F#$% this S@#$: Return of the Prime Minister (P2 RoaFW)

[Armonica_Templar]

"No.. I am not interested in a dance," Myrcella responded trying to not lose her cool..

Joral in her lone ranger type mask shook her head, "Beat it before I beat you.."

Like all the other male guest, the man had on a bird mask with a psuedo beak. Joral hustled him away..

"I am the only one in a dress like this.. " Myrcella stood, "This was a mistake.. Everyone knows who the F#$% I am. "

Taking off her mask Myrcella throws it to the ground..

"Myrcella.." Joral took a deep breath and took off her mask, "Listen.. You came here because of a wild goose chase.."

"No.. I was acting like an idiotic teenage girl," Madam Prime Minister stands up.. "We are leaving.."

Purple and green hair show over a goatee.. With his bird mask on, House Master Wilson walks over.. In a voice with an Essos accent,"Madam Prime Minisister.. Does something not suit you?"

"Yes. Where is the master of Castle Stewart.. House Master Wilson," Myrcella was not very happy.. "I will find out how your master is hiding.. I will not forget this.."

Everyone was very quiet at the outburst.. Myrcella had a tear fall from her face..

"We are done here.. I will be having you investigated as well House Master Wilson.. I put aside.." The House Master stepped out as Myrcella took off her shoes, "Lets go Joral.. F@#$ you Mr. Martin if you are listening.."

"My Apologies Mouse Master Wilson.. It is a matter of expectation not living up to hope.." Joral followed the Prime minister for a few steps as Myrcell threw the shoes, "Great.."

House master Wilson loudly snapped his fingers.

The music stopped as the band started changing positions as the House Master held up three fingers..

One of the new instruments was uncovered as another person took out what looked like a guitar..



Armed guards stepped infront of the doors making a flash of anger cross Myrcella's face..

"Well you pissed off my ex- sister in law House Marshall.."

"Go to h#$$ Euron," Joral had her hand n a hidden weapon..

"We are here under a white flag," Littlefinger spoke as he himself had a hand on a dagger he had hid.

"Just who in the hell do you," Myrcella frooze having not turned around as the music played.

"I sat out on a narrow way," the male singer's voice filled the room..

Swallowing hard as she turned around, Tears fell as an outstretched hand faced her. Taking a deep breath, "It..You.."

Stepping forward to the silent wide eyed Myrcella, "My lady.. Might I may have this dance.." The essos Accent was gone..

"You.. You came back," Myrcella cleared the distance in a heartbeat.. "I," She hugged house master Wilson..

"this.. There is only one person," euron swallows hard as he nudges Littlefinger.. "Look we are covered relax Petyr.."

Petyr looked up and saw what Euron saw, "S#$%.. "

Prime Minister Greyjoy removed the mask from House Master Wilson.. Slowly she reached up, "Theon.. Is it you?"

"My lady," Theon spoke quietly..

"Armon," Myr whispered in Theon's ear..

With a smile Theon/ wilson let her hair down gently.. He whispered in her ear the response..

Mrycella laid her head on Theon's chest as the tears flowed..

Armed guards walked in with Remus, "What is going on.."

Holding her, "Remus Greyjoy.." Theon called out, "Come meet my ex wife.."

Remus walked forward slowly, "Greyjoy.. I.."

Myrcella is holding Theon not letting go..

"Uncle Euron, ruler of the Iron Islands," Theon calls out.. "Your nephew wanted to meet his uncle.."

Laughing as he stepped forward, "Your father was.."

"Lets be straight forward.. You F#$%ing had him killed," Theon stated loudly.. "He did not rule wisely and pissed away all the advantages he had.. I hereby renounce all claim to your throne Uncle.. May my little cousins rule wisely when it is time.. Obidiah, pass the word.. All members of the merchants guild are to welcome my Uncles fleets. Any who challenge my uncles claim to the throne are to be cut off from the merchants guild with a pure boycott. House Matron.."

