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The Arrogance of Old Age
#1
Quote:*Subject:* *The Arrogance of Old Age*





The young ones think they can get something past us oldies.

No way!





*Yesterday morning* *,* *I bought two six packs of beer on sale at Fred
Meyer's.*

*I* *placed* *them* *on* *the* *front* *seat* *of* *the* *car* *and*
*headed* *back* *home.*




I stopped at the service station where a drop-dead gorgeous, almost  blonde
was filling up her car at the next pump.





It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a light top which was
wide open.




She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.



With her bra-less breasts almost falling out of her skimpy top she said, in
a  sexy voice, “I am a big believer in barter, old fellow. Would you
be interested
in trading sex for beer."




I thought for a few seconds and asked,

*"What* *kind* *of* *beer* *you* *got?”*


*THE ARROGANCE OF OLD AGE*
#2
Yes I have heard about this thing called sex, but I cant remember what it is.  The sadness of old age
#3
(04-04-2021, 09:09 AM)Wallfire Wrote: Yes I have heard about this thing called sex, but I cant remember what it is.  The sadness of old age

I recall it has nothing to do with keeping the garden tidy and you tend to be sleepy afterwards.
Also, if memory serves, it's something you can do during the commercials if you're watching a movie in bed.

Using unusual places to conduct a supposed 'new-and-exciting' form of this exhausting exercise -in my experience,
isn't such a good idea. We're on our fourth wardrobe now and believe performing in conditions like that just doesn't
make the grade when compared to a nice cup of cocoa whilst reading a Mills & Boon romance novel in bed.
tinybiggrin

(And those damned-gimp costumes are a waste of time and money. I had to take my dentures out for that ball-gag
apparatus.)
tinyhuh
Edith Head Gives Good Wardrobe. 
#4
(04-04-2021, 09:09 AM)Wallfire Wrote: Yes I have heard about this thing called sex, but I cant remember what it is.  The sadness of old age

Don't worry, i know this.

Sex means the same thing as gender. They are synonyms.

I would not trade sex to have beer. I am used to being a male, although not very masculine. I would not trade that, become a female, just to have beer. Do not get me wrong, i like drinking beer. But i draw the line somewhere.
"Man is fully responsible for his nature and his choices."

-Jean-Paul Sartre
#5
What kind of sex, for how long, and with who? Once that is established you could haggle. I won't perform for anything less than Labatt's and it goes up from there. Then there is number of beers and when I can consume them. Preferably, I would take the beer up front and consume at least half of the beer before performing. The woman would have to bring her own beer or beverage of preference.
#6
(04-04-2021, 01:06 PM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote: What kind of sex, for how long, and with who? Once that is established you could haggle. I won't perform for anything less than Labatt's and it goes up from there. Then there is number of beers and when I can consume them. Preferably, I would take the beer up front and consume at least half of the beer before performing. The woman would have to bring her own beer or beverage of preference.

So if the scenario arose where BIAD and Swamp Buck believed it would be a good idea to promote Rogue Nation
via hijacking one of those large billboards, an unusual outcome would occur?

The Man-Girl and Swamp Buck might be creeping across the roof of a brewery with serious features on their faces
and large rolls of printed paper beneath their armpits, their goal lays ahead and their bonded focus was to offer the
world a fair and decent website.

Then the roof cracks beneath Swamp Buck's knees and the horned-member suddenly disappeared from BIAD's view.
Luckily, a filled vat of beer breaks SB's fall and panting in fear, BIAD peers into the hole with hopes Swamp Buck is
okay.

Breaching the surface, Swamp Buck waves that all is well and the profusely-sweating hermaphrodite breathes a sigh
of relief.
That's when the seventies porn music starts....?
tinysurprised tinybiggrin
Edith Head Gives Good Wardrobe. 
#7
all of you can say what you want. i'm still like the the fella in the story, even though im old, fat, smelly, and have a ton of ungroomed fur on my face. i'm still a ho killin ladies man.
[Image: TWBB.png]
























#8
(04-04-2021, 01:20 PM)BIAD Wrote:
(04-04-2021, 01:06 PM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote: What kind of sex, for how long, and with who? Once that is established you could haggle. I won't perform for anything less than Labatt's and it goes up from there. Then there is number of beers and when I can consume them. Preferably, I would take the beer up front and consume at least half of the beer before performing. The woman would have to bring her own beer or beverage of preference.

So if the scenario arose where BIAD and Swamp Buck believed it would be a good idea to promote Rogue Nation
via hijacking one of those large billboards, an unusual outcome would occur?

The Man-Girl and Swamp Buck might be creeping across the roof of a brewery with serious features on their faces
and large rolls of printed paper beneath their armpits, their goal lays ahead and their bonded focus was to offer the
world a fair and decent website.

Then the roof cracks beneath Swamp Buck's knees and the horned-member suddenly disappeared from BIAD's view.
Luckily, a filled vat of beer breaks SB's fall and panting in fear, BIAD peers into the hole with hopes Swamp Buck is
okay.

Breaching the surface, Swamp Buck waves that all is well and the profusely-sweating hermaphrodite breathes a sigh
of relief.
That's when the seventies porn music starts....?
tinysurprised tinybiggrin

Are we at a local micro-brewery with beer at or above 8% ABV?

Ah, what the hell, I won't remember it the next day. We could set up cameras though. Hummm.
#9
With my luck, the woman wouldn't be a woman.

"Dude ... you can HAVE the beer!!"

minusculebeercheers 

Cheers
[Image: 14sigsepia.jpg]

Location: The lost world, Elsewhen
#10
(04-04-2021, 04:55 PM)F2d5thCav Wrote: With my luck, the woman wouldn't be a woman.

"Dude ... you can HAVE the beer!!"

minusculebeercheers 

Cheers

When you get to my age im just happy with what comes along. Also for us oldies the song Hokey Cokey is as close to sex as we will ever get

#11
(04-04-2021, 04:55 PM)F2d5thCav Wrote: With my luck, the woman wouldn't be a woman.

"Dude ... you can HAVE the beer!!"

minusculebeercheers 

Cheers

@"F2d5thCav" 

smallrofl Ain't that the truth!  
#12
(04-04-2021, 04:47 PM)Michigan Swamp Buck Wrote: Are we at a local micro-brewery with beer at or above 8% ABV?

Ah, what the hell, I won't remember it the next day. We could set up cameras though. Hummm.

It would be one of those faceless corporations that don't really give a damn. Hence, you don't
need to carry guilt as you drink yourself to freedom.

The main thing is when you climb out of the vat, you look squarely into that camera and say:
"Let that be a lesson to you kids... trespass brings its own problems."

Then hiccup.
minusculebeercheers
Edith Head Gives Good Wardrobe. 
#13
(04-04-2021, 05:56 PM)Wallfire Wrote: When you get to my age im just happy with what comes along. Also for us oldies the song Hokey Cokey is as close to sex as we will ever get


If I can get a whole leg in, and still shake it about, I'm not sure that is a gal I'm brave enough to explore...

Ah, what the hell - I always carry a flashlight in my pocket, so I don't suppose I'd get lost!

.
Diogenes was eating bread and lentils for supper. He was seen by the philosopher Aristippus, who lived comfortably by flattering the king.

Said Aristippus, ‘If you would learn to be subservient to the king you would not have to live on lentils.’ Said Diogenes, ‘Learn to live on lentils and you will not have to be subservient to the king.’




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