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Legion of the Dead
#1
A number of years ago, might be six or more now, I was busted up, broken and left for dead on the road. I shouldn't be alive right now. It took me almost a year to even believe I was alive, despite the therapy and recovery. I was gone before I hit the road and when I came back I believed that when you die, there is nothing, there was nothing before you were alive and nothing after you are dead. I took the world with me into the void where there is nothing.

I began to think about the world as if I was dead, because I found it unbelievable I had survived, something I doubt even now as I write this. Just awhile ago my GF had read a story where a local tried to commit suicide by jumping off a highway over pass. I thought about all the hopeless people who are considering taking their own life and how I might persuade them to remain alive by looking at life as if they were already dead.

It is very liberating to be dead. You have nothing, you are nothing, no worries, no concerns, nothing to make you feel anything because you and everything is gone. It isn't and never was there, so what is this problem with your life that means anything if you are already dead?

If you are that low that you would take your own life, then follow me and join the legion of the dead. I'll show you that your BS is meaningless and no matter what happens, it ain't jack shit if you weren't alive right now, so get over it because you died when you decided to end your own life.
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#2
(09-17-2022, 04:56 AM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote: A number of years ago, might be six or more now, I was busted up, broken and left for dead on the road. I shouldn't be alive right now. It took me almost a year to even believe I was alive, despite the therapy and recovery. I was gone before I hit the road and when I came back I believed that when you die, there is nothing, there was nothing before you were alive and nothing after you are dead. I took the world with me into the void where there is nothing.

I began to think about the world as if I was dead, because I found it unbelievable I had survived, something I doubt even now as I write this. Just awhile ago my GF had read a story where a local tried to commit suicide by jumping off a highway over pass. I thought about all the hopeless people who are considering taking their own life and how I might persuade them to remain alive by looking at life as if they were already dead.

It is very liberating to be dead. You have nothing, you are nothing, no worries, no concerns, nothing to make you feel anything because you and everything is gone. It isn't and never was there, so what is this problem with your life that means anything if you are already dead?

If you are that low that you would take your own life, then follow me and join the legion of the dead. I'll show you that your BS is meaningless and no matter what happens, it ain't jack shit if you weren't alive right now, so get over it because you died when you decided to end your own life.

About nine years ago or so, I felt I was at the end of my life. 

I was married, 2 kids , a great job and plenty of money. 

But I was so unhappy with my life, even though I had everything anyone could hope for.

I considered ending my life several times. 

Instead, I left that lifestyle at considerable cost and I have never been happier. 

You don't have to end your life , just change your life.
The Truth is Out There, Somewhere
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#3
(09-17-2022, 04:56 AM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote: A number of years ago, might be six or more now, I was busted up, broken and left for dead on the road. I shouldn't be alive right now. It took me almost a year to even believe I was alive, despite the therapy and recovery. I was gone before I hit the road and when I came back I believed that when you die, there is nothing, there was nothing before you were alive and nothing after you are dead. I took the world with me into the void where there is nothing.

I began to think about the world as if I was dead, because I found it unbelievable I had survived, something I doubt even now as I write this. Just awhile ago my GF had read a story where a local tried to commit suicide by jumping off a highway over pass. I thought about all the hopeless people who are considering taking their own life and how I might persuade them to remain alive by looking at life as if they were already dead.

It is very liberating to be dead. You have nothing, you are nothing, no worries, no concerns, nothing to make you feel anything because you and everything is gone. It isn't and never was there, so what is this problem with your life that means anything if you are already dead?

If you are that low that you would take your own life, then follow me and join the legion of the dead. I'll show you that your BS is meaningless and no matter what happens, it ain't jack shit if you weren't alive right now, so get over it because you died when you decided to end your own life.

I'm all about it if you drink the Kool aide first.
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#4
All the pain and frustration is just icing on the cake for me now. I can react with any come back and it doesn't matter, maybe it was the closed head injury, but I just don't give a flying fuck about anything now that I am dead.