Shaken up a little, "Lord Greyjoy.." Optin walks over to Euron with a pouch, "Mr. Greyjoy.."

Euron took the document pouch and opened it.. He sat it on the table as he quickly read it.. When he finshed he smiled as he returned them, "Nephew.. You do not have to renounce all your titles.." Looking theon in the eyes, "Very well.. Lord Remus Greyjoy.. As king of the Iron Isles Your mothers title devolves to you."

Remus walks the last few steps, "Great uncle.." Looking around, "I renounce all titles and claims to the throne as well.." Swallowing hard, "House master.. Dad.. Said royal titles are as much a prison as those chains that hold slaves.. I am free.."

"You little S@#$.. " Euron walked over and rubbed his nephew's head, "You are definately your fathers son.. I reserve the right to call you what I want.. I am the king and your Great Uncle.. Duke.."

"Deal.. But only you Great Uncle," Remus sticks his hand out.. After they shook, "Dad said Euron Greyjoy was a master sailor.. " Remus whispers, "Can you tell me what.." He lowered his voice with Euron so only he heard him..

Laughing evilly, "The full story.. I am hungry lets ditch this crap.. I will tell you about my first command Little Duke.." Euron took Optin's arm, "My lady.."

"I am old enough to be your mother," Mrs. Optin responded to what he whispered..

"But you are not his mother," Remus responded..

The males all laughed..

"Mr. R.. Greyjoy," Optin rolled her eyes. She swatts Euron's hand, "You are a bad influence on a young royal man.." With her nose in the air, "I am an expensive whore. Good sir and you have to pay more than what you offered.. I used to make more than that in a day.."

"Excuse me," Euron had a look on her face..

"Lord Greyjoy former Prime Minister of the WCM hired me... He only hires the best." An evil smile crosses the old ladys face, "Madam Grelore.. At your service sailor.. The most expensive Escort on this rock.. Retired.. Now House Matron Castle Stewart for Mr.. M.. Lord Greyjoy.."

All the men are equally shocked as some of the woman seem offended..

"So King sailor.. If you wish to ride this old mare I expect at least Forty chest of gold and ruby's," Mrs. Optin takes little Remus's wide eyed hand. "You young man are way to much like your uncle and father.. You need to learn to be more then they are.."

Remus swallows hard, "You.. You.."

"I heard you were killed," Euron turned and looked around at the guard.. Petyr started to say something.. "If you value your life I would cease all talking.. If he put her in charge of the house that means.."

Looking at the guards Petyr hesitated, "I do not see it.."

"These are my father's missing men," Euron got very quiet resting his hand on his sword. Looking at one armored man by the way he was standing, "Saul right."

The guards at Attention just stared forward..

Saul turned and opened the door.. Loudly, "Remus Greyjoy of the iron Islands is departing.. In the company of Lady Optin, Matron of Castle Stewart."

Two of the guards inside came to attention and shouldered their arms in salute to Remus..

"He is a bastard c," Petyr is grabbed and shoved forward by Euron..

"Duke.. Lead the way nephew," Euron smiles.. Whispering, "Cersei paid me good gold to keep you alive.. These men will kill you if you insult my Great nephew.. One more word and I will do it myself to make it out of here.."


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Euron Greyjoy watched as his nephew worked for thirty minutes doing dishes under Mrs. Optin's watch..

Proud of himself, Remus sat the last glass out of his batch.. "I got it all Mrs. Optin.. " A clock went off, "Before the buzzer.."

As Mrs. Optin inspected the work with a close eye..

"Euron.." Petyr shook his head, "He is teaching his son to wash dishes.. The house lannister..  has much to be worried about.. Duke and.."

Euron is engrossed by watching the kitchen move.. Finishing her inspection she nods to Remus..

"Euron," Petyr shakes his head..

