Chatting With My Mom

[kdog]

I thought about posting some serious conspiracy stuff, because I don't contribute near enough. 

But, I was chatting with my mom, who is in her late 70's ,about my early childhood. 

I don't do it enough and realize I need to do it more often. 

I was a bad kid, she just tells me I was energetic like she was. 

I got into all kinds of trouble early on, but according to her and my late granny, I was an angel. 

Calling bullshit on all that, but maybe, no, they did understand me. I never had to be medicated or sent to special schools and such.

And sex , gender, whatever was never brought up. It wasn't an issue then. I was a boy, and now a boy in a old mans body.  

I was accepted for who I was. Just an over active child looking for more out of the world and questioning everything. 

Became successful and retired early. 

But now, I don't want to do anything and it bothers me. Mostly because of were everything is heading. 

I need to pull my boot straps up and get on with the rest of my life. 

I really need that energy back.

I think you are in good company. I was talking to a close friend today and she was talking about us going on a trip somewhere overseas. 

I told her I could think of a lot of things I could do with that money, and vacationing overseas, was not one of them.

She said to me that there has to be some place I wanted to go. I thought about it for a while. I am still thinking about it, because my wanderlust, seems to finally have abated.

I am travelled out. I am done with the overseas tourist route. I dropped into a state of ennui during the COVID lockdown, and I have never come completely out of it.

So many of the things I used to enjoy, I don't anymore.

The only thing that keeps me grounded is my church and community work. I know that it is the fellowship, and the joy I get from helping, and bringing joy to others.

But once I am back home the shadows start to creep in. The lazy spirit, a level of complacency, that kills the drive to do anything other than what has to be done.

Of course my critters have a way of snapping me out of it most of the time, and just walking with the crits outside, brings a bit of peace, but I know exactly how you feel.

Sometimes I feel like I have completed my bucket list, so there is not a whole lot to do but wait.

We did alot of traveling in the states last year and visited with family scattered everywhere. This year , with the rising costs of everything,we and not going anywhere. 

But hopefully, when this Kentucky Derby crap is over with, we will begin camping locally soon. I love camping !