The year 2020 hit me in the form of a bus this time

[Wallfire]

I'm sure those two weeks were the hardest.  Now that they're behind you, you should cherry-pick your way through other people's comments above.  I think they really meant the best for you and you should 'hear' what it is they're saying to you.

I cherry-picked them all. Everyone is so supportive... I read through all replies in the morning, and my eyes started to sweat... yeah emotional tears, humbleness and gratitude are the dominating emotions now.

To the ones suggesting cutting back alcohol, well, that can't be done. I have had a 6 months sober period before, and 8 months also. Not a drop of alcohol. I can, with effort, be completely without, or then i drink the oceans dry and fuck up everything. There is no middle ground, there is no moderation. All or nothing.

That is the problem with addiction, its very very hard to find the middle ground, boredom and been alone is also a big problem. Old friends also can drag one back into the addiction. Perhaps its all about making the addiction less destructive till its time to brake free. 
Your encounter with the bus was not caused by you, nor by your addiction, but by your reaction to your story, so a good point is to change how you react to your story, make it less self destructive.
Everyone has a story, no one just became an addict,its how we react to the good or bad in our story, thats something all should remember.