Remus walks to the edge of the cooking area.. Knocking on the wood, "Mrs. Backs.. Remus Greyjoy.. Chores finished and ready for inspection.."

A large heavy sat woman quickly disengaged from the work group.. "Remus darling.. " Rubbing his head, "Ok lets see the work.."

Petyr shook his head as the dishes and work area are inspected..

The woman smiles at Euron, "It will do for the helps service area.. One more week of accomplishing this and next you may work with the garbage.." Mrs. Backs snapped her finger and a log book was brought forward, "Sign Remus Greyjoy.."

Remus took the pen as he struggled to sign his name as a leather clad man held the book firm.

Petyr Baelish snorts, "One of the merchants guilds inde.." Baelish stops midsentance and looks around, "That.."

"You just now caught it," Euron looked at four trash cans other children came in and emptied into wagons..

"That.. He is.. They are being trained.." Petyr is shocked at the realization, "They are just.. Just children.."

"A focus on personal achievement.. Goal orientation," Euron took an an apple.. "Do you mind Mrs. Backs?"

Before she can argue a silver coin is slipped into her hand..

"Your Majesty.. Uncle of Hous.. Lord... Mr.Greyjoy.. You are family.." She handed the silver coin back, "Donate it to the orphanage if you wish.."

Remus looked at Euron with a your are embarassing me look..

"Will you donate it for me," Euron walks over to the children trying to lift the cans.. Cutting the apple and taking a bite.. He whispers, "I have observed you so far littleones.. On my ships we work as a team.. It might go faster if you all help each other lift the trash cans together.. Rotate on each one.."

The kids smile as they do what is suggested.. To their surprise the trash cans come up easily.. They dump it into the first wagon and set it on the place back..

"Petyr," King Euron grabs a handle.. 

"You cant," Petyr pauses as he catches a look from Euron.. "Not share the apple your majesty.." Walking over and grabbing the trash cans handle as the boys look greatful..

"We distracted the boys Mrs. Backs .." Euron smiled, "I just found out.."

Remus gave the classic hand signal of cut it off..

"My father and my first husband were sailors.. " With a polite smile, "I learned from my mother not to put up with their bullS#$%.. I will not put with yours without at least a night of passion and it better be good.."

Mrs. Backs slapped Petyr on the A$$ and then squeezed..

She looked at the boys, "You may all go after this job is done.."

Eulon laughed but stopped cold from her gaze..

"You two can help the boys finish their chores.. Now Mr Remus will be late," Mrs. Backs smiled.. "Unless you wsh to distract me some more Mr. Baelish?"

Baelish catches a look from Euron, "No I.."

One of the guards appearing to be lazy subtly changes position..

"Dont want to make your great nephew late," Petyr responds again.

Everyone is working for the next ten minutes to finish everyone's chores..

Euron helped the chef finish the nights work and clean up..

Mrs. Backs watches with a smiles a the children are working together to finish the chores faster..

Euron hangs up the apron he had on..

"I could make a chef of you your majesty.. If the king thing does not work out.. I will start you out as an apprentice, "The Chef responds excitedly..

Euron politely smiles, "It was your cooking the rest is very simple organization.. I will think about it.. It is much safer work.." 

Euron is snuck a dessert by the chef, "Your majesty.. I made a few to many.."

"You are to gracious," Euron and the boys walk out of the area..

Mrs. Optin watches as Euron looks around..

"Duke," Euron has a knife out and cuts the pie into multiple pieces.. "As a Greyjoy you must learn to make sure.."

"Always give the men a cut of everything." Remus takes the cut pie from his Great uncle, "We have to eat it quickly.."

Each of the children takes a cut as Remus smiles..

Baelish is surprised as he is handed the pie pan, "Thank you Remus.. I.."

The children laugh as they keep walking away..

Euron shakes his head and looks at his nephew..

"The Lannisters do the least amount of work.. Yet still always take thier cut," Remus speaks as he glares at Littlefinger..