It frees me from the bull shit anyone throws at me. I will react now without any worries because I died awhile back, all of this is completely meaningless. Big deal, I already died once, maybe more like a few times really. So what are you going to throw at me now?
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#5
(09-17-2022, 06:04 AM)Brotherman Wrote:
(09-17-2022, 04:56 AM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote: A number of years ago, might be six or more now, I was busted up, broken and left for dead on the road. I shouldn't be alive right now. It took me almost a year to even believe I was alive, despite the therapy and recovery. I was gone before I hit the road and when I came back I believed that when you die, there is nothing, there was nothing before you were alive and nothing after you are dead. I took the world with me into the void where there is nothing.

I began to think about the world as if I was dead, because I found it unbelievable I had survived, something I doubt even now as I write this. Just awhile ago my GF had read a story where a local tried to commit suicide by jumping off a highway over pass. I thought about all the hopeless people who are considering taking their own life and how I might persuade them to remain alive by looking at life as if they were already dead.

It is very liberating to be dead. You have nothing, you are nothing, no worries, no concerns, nothing to make you feel anything because you and everything is gone. It isn't and never was there, so what is this problem with your life that means anything if you are already dead?

If you are that low that you would take your own life, then follow me and join the legion of the dead. I'll show you that your BS is meaningless and no matter what happens, it ain't jack shit if you weren't alive right now, so get over it because you died when you decided to end your own life.

I'm all about it if you drink the Kool aide first.

I drank the kool aid and already died, follow me and be free from everything. Life sucks and reality is bullshit.
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#6
(09-17-2022, 07:07 AM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote: All the pain and frustration is just icing on the cake for me now. I can react with any come back and it doesn't matter, maybe it was the closed head injury, but I just don't give a flying fuck about anything now that I am dead.

It frees me from the bull shit anyone throws at me. I will react now without any worries because I died awhile back, all of this is completely meaningless. Big deal, I already died once, maybe more like a few times really. So what are you going to throw at me now?

After the week I have had, with last night being the topper, you have given me something to think about.

Some of what you have posted may help me process many of the  experiences that are extremely difficult for me to wrap my head around right now.

People are becoming more complicated and more difficult for me to understand. Maybe it is because I cannot relate to how they see and respond to their experiences in this world. The internet seems to play a huge role in altering the way people think and feel.

I am a bit confused and a lot groggy right now. I am also hungry, so I will attempt to process this later.

Glad you are still with us though.
[Image: attachment.php?aid=8192]




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#7
(09-17-2022, 04:56 AM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote: A number of years ago, might be six or more now, I was busted up, broken and left for dead on the road. I shouldn't be alive right now. It took me almost a year to even believe I was alive, despite the therapy and recovery. I was gone before I hit the road and when I came back I believed that when you die, there is nothing, there was nothing before you were alive and nothing after you are dead. I took the world with me into the void where there is nothing.

I began to think about the world as if I was dead, because I found it unbelievable I had survived, something I doubt even now as I write this. Just awhile ago my GF had read a story where a local tried to commit suicide by jumping off a highway over pass. I thought about all the hopeless people who are considering taking their own life and how I might persuade them to remain alive by looking at life as if they were already dead.

It is very liberating to be dead. You have nothing, you are nothing, no worries, no concerns, nothing to make you feel anything because you and everything is gone. It isn't and never was there, so what is this problem with your life that means anything if you are already dead?

If you are that low that you would take your own life, then follow me and join the legion of the dead. I'll show you that your BS is meaningless and no matter what happens, it ain't jack shit if you weren't alive right now, so get over it because you died when you decided to end your own life.

I used to think like that before going into a fight, and you are correct, it is very liberating. It allowed me to do things that a fear of not retaining life would have prevented me from doing, and that is how I won - I did shit the other guy wouldn't even think of doing, because it might kill him. I, on the other hand, did it anyhow, because death did not matter - I was already dead.

and that gave me the edge to win.

.
Diogenes was eating bread and lentils for supper. He was seen by the philosopher Aristippus, who lived comfortably by flattering the king.

Said Aristippus, ‘If you would learn to be subservient to the king you would not have to live on lentils.’ Said Diogenes, ‘Learn to live on lentils and you will not have to be subservient to the king.’


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#8
(09-17-2022, 09:17 PM)Ninurta Wrote:
(09-17-2022, 04:56 AM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote: A number of years ago, might be six or more now, I was busted up, broken and left for dead on the road. I shouldn't be alive right now. It took me almost a year to even believe I was alive, despite the therapy and recovery. I was gone before I hit the road and when I came back I believed that when you die, there is nothing, there was nothing before you were alive and nothing after you are dead. I took the world with me into the void where there is nothing.

