This is how you take back your streets

[Ninurta]

[quote pid='86300' dateline='1654534921']

Imagine my surprise when I found about an acre of cops.

  Geez - are you serious? That ... and coming outside with a rifle. I'm surprised you're not voting Democrat every election with the rest of the dead guys.

Yup, serious as a heart attack.

I got a feeling someone was outside, and walked back to the bedroom and turned off the light in there so I could see out without anyone seeing in, and sure enough I saw a silhouette crouching around the corner watching my basement door. looked like an ambush in the making to me - which I reckon, in an honest analysis it was - so I snatched up my rifle and headed for the balcony door, where I could get right above them so I would be situated to shoot down on them while they'd have to shoot up at me. Grace asked me where I was going, and I told her I was heading out to shoot a sumbitch, which must have got her curiosity going.

Most critters, people included, never look up. That's why tree stands work for deer hunting. Just my luck one of those cops was a good ol' boy, probably a squirrel hunter in his off time, and he looked up, saw me, and started hollering "gun, gun, gun!" That's when I noticed all the badges, so I hollered back for them to hold their damned horses and ducked back in the door. I laid the rifle down on the sofa right around the door frame when I could retrieve it from if I felt a need, and went back out with my hands up enough for them to see they were empty and said "I reckon we must have something to discuss. I ain't used to unannounced visitors in the night time".

Some of those fellas were still riding their adrenaline rush, and had their guns pointed at me even after they could see I was unarmed at the moment, and that's about when Grace made it to the door. so she comes charging out while we're discussing matters and getting them ironed out, and starts screaming at the cops, something about "this is our goddamned house!" which, really, didn't do much to dissipate the tension. Something about angry screaming women tends to grate on a fellas nerves, and those fellas had their guns on me, so they were the last folks I wanted to make nervous, y'know?

So I told her to get back in the house while we sorted this thing out, but you know how women are - can't tell 'em a damned thing. She just stayed out there pacin' and hollerin' and making things more complicated and nerve-wracking than they needed to be, and insuring that if it went south, I'd be unable to defend myself or even hit the deck fast enough to avoid a bullet.

Once the incident commander figured out why she was upset - and it wasn't hard to figure out, because part of what she was screaming was "they're pointing GUNS at you!" - he had the rest stand down enough that we could talk it through. Turned out they were at the wrong house, and had intended to surround my cousin's house next door, and through some bad directions, it being dark, and a trick of the landscape had surrounded the wrong house.

Meanwhile, during the commotion, my cousin and his son had come out onto THEIR porch to watch the show. Something about a screaming woman had got their attention, I suppose. Once the incident commander got it figured out, a couple deputies walked over and arrested him before he could get back inside, and without incident, and it was all over but the apologies.

To this day, Grace still thinks it's her responsibility to keep folks from shooting me by wracking up their nervous tension when they have guns pointed at me. Can't teach some folks nothin'!

.