I believe cats are descended from a planet other than Earth

[hounddoghowlie]

@"hounddoghowlie" 

OMG, that is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read! So accurate too! 

Are you the originator of that, or did you copy it from somewhere else? Just curious. Yeah, cats are a whole different species. One of the things mentioned the Sphinx and there ya go right there with the cat/alien thing. I mean, someone not of this earth had a huge Sphinx built in honor of his cat (owner/master). There’s the proof! 

i wish i could write that good, i read it years ago and it's stayed with me all this time. as i said i can't seem to find the original one i read. most times it has been edited as not to be offensive.

here's one for the dog lovers,

08:00 am — Dog food! My favorite thing!
09:30 am — A car ride! My favorite thing!
09:40 am — A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am — Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm — Milk bones! My favorite thing!
01:00 pm — Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
03:00 pm — Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
05:00 pm — Dinner! My favorite thing!
07:00 pm — Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
08:00 pm — Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm — Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

link for both plus some others jokes: Funny Cat Diary