09-02-2016, 11:36 AM
Nuisance Telephone Calls.
I can't comment on other areas of the world, but here in Britain we're inundated with
nuisance cold-calling that I have no doubt involve some type of scam or tricking to
acquire private details in the hope of stealing money.
Being retired and at home, I usually get about four to five of these calls per day
and I've noticed recently... maybe something to do with the 'Brexit' decision to leave
the European Union, the callers usually say their 'company' has 'Britain' or 'England'
in their title.
I've had my fair-share of 'Hello, this is Windows and your computer is full of viruses' -calls
and now tend to deal with them by using different 'personalities' to aggrevate them enough
so they hang up.
Which is easier said than done.
I've been Detective-Superintendent BIAD of The Scotland Yard, who attempts to get the caller
to reveal their location and his/her superiors' names so that the caller's prison sentence will be
reduced. (Easy -but authoritve tones needed here!)
There's my paranoid-lives-alone old man (not too far off the mark, some would say!) -who explains
how people in suits come around at night and pour poison into the wires under the road and would
never dare to watch the television or go on someting called 'Tinternet'!
(Scared babbling with a hint of 'I'm eating dog food now' -style of a lonely man who sees the world
moving too fast!)
He's my best one, it's when I can really fire-up my imagination to it's max and usually ends-up with
the Asian-sounding caller assuring me that they won't bother me again. Of course, I would like to
write that it works, but there's always the next set of bastards waiting in the wings.
But I do also enjoy my priest role, where I quietly explain that I understand their deceitful ways and
let them know that for a small donation to my church, I will pull the evil demons that cause the caller
to behave this way, from their dishonest body.
(That condescending voice of someone who knows your spiritual needs and yet, doesn't really
listen to your words of woe!)
There are other ones I've done whilst enduring strange looks from my better-half and instead of
hurling abuse at them -as advised by 'she-who-must-be obeyed' I accompany the cold-caller on a
ride through my dusty halls of fantasy and sally!
These latest calls are all about surveys and personal choice, and after hearing my wife rebuke
them when they warn that by not answering their questions they will keep calling, I will generally
take up the mantle and ponder which crazy bugger I'll be as I accept the handset.
My questions are, do other Rogue members suffer with this crap? -and have you any tips on
getting rid of them?
On a personal note, I would be also honoured... if you would suggest other characters for me
to perform on the telephonic stage! Remember, I don't take on these roles lightly, these guys
should get the best!
I can't comment on other areas of the world, but here in Britain we're inundated with
nuisance cold-calling that I have no doubt involve some type of scam or tricking to
acquire private details in the hope of stealing money.
Being retired and at home, I usually get about four to five of these calls per day
and I've noticed recently... maybe something to do with the 'Brexit' decision to leave
the European Union, the callers usually say their 'company' has 'Britain' or 'England'
in their title.
I've had my fair-share of 'Hello, this is Windows and your computer is full of viruses' -calls
and now tend to deal with them by using different 'personalities' to aggrevate them enough
so they hang up.
Which is easier said than done.
I've been Detective-Superintendent BIAD of The Scotland Yard, who attempts to get the caller
to reveal their location and his/her superiors' names so that the caller's prison sentence will be
reduced. (Easy -but authoritve tones needed here!)
There's my paranoid-lives-alone old man (not too far off the mark, some would say!) -who explains
how people in suits come around at night and pour poison into the wires under the road and would
never dare to watch the television or go on someting called 'Tinternet'!
(Scared babbling with a hint of 'I'm eating dog food now' -style of a lonely man who sees the world
moving too fast!)
He's my best one, it's when I can really fire-up my imagination to it's max and usually ends-up with
the Asian-sounding caller assuring me that they won't bother me again. Of course, I would like to
write that it works, but there's always the next set of bastards waiting in the wings.
But I do also enjoy my priest role, where I quietly explain that I understand their deceitful ways and
let them know that for a small donation to my church, I will pull the evil demons that cause the caller
to behave this way, from their dishonest body.
(That condescending voice of someone who knows your spiritual needs and yet, doesn't really
listen to your words of woe!)
There are other ones I've done whilst enduring strange looks from my better-half and instead of
hurling abuse at them -as advised by 'she-who-must-be obeyed' I accompany the cold-caller on a
ride through my dusty halls of fantasy and sally!
These latest calls are all about surveys and personal choice, and after hearing my wife rebuke
them when they warn that by not answering their questions they will keep calling, I will generally
take up the mantle and ponder which crazy bugger I'll be as I accept the handset.
My questions are, do other Rogue members suffer with this crap? -and have you any tips on
getting rid of them?
On a personal note, I would be also honoured... if you would suggest other characters for me
to perform on the telephonic stage! Remember, I don't take on these roles lightly, these guys
should get the best!
