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Winky
#1
What started out as a normal Friday culminated not too long ago with my release from the hospital!  tinycrying tinycrying

That feeling when you have to go to the bathroom like CRAZY BAD and then mid-stream...it stops coming out and is full on blocked by a 6 foot long 2000 degree razor blade (at least, that's how I remember it). 

That little f'n satan stone tore me up the whole way out. Now I know why I had "stomach pains" all day yesterday. 

And the doctor, with a freakin straight face, looks at me and says "I'll give you some antibiotics, but don't worry: Winky's heal surprisingly fast!"

So hears a lit candle for Winky and all of the poor souls that passed the mother of all kidney stones and lived to tell their tale. Nothing speaks to the truth about my day more than a phallic shaped object on fire....


Time to stop drinking soda, beer on the other hand??? ...
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#2
So sorry to hear that Ducky.   tinyshocked   I think every man should pass a stone so they get a small taste of what women experience during childbirth.   :smallwink: 

Glad you passed it and are back home all safe and sound. tinybiggrin

[Image: man-glasses-straining-toilet-concept-sit...082736.jpg]
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#3
Oh good lord. That initial pain before it passed was only about an hour (and it calmed down when I stopped trying to pass it) so I cant even imagine the pain of labor and giving birth. 

Although maybe now I can? Even slightly? 

Either way, I wish today on no man. Not even Trump  tinylaughing tinycool
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#4
I Just Happy You are Alive and Well,,,,,,
It's not the Soda, it's the water.
My husband never drinks water anymore, hasn't in 6 years.
After his kidney stone, the doctor asked him, what you drink?
Water, Coffee and Tea made from the Tap Water.
Big mistake, don't drink Arizona Tap Water.

Worst Stuff there is, to much Calcium and other Sediments.
So, now all we drink is Coffee made from bottled water and Jim Beam with Seven Up or Coke.
Couldn't be Healthier.

Water well Kill Ya!

The Mother (as you know there's more) tells the little ones.
[Image: b20acd9dc9da936ac92b0aa73ba69f67.jpg] [Image: c609b1f0-0a44-0134-e759-0a315da82319.gif...uto=format]
Once A Rogue, Always A Rogue!
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#5
The Brotherhood of Dick-Pain Knowledge will be sending it's application form for
membership to you in the next few days... you passed Test One.
tinywhat

The Coven Of Rogue-Chicks will hold a meeting tonight to discuss the parallels
between having the equivalent of a Stella's Sea Cow jammed in your Winky and
the comparable pain of issuing children.
Surgical gloves and a device that looks like a mini-umbrella will be made available.
tinywhat tinywhat

Heal Well, DFC.


Late Addition: For the younger females, there's a room off at the side to giggle in secret.
Edith Head Gives Good Wardrobe. 
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#6
Free friendly advice.


1 - Avoid all liquids.

2 - Beer is a liquid.

3 - So is whiskey.

4 - Avoid taking a shower as it will make you think of peeing.

5 - Same goes with the tap.

6 - Don't think of Niagara Falls.


Hope this helps.


mediumitwasntme
~ Today is the youngest you'll ever be again ~
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#7
Not if ya make popsicles .... then whisky an beer a solid .....
Better to reign in hell ....
  than serve in heaven .....



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#8
One word... OUCH!

And one short sentence that I NEVER thought I'd write...
Our Ducky's Winky has a booboo!

Frankly I'm bitterly disappointed that @"Daitengu" doesn't know that whisky won't freeze properly in a domestic freezer to make popsicles with. Shame on you for not having tried that for yourself!

tinysure 
G
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#9
(06-25-2017, 11:07 AM)gordi Wrote: Frankly I'm bitterly disappointed that @"Daitengu" doesn't know that whisky won't freeze properly in
a domestic freezer to make popsicles with. Shame on you for not having tried that for yourself!

tinysure 
G

Oh please don't fret, Big man... I'm sure Daitengu knows a guy -who nows a guy that has one
of those cryogenic tanks that takes temperatures waaaay down!

If I may, sprinkle some hundreds-and-thousands on your whisky-lollies and you've got a whole
new market opened up! The kids'll love 'em!!
Edith Head Gives Good Wardrobe. 
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#10
gordiOne word... OUCH!

And one short sentence that I NEVER thought I'd write...
Our Ducky's Winky has a booboo!

Frankly I'm bitterly disappointed that @"Daitengu" doesn't know that whisky won't freeze properly in a domestic freezer to make popsicles with. Shame on you for not having tried that for yourself!

tinysure 
G

Heh ..... is far better ways freeze things than domestic freezer ....
Better to reign in hell ....
  than serve in heaven .....



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#11
(06-25-2017, 11:16 AM)BIAD Wrote:
(06-25-2017, 11:07 AM)gordi Wrote: Frankly I'm bitterly disappointed that @"Daitengu" doesn't know that whisky won't freeze properly in
a domestic freezer to make popsicles with. Shame on you for not having tried that for yourself!

tinysure 
G

Oh please don't fret, Big man... I'm sure Daitengu knows a guy -who nows a guy that has one
of those cryogenic tanks that takes temperatures waaaay down!