I began to think about the world as if I was dead, because I found it unbelievable I had survived, something I doubt even now as I write this. Just awhile ago my GF had read a story where a local tried to commit suicide by jumping off a highway over pass. I thought about all the hopeless people who are considering taking their own life and how I might persuade them to remain alive by looking at life as if they were already dead.

It is very liberating to be dead. You have nothing, you are nothing, no worries, no concerns, nothing to make you feel anything because you and everything is gone. It isn't and never was there, so what is this problem with your life that means anything if you are already dead?

If you are that low that you would take your own life, then follow me and join the legion of the dead. I'll show you that your BS is meaningless and no matter what happens, it ain't jack shit if you weren't alive right now, so get over it because you died when you decided to end your own life.

I used to think like that before going into a fight, and you are correct, it is very liberating. It allowed me to do things that a fear of not retaining life would have prevented me from doing, and that is how I won - I did shit the other guy wouldn't even think of doing, because it might kill him. I, on the other hand, did it anyhow, because death did not matter - I was already dead.

and that gave me the edge to win.

I'm not saying give up and stop trying to make your way though life while you are alive, but that attitude will give you the edge like you describe. It detaches you from the emotion you may be feeling and allow you to act quickly and decisively.

It's like any hard work, pain and misery, it's just water off a duck's back for me now, for the most part. Why worry about anything, it's all icing on the cake for me because I should be dead.

Quote:If you had just a minute to breathe
And they granted you one final wish
Would you ask for something like another chance?

Or something similar as this?
Don't worry too much it'll happen to you
As sure as your sorrows are joys

And the thing that disturbs you is only the sound
Of the low spark of high-heeled boys
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#9
(09-17-2022, 07:33 AM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote:
(09-17-2022, 06:04 AM)Brotherman Wrote:
(09-17-2022, 04:56 AM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote: A number of years ago, might be six or more now, I was busted up, broken and left for dead on the road. I shouldn't be alive right now. It took me almost a year to even believe I was alive, despite the therapy and recovery. I was gone before I hit the road and when I came back I believed that when you die, there is nothing, there was nothing before you were alive and nothing after you are dead. I took the world with me into the void where there is nothing.

I began to think about the world as if I was dead, because I found it unbelievable I had survived, something I doubt even now as I write this. Just awhile ago my GF had read a story where a local tried to commit suicide by jumping off a highway over pass. I thought about all the hopeless people who are considering taking their own life and how I might persuade them to remain alive by looking at life as if they were already dead.

It is very liberating to be dead. You have nothing, you are nothing, no worries, no concerns, nothing to make you feel anything because you and everything is gone. It isn't and never was there, so what is this problem with your life that means anything if you are already dead?

If you are that low that you would take your own life, then follow me and join the legion of the dead. I'll show you that your BS is meaningless and no matter what happens, it ain't jack shit if you weren't alive right now, so get over it because you died when you decided to end your own life.

I'm all about it if you drink the Kool aide first.

I drank the kool aid and already died, follow me and be free from everything. Life sucks and reality is bullshit.
Well at least you didn't cut off your penis and kill a bunch of kids trying to hitch a ride on an alien comet like the other fuckers.
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#10
(09-19-2022, 04:43 AM)Brotherman Wrote:
(09-17-2022, 07:33 AM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote:
(09-17-2022, 06:04 AM)Brotherman Wrote:
(09-17-2022, 04:56 AM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote: A number of years ago, might be six or more now, I was busted up, broken and left for dead on the road. I shouldn't be alive right now. It took me almost a year to even believe I was alive, despite the therapy and recovery. I was gone before I hit the road and when I came back I believed that when you die, there is nothing, there was nothing before you were alive and nothing after you are dead. I took the world with me into the void where there is nothing.

I began to think about the world as if I was dead, because I found it unbelievable I had survived, something I doubt even now as I write this. Just awhile ago my GF had read a story where a local tried to commit suicide by jumping off a highway over pass. I thought about all the hopeless people who are considering taking their own life and how I might persuade them to remain alive by looking at life as if they were already dead.

It is very liberating to be dead. You have nothing, you are nothing, no worries, no concerns, nothing to make you feel anything because you and everything is gone. It isn't and never was there, so what is this problem with your life that means anything if you are already dead?

