Shoutbox Wannabe.

[Finspiracy]

@Ancient light

U said it is okay if i wanna talk. Well, it is simple really. And also extremely complicated.

I was already insane before 2020. Then came 2020. Whole world around me went insane. So there are no solid, healthy fixed points i can lean to, when i am shaking and about to fall.

After 2020 i have drank more problematically than ever. That is a lot, take my word for it.

Sometimes i run out of all reactions except laughter. I call it "The Joker Mode" Like the movie... I don't even know what to think about that. I read "New pandemic! Threats of nuclear war!" And i fucking laugh... I think it is not okay. Actually i think that it is a psychological coping mechanism.

It is / was a filter. Corona virus. A filter. Who really stays by my side when the actual shit hits the actual fan. Answer: No one. Absolutely no one. Can't blame them, though. A lunatic beer monster is not exactly the most pleasant company for someone to have.

I am hoping it all gets better but i don't like hope anymore. Seems to only lead to disappointment, every single time.

Thanks for letting me share, have a good day