If you're going to buried

[Ninurta]

"But there are options and this Lady (whom I'm subscribed to her youtube channel) knows them." 

That is accurate and you can have your own grave diggers, a backhoe or people, and you can have your own coffin or just wrapped. All the Fast action Mortuaries really provide nothing more than drama and theater, none of which is required or a law or ordinance. Yea like what are they going to do ? Pick you up and burry you in a paupers gravesite ?
frankly how many trees are planted above your plot ?  The answer is ............................none right...? There's the 
Neptune Society to consider too.  You might be able to have a funeral pire (a pile of wood on which a corpse is burned as part of a funeral ceremony in some traditions )    in your own place if it's big enough. I live on a 30 acre farm/estate, we could bury me here in a Family cemetery. 
A couple of years ago I didn't have this information and though you had to go through mortician's    .....NOT SO..

The last time I checked, which admittedly was some time ago, here you have to have a sealed coffin inside of a sealed concrete vault if you opt for burial, and you have to go through a mortician. They have also banned the creation of any new family cemeteries. I reckon the Death Industry has or had some pretty high powered lobbyists in Richmond at some point, who locked in a guaranteed source of income for them.

I already have a family cemetery pre-existent ("pre-ban" I reckon) about 500 or 600 meters up the hollow across the road from where I sit, so I won't have to buy a plot in one of the local corporate Death Mills. There is family buried there going all the way back to the original settlers, a couple hundred years ago. It's about 3 acres right on top of the ridge with a lovely view, and it takes a lot of dead folk to fill up 3 acres, so it's not full up yet, and I expect there'll be a spot for me in it.

Across the state line in Tennessee, you can still opt for the cheap burial - wrap you in a sheet and chuck you into a hand dug hole in the ground if that's your wish. They have the "Body farm" over there, too. It's a forensics training ground for students, where they just lay you out on the ground and let the bugs and such eat you, and the students come by every few days to check and record the progress of you decomposition for forensic science.

My second and third wives are both dead, died in NC. The first died of cancer, and was buried. No autopsy necessary as she died in hospice, and I was told she wasn't even embalmed, but there is an embalmer listed on her death certificate, so I don't know for sure whether she was or not.

The third wife died of God only knows what - she lived a rough life, and her family ain't talkin'. They went the ultra cheap route to dispose of her, though. That I do know. They signed her body over to a medical school, where her carcass was cut up like fish bait, and when they were done chopping, they heaped the bits in a pile and set 'em on fire. The med school paid for all of it, and all her cheap ass family had to do was sign on the bottom line.

As a post-script, that particular wife always told me that when she died, she was gonna come back and haunt me. I always asked her what in the hell made her think she was gonna die first, but if it went that way she'd best haunt me naked, to at least make it entertaining, or don't bother haunting me at all. I didn't know she was dead until a couple months after she was gone. I noticed one of her footprints impressed into the carpet of my living room just inside the front door, so I went hunting to see what the the hell was up with that, and found her obituary saying she had died a couple months earlier. There was no mistaking the footprint - she had really tiny feet. Tiniest feet I've ever seen attached to a body with boobs that big. Folks used to ask her how in the hell she even stayed upright. She was 5'2" tall, with a 38E rack, and wore size 5 1/2 kids shoes. I still ain't seen her naked shade, so I reckon she just stopped in to say hi when I wasn't looking and moved on. There was no one, and had been no one, in my house that could have left that small of a foot print, so you do the math on it.

Yup, I took pictures of the footprint for evidence, some with one of my shoes beside it for size comparison, and a couple with a tape measure, but they are really hard to make out without turning the contrast WAY up.

Yeah, I'm irreverent as hell. I just handle death - and life - a little differently from most folks I reckon.

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