07-01-2022, 07:23 AM
(06-30-2022, 07:26 AM)FlyingClayDisk Wrote: Words cannot adequately describe my absolute loathing of Keurig coffee machines!
There is not a hammer big enough, or an ocean deep enough, to properly "fix" a Keurig coffee machine! I can fix about anything...except one of those gawd-forsaken pieces of mechanical excrement!
I have actually laid awake at night contemplating the design requirements to build a rocket powerful enough to launch a Keurig coffee machine directly...into the SUN!
Running a Keurig over several hundred times with our largest field tractor is woefully insufficient. Not even an atomic wood-chipper would be satisfying enough, or even several wood-chippers rigged in series, followed by a food processor and then putting all the pieces into a commercial juicer and then boiling the juices with a laser beam and then incinerating the vapor inside a nuclear reactor, would be enough!
Did I ever mention I don't like Keurig coffee makers???
I will make a pact with you my old (really ancient) friend! When I build my first flintlock rifle from raw materials I will use it to blow the brakes off a fucking yuppy as keuirg machine, I hate them fuckers as much as you do, I hate them fuckers almost as much as I hate Dale Earnhardts stupid fucking grin with that smug ass cunt stache. I hate those coffee machines so gawd damned much I will make a tool to destroy one while playing Raining Blood from slayer, naked....