If you are that low that you would take your own life, then follow me and join the legion of the dead. I'll show you that your BS is meaningless and no matter what happens, it ain't jack shit if you weren't alive right now, so get over it because you died when you decided to end your own life.

I'm all about it if you drink the Kool aide first.

I drank the kool aid and already died, follow me and be free from everything. Life sucks and reality is bullshit.
Well at least you didn't cut off your penis and kill a bunch of kids trying to hitch a ride on an alien comet like the other fuckers.

No doubt, I have too much respect for my little man to simply cut him loose.

My Kool-aid was a close brush with death and I asked for it by taking risks. By not actually dying (I guess), and thinking about life as if I had died, it freed me from giving a shit about anything basically, for a long while anyway. I certainly wouldn't go completely psycho and try to hitch up with a passing comet, although the symptoms of my experience could indicate I'm becoming a sociopath, possibly from the closed head injury.

I'm just going for the ride now, even if it is on Shit Creek and I lost my paddle. If anything is entirely unimportant now, it's my ego.
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#11
(09-19-2022, 02:39 PM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote:
(09-19-2022, 04:43 AM)Brotherman Wrote:
(09-17-2022, 07:33 AM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote:
(09-17-2022, 06:04 AM)Brotherman Wrote:
(09-17-2022, 04:56 AM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote: I began to think about the world as if I was dead

I'm all about it if you drink the Kool aide first

I drank the kool aid and already died

hitch a ride on an alien comet

a close brush with death

Being around death changes you, whether it was something you had happen to you, or you're putting other people's light out. Sometimes ... just watching is enough.

The worst outcome of death is being totally blacked-out. Work on it, MSB. You're lucky you have that chance now.
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#12
(09-19-2022, 02:51 PM)Snarl Wrote:
(09-19-2022, 02:39 PM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote:
(09-19-2022, 04:43 AM)Brotherman Wrote:
(09-17-2022, 07:33 AM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote:
(09-17-2022, 06:04 AM)Brotherman Wrote:
(09-17-2022, 04:56 AM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote: I began to think about the world as if I was dead

I'm all about it if you drink the Kool aide first

I drank the kool aid and already died

hitch a ride on an alien comet

a close brush with death

Being around death changes you, whether it was something you had happen to you, or you're putting other people's light out. Sometimes ... just watching is enough.

The worst outcome of death is being totally blacked-out. Work on it, MSB. You're lucky you have that chance now.

Thanks, one of the ideas I had after awhile was that if I didn't die, then there must be some reason I lived. Could be luck, could be I can take a good beating and keep going, or maybe I have some purpose outside of myself, one I may never realize before I actually snuff it.

I have had a big effect on many people though my life, some people's lives even took off in a direction because of my influence. The music scene was a big part of that back then. Of course my influence wasn't always a good one I must admit.

It's just I've become detached from myself, with no real passion for anything now, no lust for life (to quote Iggy Pop). It is hard to motivate when emotions are so subdued and there seems to be no meaning or purpose. I just come to conclude that if God has a purpose for my life, there is no need to worry about that and just try to be as kind and understanding with others as possible. My death will have it's affects on those who have come to know and depend on me, so I go on living for them.
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#13
(09-20-2022, 04:45 AM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote:
(09-19-2022, 02:51 PM)Snarl Wrote:
(09-19-2022, 02:39 PM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote:
(09-19-2022, 04:43 AM)Brotherman Wrote:
(09-17-2022, 07:33 AM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote:
(09-17-2022, 06:04 AM)Brotherman Wrote:
(09-17-2022, 04:56 AM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote: I began to think about the world as if I was dead

I'm all about it if you drink the Kool aide first

I drank the kool aid and already died

hitch a ride on an alien comet

a close brush with death

Work on it, MSB. You're lucky you have that chance now.

I just come to conclude that if God has a purpose for my life, there is no need to worry about that and just try to be as kind and understanding with others as possible. My death will have it's affects on those who have come to know and depend on me, so I go on living for them.

I think you've worked it out perfectly.

God is quite real ... and He is with us. If you're looking for Him, here's the starter kit: For where two or more are gathered together in my name, there I Am, in the midst of them. -Matthew 18:20
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