Your Most Embarrassing Moment: Volume 1

[LSU2018]

Because it sounds speshuller when I say "Volume 1". 

Anybody wanna share one or more of their most embarrassing moments in life? I have quite a few, but the one that always embarrassed me the most, even more than the time I'd been drinking and passed out on my parents couch (college days) and woke up to my mom screaming my name from the other room because my pants and underwear were down by my ankles, was this one... 

I was in the 10th grade (1996) and had just started dating a girl in one of my classes. If I recall, it was around October because it was cold, but not freezing. So the GF asked me if I wanted to come over for dinner one Friday night. Sure I says. So I go home after school and later that evening I put on some nice khaki pants and a nice shirt and head to her house. After meeting her mom and some of her mom's friends, I go sit outside on the screened in front porch to have a cigarette. Halfway through my smoke, her mom comes out to the porch and asks me if I'd seen the hamburger patties she'd formed and put out there. No ma'am I says to her, Jessica must have brought them in the house already. So her mom says yeah, probably so. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks... When I sat down, I thought I'd sat on a cold cushion. So I ease up and look down, and there sat a plate full of raw patties with the perfect print of my ass going across them. Oooooooooh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit... So when Jessica walked out there, I told her I'd sat on the patties. The patties that her, her sister and brother, her mom, and from what I can remember, about 4 of her mom's friends were all supposed to be eating. My ass had hamburger meat and pink all the way across it. Her mom laughed and reformed them all but that tops my list of embarrassing moments. Being the fart machine that I've always been, I'm just glad I hadn't farted. 

[Mystic Wanderer]

 

Yes, I'd say that would be VERY embarrassing. 

I really can't ... Let me think...    

Maybe the time I was on a date and we made a stop along the way. He was walking toward the front of the car and I walked to the back because I needed to poot very badly. (Yes, I said poot.) I though it would be silent, but it came out like one of those freight trains that have a sputtering engine.

He turned and looked back my way, but quickly realized what the train noise was and turned back. I think he was trying to pretend like he didn't hear here it to save me the embarrassment.

We both got back in the car eventually and acted like nothing had happened.

[RightHereRightNow]

Taking my son's 2 male cats to the vet a month ago to be neutered. To be told afterwards that one was as a matter of fact, a female. For almost a year, not me or my son noticed. We just didn't look at their genital regions, ya know? We caught sight of the black cats testicles, they were huge, we couldn't miss seeing them. We just figured the grey cat was much less well endowed. We got the female cat from my daughter's sister in law, who told us it was a little male kitten and we just accepted it. The embarrassment was colossal

[Schmoe1]

 

Yes, I'd say that would be VERY embarrassing. 

I really can't ... Let me think...    

Maybe the time I was on a date and we made a stop along the way. He was walking toward the front of the car and I walked to the back because I needed to poot very badly. (Yes, I said poot.) I though it would be silent, but it came out like one of those freight trains that have a sputtering engine.

He turned and looked back my way, but quickly realized what the train noise was and turned back. I think he was trying to pretend like he didn't hear here it to save me the embarrassment.

We both got back in the car eventually and acted like nothing had happened.

LOL

Hears poot....

[kdog]

So, I was around 20 years old. Going to college and working the weekends at a hospital stocking supply carts in Central supply. 

I was the only one there, so I would stock the carts then go fuck around until my shift ended.

Every once in awhile , being young and very horny, I would take care of my urges in a place I  thought was safe. 

Well, as I was taking care of business, I started hearing loud, almost fake, coughing. I turned my head, and a few ailes down was a fenced in cage. I could see some maintenance guys down there laughing. 

So, after that , I kind of sneaked in that place, avoiding the maintenance guys. 

And  I found a better spot, in the bath room. 

[Sol]

I was a store manager for many, many years and some people just enjoyed giving me shit for whatever didn't gear up to their entire majestic satisfaction.

One evening, this big woman comes in, she had a problem with a TV she'd bought from us (was more like her not understanding how the thing worked than a defect) and she starts emptying out on me..And on, and on, and on, and on...

I let her yell at me, wiggling my toes and feeling that my pressure is building up.

She starts threatening to bring the TV back unless someone goes to her home to "fix it".

I tell her fine, as I walk across the counter to where she is and put a hand on her shoulder, telling her it'll be fine, with a smile.

As she starts walking towards the door, I follow her and start mimicking her behind her back. Walking like her with a big fat belly, making faces and giving her the fingers from both hands, imitating Mr Bean....





....only to notice that both our reflections are seen in the store window facing us. She was seeing me doing this the whole way through.


Employees behind the counter were killing themselves laughing. I just froze and turned around like nothing happened.

She never said a word. Sent a guy to her home to "fix" a TV that didn't have a problem and never saw her again. Wonder why.


Lesson 101. Look for window reflections before doing something shameful and stupid...

[Wookiep]

I was a store manager for many, many years and some people just enjoyed giving me shit for whatever didn't gear up to their entire majestic satisfaction.

One evening, this big woman comes in, she had a problem with a TV she'd bought from us (was more like her not understanding how the thing worked than a defect) and she starts emptying out on me..And on, and on, and on, and on...

