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+--- Thread: Purina.... (/thread-5995.html)
Purina.... - PLOTUS - 08-03-2020
Yesterday I was at my local Kroger's buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog, and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think... I had an elephant?
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story. Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her, no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Kroger's won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
RE: Purina.... - Sol - 08-03-2020
When I was a teen, my oldest brother and I used to go out and drink...a lot. Illegally.
One night, he had gone out to drink but I had stayed home with my Dad, who wasn't feeling well. We had almost finished a shepherd's pie my Dad had made and since there was about half a tin left of Puss'n Boots cat food, my Dad decided to mix everything up, put it back in the pan and put it back in the fridge to give to our cat the following day.
My brother came back, late in the night, drunk, went like 'oh goodie, there's leftover shepherd's pie...' and ate the whole thing.
To this day, and that is like forty plus years ago, he still doesn't believe me.
So, yes, some people do eat dog or cat food. And they don't die..
RE: Purina.... - PLOTUS - 08-04-2020
Ha ha ha ha ha....... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U8QhGXNcfA
RE: Purina.... - guohua - 08-04-2020
(08-03-2020, 11:06 PM)PLOTUS Wrote: Yesterday I was at my local Kroger's buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog, and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think... I had an elephant?
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story. Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her, no, I stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Kroger's won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
Perfect, Perfect, Perfect!
You're The BEST!
RE: Purina.... - 727Sky - 08-04-2020
Snow Flake, " I am sobbing, my eyes are swollen, and I think I can not see now ! I am not going to let you hurt me like that again!"
Trainer, " It was a sit up.... You did just one sit up !"
RE: Purina.... - NightskyeB4Dawn - 08-04-2020
(08-03-2020, 11:53 PM)Sol Wrote: So, yes, some people do eat dog or cat food. And they don't die..
I don't want to be be labeled as the stick in the mud, but I have had clients that admitted they ate canned cat food and dog food as a mainstay of their diet. They were that poor and it was one of the few meat based items they could afford. This was a good while back before pet food became a gold mine industry.
I pray every day that things never get so bad that I would feel grateful to have a can of pet food.
RE: Purina.... - Snarl - 08-04-2020
(08-03-2020, 11:06 PM)PLOTUS Wrote: Kroger's won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
LMAO ... you're terrible ... HAHAHAHAHAHA
RE: Purina.... - Snarl - 08-04-2020
(08-04-2020, 12:18 AM)PLOTUS Wrote: Ha ha ha ha ha....... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U8QhGXNcfA
Wife walked in on that at just the right moment ... choke-laffin' ATM
Is this where @"TheRedneck" is off to? Sampling tins of yum yum.
RE: Purina.... - NightskyeB4Dawn - 08-04-2020
(08-04-2020, 03:26 PM)Snarl Wrote:(08-04-2020, 12:18 AM)PLOTUS Wrote: Ha ha ha ha ha....... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6U8QhGXNcfA
Wife walked in on that at just the right moment ... choke-laffin' ATM
Is this where @"TheRedneck" is off to? Sampling tins of yum yum.
You have to put a warning up on that video. It is a good thing I don't have to see the keys to type. The tears are rolling down my face and I can barely breathe from laughing so hard.