If I may, sprinkle some hundreds-and-thousands on your whisky-lollies and you've got a whole
new market opened up! The kids'll love 'em!!

We should call that a "Sprinkly Winky" in honour of Duckys booboo! (Definitely NOT a Wonky Donkey!)
Who's In?
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#12
(06-25-2017, 11:16 AM)BIAD Wrote:
(06-25-2017, 11:07 AM)gordi Wrote: Frankly I'm bitterly disappointed that @"Daitengu" doesn't know that whisky won't freeze properly in
a domestic freezer to make popsicles with. Shame on you for not having tried that for yourself!

tinysure 
G

Oh please don't fret, Big man... I'm sure Daitengu knows a guy -who nows a guy that has one
of those cryogenic tanks that takes temperatures waaaay down!

If I may, sprinkle some hundreds-and-thousands on your whisky-lollies and you've got a whole
new market opened up! The kids'll love 'em!!


Got full access to a cryolab ...... hehe can make without have to pay middleman ...... hmmmmm...... marketing...... ya may be onto something there BIAD .......
Better to reign in hell ....
  than serve in heaven .....



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#13
(06-25-2017, 11:21 AM)gordi Wrote: We should call that a "Sprinkly Winky" in honour of Duckys booboo! (Definitely NOT a Wonky Donkey!)
Who's In?

I'm in! Could we travel the length and breadth of the UK in your VW van selling this item?

I'm just think that after 'Brexit', it would look good to see a couple of enterprising fellas
leading the way in entrepreneurship!!
minusculethumbsup
Edith Head Gives Good Wardrobe. 
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#14
(06-25-2017, 11:21 AM)gordi Wrote:
(06-25-2017, 11:16 AM)BIAD Wrote:
(06-25-2017, 11:07 AM)gordi Wrote: Frankly I'm bitterly disappointed that @"Daitengu" doesn't know that whisky won't freeze properly in
a domestic freezer to make popsicles with. Shame on you for not having tried that for yourself!

tinysure 
G

Oh please don't fret, Big man... I'm sure Daitengu knows a guy -who nows a guy that has one
of those cryogenic tanks that takes temperatures waaaay down!

If I may, sprinkle some hundreds-and-thousands on your whisky-lollies and you've got a whole
new market opened up! The kids'll love 'em!!

We should call that a "Sprinkly Winky" in honour of Duckys booboo! (Definitely NOT a Wonky Donkey!)
Who's In?


Will give ya the uk concession ...... the g's can cover the u.s concession...... sol can cover  the canadian concession ..... BIAD can have australia/nz concession ......
Better to reign in hell ....
  than serve in heaven .....



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#15
(06-25-2017, 11:30 AM)Daitengu Wrote: .... BIAD can have australia/nz concession ......

Is some-sort of connection to BAID's lack of 'down-under' apparel...?!
tinylaughing
Edith Head Gives Good Wardrobe. 
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#16
Erm ... wouldnt that be up top downunder ..... just think all the cute sheilas BIAD would meet while bringing the joy of disco an sprinkly winky to the land down under .....  oh... an heres some sunscreen an condoms .... *leaves sunscreen an condoms for BIAD * ......
Better to reign in hell ....
  than serve in heaven .....



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#17
Whiskey Popsicle, eh? 

@"Sol" - I tested my theory last night that by drinking beer my pee would be clearer (less salt or something?). Failed miserably and paid for that mistake 6 times before going to bed. Although, the alcohol did numb it a bit. 

This morning I woke up and played tough guy in the bathroom for 20 minutes, it was 4:30am and nobody was awake so I went into the kitchen to read the paper. This particular paper gets the horoscope section weekly from a place online. I NEVER read them but happened upon it and saw:

Quote:There are places in the oceans where the sea floor cracks open and spreads apart from volcanic activity. This allows geothermally heated water to vent out from deep inside the earth. Scientists explored such a place in the otherwise frigid waters around Antarctica. They were elated to find a "riot of life" living there, including previously unknown species of crabs, starfish, sea anemones, and barnacles. Judging from the astrological omens, Aries, I suspect that you will soon enjoy a metaphorically comparable eruption of warm vitality from the unfathomable depths. Will you welcome and make use of these raw blessings even if they are unfamiliar and odd? 

minusculenonono minusculewtf

Horoscope
I would hardly call these "raw feelings" just Odd and Unfamiliar.  smallcrackingup
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#18
@"gordi" Jim Beam in a Canning Jar will freeze in our freezer, that's my ice.

For all other's,,,, we voted for Sprinkly Winky.
Once A Rogue, Always A Rogue!
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#19
(06-25-2017, 11:30 AM)Daitengu Wrote: ...... sol can cover  the canadian concession .....


As long as it's Canadian Whisky, I'm all for it !!!


minusculebeercheers
~ Today is the youngest you'll ever be again ~
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#20
(06-27-2017, 02:19 PM)Sol Wrote:
(06-25-2017, 11:30 AM)Daitengu Wrote: ...... sol can cover  the canadian concession .....


As long as it's Canadian Whisky, I'm all for it !!!


minusculebeercheers
Canada, Makes A Whiskey?   tinywhat
Once A Rogue, Always A Rogue!
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