I let her yell at me, wiggling my toes and feeling that my pressure is building up.

She starts threatening to bring the TV back unless someone goes to her home to "fix it".

I tell her fine, as I walk across the counter to where she is and put a hand on her shoulder, telling her it'll be fine, with a smile.

As she starts walking towards the door, I follow her and start mimicking her behind her back. Walking like her with a big fat belly, making faces and giving her the fingers from both hands, imitating Mr Bean....





....only to notice that both our reflections are seen in the store window facing us. She was seeing me doing this the whole way through.


Employees behind the counter were killing themselves laughing. I just froze and turned around like nothing happened.

She never said a word. Sent a guy to her home to "fix" a TV that didn't have a problem and never saw her again. Wonder why.


Lesson 101. Look for window reflections before doing something shameful and stupid...

I once posted a thread on ATS about members sharing their most embarrassing ATS moments... It was fun


I am not yet ready to share my most embarrassing LIFE moments lol. I wouldn't even do that on ATS. You think we want the FBI, NSA, etc AND the Democratic party having access to our MOST embarrassing moments in life?? LOL

Bill Gates may do this sooner or later via brain hacking or whatever. Let's at least try to delay that process mmmkay???

[LSU2018]

 

Yes, I'd say that would be VERY embarrassing. 

I really can't ... Let me think...    

Maybe the time I was on a date and we made a stop along the way. He was walking toward the front of the car and I walked to the back because I needed to poot very badly. (Yes, I said poot.) I though it would be silent, but it came out like one of those freight trains that have a sputtering engine.

He turned and looked back my way, but quickly realized what the train noise was and turned back. I think he was trying to pretend like he didn't hear here it to save me the embarrassment.

We both got back in the car eventually and acted like nothing had happened.

LMAO! That's great! There's one stretch of road in South Bossier and for about a half a mile midways in, it always smells like sewage, even to this day. That was always my go-to cruise when I was on a first or second date. You know how you always get nervous (or at least I do) and have to fart. I'd always go down that stretch to take the edge off and relieve the pain in my stomach. The sewer smell was my best friend in the early stages of my relationships.

[LSU2018]

Taking my son's 2 male cats to the vet a month ago to be neutered. To be told afterwards that one was as a matter of fact, a female. For almost a year, not me or my son noticed. We just didn't look at their genital regions, ya know? We caught sight of the black cats testicles, they were huge, we couldn't miss seeing them. We just figured the grey cat was much less well endowed. We got the female cat from my daughter's sister in law, who told us it was a little male kitten and we just accepted it. The embarrassment was colossal

OOF! 

My fiance brought in a black cat about 7 years ago. After her second pregnancy, we tried to get her fixed but she was still nursing so they wouldn't let us. Then by the time she stopped, she was pregnant again. After around 4 litters, we FINALLY got her fixed. But her females were getting pregnant by her males and even though we were giving them away as fast as we could, we had something like 15 at one point. The best one that came out of the bunch was a kitten I found left by himself in a bed of fleas way out in the back of the property. He hadn't even gotten any teeth yet, so around a week and half old I'd guess. I bottle fed him and raised him. His mom and dad were father and daughter so I called him "Sammich" because if he was anymore "inbred" he'd be a sandwich. The little dude listened to me better than a dog, he was potty trained, stayed in the fenced in front yard when I'd go to work, everything. The neighbor's dog pushed under my gate one afternoon while I was at work and killed him. 

Anyways, moral to the story here, I'd have made your same mistake if I hadn't had litter after litter to give away. I'd check those suckers over with a fine tooth comb. Down to just one male now. So the cat days are over when he's gone.

[LSU2018]

So, I was around 20 years old. Going to college and working the weekends at a hospital stocking supply carts in Central supply. 

I was the only one there, so I would stock the carts then go fuck around until my shift ended.

Every once in awhile , being young and very horny, I would take care of my urges in a place I  thought was safe. 

Well, as I was taking care of business, I started hearing loud, almost fake, coughing. I turned my head, and a few ailes down was a fenced in cage. I could see some maintenance guys down there laughing. 

So, after that , I kind of sneaked in that place, avoiding the maintenance guys. 

And  I found a better spot, in the bath room. 

OH NO! I've been busted by my mom one night when I was Australian kissing my college girlfriend (a French kiss down under). I guess she wanted to see if I'd made it home yet so she opens my door and turns the light on, I played dead. It was my only defense, albeit a bad one since I'm right there between a set of legs. Mom immediately turned the light off and shut my door. And also go busted, by my mom again, "wrestling" with the same girl in the backseat of her car. Mom asked me to take out a bag of trash so my GF came with me. Mom said she was wondering if something happened because I didn't come back in, so she comes to the window and knocks on it, "Hey what are y'all doing in there?" Nothing mom, we're wrestling. The family joke forever was "If the Corsica's rocking, don't go a knocking". 

One thing I was always very strategic at was when I had to rub one out. I'd be sure a light was on somewhere so I could see a shadow in time to stop.