We are not 20 anymore?

[NightskyeB4Dawn]

So this is the forum I landed on. 

What's the point, the message, youth gone by and our preferred idealism aside. 

I could post endlessly with so many wonderful words, but I'll cut to the gist. 

I, like so many, 10 years ago would want a woman that is pure and wanting/waiting to start a family. 

So many though were lied to and left out to dry, the amount of single mothers with 2 or 3 kids I see on the scene is disgusting, not because of their own decisions, but my god, where are these men. 

5 years ago, I had no interest in woman with kids, now all of them have kids and I view that as something worth more than themselves, it's disgusting the amount of single woman that are dating that have kids, because they are so much more than just themselves(their children), why the hell have so many men run away and left them in that situation, I just don't get it. So many men that couldn't handle their responsibility, it's pretty sad, but than again there are plenty of real men out there. 

This is a rant, please don't send me pictures of your children....

Your post is one of those posts that touches on so many issues, many with multiple levels, that it is so hard for me to properly respond.

Of course relationships that are developed in youth are more hormone based, and we are supposed to be more cerebral in our relationships as we get older, but that is not always how it plays out. I won't go off on how the seven year itch, and the mid life crisis can throw monkey wrenches into the game. So I am going to try to stick to the issue of the children.

I think a romantic relationship should never involve the children in the beginning. Of course the fact there are children involved, will need to be disclosed, if one is looking for a lasting relationship, but if marriage in not in the picture, then the children should not be either.

Children should not be bargaining chips, and they should not be involved in the uncertainty, and the roller coaster ride that most relationships take until the relationship settles on even ground. Relationships can be difficult to maneuver for the supposed adults in the room, imagine how hard it can be on the children.

People go into relationships with personal baggage, which can be more challenging for a relationship than children. Some of that baggage needs to be dropped off at the dump before moving forward, and if dumped, it should never be retrieved, but we rarely do what we "should" do. I can assure you of only one thing, there has never been a relationship that failed or was successful, were only one person was responsible for the outcome.