon takes the sword properly.. He slices down and the sword cleanly cuts through the board..
"That sword," Ned stark inspects the wood.. "A clean cut.. Theon.."
"If your interested in buying them.. They are for sale," theon smiles as he looks back at the chest of gold.. "We have to pay the men who will make them.."
Narrowing his eyes, "How much?"
"My lord for the same cost as it cost your lordship.. We provide a superior product," The merchant spoke.. "Not to mention the new armor.."
Catelyn stands up, "Ok.. These.."
"Padding Auntie Catelyn," Theon smiles.. "I'll make more money off those and a few other things.." Taking a deep breath, "Do remember the talk we had over how to get pregnant.. Well .. What if I told you I had products for women.. Something a woman can wear to absorb the blood from her monthly.."
"Theon.. You will make more money off of the swords," Eddard commented..
"Actually.. I will be making less then one percent on the swords and armor.. Not with out a more secure tax base," Theon shook his head..
"You know how much it cost for each of the swords? And the armors," Ned Stark looked at Theon..
Theon motions for everyone to be lead out except Catelynn, Eddard, and Theon..
Theon sits a different book on his desk, "I know how much everyone is paying and what they buy.. From what I have been told the Throne is deep in debt to the Lannisters.."
Everyone looks at Theon for the statement..
Eddard sets the log book he is holding on the desk corner.. He sits down and starts reading through, "I.. Show me all of this.."
Theon begins explaining and answering questions..
After three hours of discussion Eddard leans back, "Enough.. You put this together based just on.."
"The cost it is based on time, money, and people.. The Lannister have an ungodly lead," Theon grimly speaks.. "We can take them.. It is why I set the price so low.."
"So how are we going to keep the swords and weapons out of everyone elses hands," Catelyn Stark sits across from her husband? "Theon.. This is.."
"They are coming for house stark.. The numbers show it.. Their are things we can do.. As for keeping it out of their hands.." Theon turns arounds, "We are not.. We are going to sell it to them at a medium price.."
He tosses a different book to Ned Stark..
"That would be suicide," Catelyn is wide eyed..
Opening the book Eddard looks up after a few pages, "This will.."
"They will go right through the armor.. They will spend thousands and thousands on the armor.." Theon smiled, "And when they attack.. We deploy our new weapons.. They have been tested for centuries.. I bought the designs off the Alchemist.."
"You.. What is your game," Eddard Stark coldly ask shutting the book..
"Not dying in the middle of medevil bullS#$%.." Not Theon spoke, "Right now.. Make me your Prime Minister.. I will set up a beauracracy.. A middle class.. Expand the tax base.." Sighing the look n his face, "For instance.. Let me set up a court of law.. Based on your rules.. The judges are appointed by you for crimes.. "
"The command theory idea you spoke of to Jon," Catelyn Stark spoke up.. "These judges operate in Eddards name trained to think like him.. And rule accordingly.."
"How will this stop the Lannisters," Ned Stark puts his hands up in steeple..
"Not immeditely.. It will however provide a stream of income and others will invest in business in your lands.."
"Like the deal for these shoes," Catelyn intelligenty ask?
"I am thinking more then just deals.. We set up hospitals, schools, Orphanages, military training barracks.." Pausing as he sees the cost go through ned's eyes, "Those things require supplies, workers, shipping, warehouses..."
"Which means more taxes.. Which means we can build more weapons.. And it will attract more people who wish to live in winterfall." Ned Stark stands up, "Outline what your duties as Prime Minister would be.."
"Well first I need to walk through what your policies are Uncle Ned.. Same as aunties.." Seeing his confused look, "Well whose names are we putting on the buildings.. She has a prettier face Uncle Ned.. She can sell the policies to the people.." Seeing them look at each other, "Policies.. Ok Law is the guidelines.. Policies are how your adminisitration intends to enact them.."
"Like the roads you keep wanting.." Catelyn narrows her eyes, "It gives you a lot of power Nephew.."
"No mam.. Who do you think is going to smooth talk the wives of the local gentry," Theon tries to not smile.." The ones who run the towns and bigger groups.. Their wives and misters need charity organizations exctra to work through.. Well if your the face of it.. I have only the power to execute the policies.."
"Like the road.. It is very expensive," Ned is standing..
"But if you sell the right to name the roads in the official maps.. Well these new people with money will buy the liscenes to name the road.."
____________________________________________________________________________