"Your fathers love is a Lannister by birth," Petyr responds as he eats his cut..

"By birth.. She choose my father and her own way.." Remus turns his back, "A smart man would have checked for poison.."

Euron smiles as he looks at Mrs. Optin, "Whatever my nephew is teaching him I approve.."

"The first feeling is usually a dry mouth needing something to drink.." Remus speaks as Petyr pauses after reaching for a canteen on his side..

Wide eyed Petyr licks his lips unconciously.. "You little son of a F@#$ing W.."

From no where four long bolts land at different points around Petyr..

"Euron?"

Euron walked away like he did'nt know Littlefinger, but stopped.. "You are going to need your friend from the boat the queen loaned you.."

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"We have a hundred thousand soldier.. Wendy,"Jamie Lannister speaks.. "We have your own weapons trained on you.. Surrender and my father has offered you a castle and safe passage for your hundred or so defenders.."

Wounded with a bandage side, Wendy spat at Jamie..

"That was a ," Jammie Lannister stops as cheers come from the defenders..

"Long Live Prime Minister Theon," Chants were coming from the surrounded castle..

Jamie Lannister smiles evilly, "Cute.. You wont.."

A worried rider comes up from the Lannister Lines..

"My lord.. A group of..Of.. Of soldiers has breached the rear guard.. We.. Reinforcements are pouring in," The worried knight watched as the front gates opened..

A man wearing WCM armor came riding out on a Armored bear..

Wendy almost passed out as she turned and watched..

"What in the," Jammie Lannister watched as ten armored Giants followed the knight.. "Are.. Giants .. Those are archers on their backs.."

The man on the Bear rode up, "Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.." Seeing Wendy, "You.. Take her to the healer.. I General Barristan Selmy of the Night stalkers, 3rd JSOC team, WCM.. Hereby assume command of these defenses.."

The giants formed two wing like points of Five apiece..

Behind them five weird looking wagons came out..

"Ser Selmy," Jamie paused.. "What makes you think you?" Jamie watched as weapons where being mounted, "You do not have.."

Ser Barristan threw a folded paper, "It comes from your own man.. We have not broke the verifacation code.. So I ordered it passed to ALL the troops via raven and pony express.."

"Like you would pass our messages for," Jamie unrolled the message..

Lord Tywin,

Madam Prime Minister is in bed with her exhusband. This should be able to end any alliances her marriage formed. It appears...

Another rider rode up, "Lord Commander.. News from the.." The rider swallowed hard as the bear sniffed the horse, "The western front sir.. The soldiers got some kind of message.. They now refuse to surrender.. Even when out numbered.. "

Barristan Laughs at Jamie, "Lord Commander it is your man's message.. My soldiers do not care about a broken alliance.. Theon has returned.. I suggest you withdraw.."

More Messangers start riding up, Jamie gets a look on his face..

"Lord Commander.. Riders are appearing from all our battlefields.." The new arrival takes a deep breath, "We have been forced to retreat at least five times.. Lord Greyjoy has returned.. Several new things have appeared.. "

"They WCM's troops prefer to die," Jamie Lannister looked at Barristan.. "You have betrayed.."

The Bear knocks the horse Jamie is on to the ground, "Good Mama Bear.."

A roar comes from the bear as a one handed Jamie back up..

"You have thirty minutes to withdraw," Ser Barristan rides back on the bear followed by the troops..

Once inside Ser Barristan hops off the bear.. He catches Wendy, "I am fine...."

Carrying her, "I rode the only bear trained as a war bear.. Failed project indeed.."

"General.. Did you see the look on thier faces.. " A red bearded man spoke, "Perhaps we should light a hundred extra fires.."

A giant smiled, "Make bear sounds as well.." 

"Make them think we have a whole army of bear riding knights," General Selmy was carrying Wendy.. "They told me I am to old for this.."

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