PTA and the retired Pilot

[727Sky]

As a local retired pilot, I was asked to address a junior high gathering put on by the PTA.
I had the stage to myself. I talked about staying in school, getting good grades and all that usual bullshit.  Since I had plenty of time, I threw it open for questions.

 
The last one asked was, "Can you give us a couple of your life's philosophical beliefs?"

 
I said, "That's easy. Looking back over my 7 decades, I believe I've spent close to 90% of my earnings on booze and women. The rest I just wasted."
 
I was escorted out without getting to finish my last two rules to live by:
1) If it flies, floats, or f***s, it's cheaper to rent it.
2) If it's got tits or tires, you're gonna have problems with it.
 

 
I hope they invite me back next year so I can finish.
 
 
 

 
The kids need to know this stuff!

I have known many guys who believed all of the above to be true.
1) If it flies, floats, or f***s, it's cheaper to rent it.
Anyone who has been in the military or around a bunch of airline people have heard this

2) If it's got tits or tires, you're gonna have problems with it.




That is the first time I have heard it put that way and I had to think about it to understand just how true it might be...BUT.. Something's are hard to live without even if it is true